Do you let your family pay for you?

[KpbS]

Yes, definitely let them pay. We pay for our family to vacation together.

[pinay]

I understand the desire to pay your own way, but if they're offering and it would help you out, I would accept. It doesn't sound like the offer comes with strings attached, so graciously accept and enjoy the time together!

[gatorsmom]

Yes, my parents used to pay for us when they were alive. They had the means and I know they enjoyed it. When I was single and startedstarted my first job, i would offer to pick the dinner or lunch tab when we went out. They would let me do that but not any bills bigger than that because they knew I couldn’t afford it. But they said they were proud of me for offering.

Now that we have the means, we are happy to fly Dh’s family up and to visit us.

[klwa]

My dad still insists on paying for us when we go out to eat as a group. Every so often we can sneak a bill first, but it's his way of "taking care" of us, and he can do it without hurting. If he weren't in a comfortable place financially, I'd feel differently, but as it is, he feels better about it.

In your case, maybe offer to handle a meal for the group as a thank you to him for paying for the trip or something like that.

[cagey]

If it’s just the kids I let them pay. DH and I pay our own way but let the grandparents pay foe
The kids portions. Even though my parents are more than comfortable, DH feels funny about it thinking he’s taking from their long term retirement while we’re still working.

(On the otherhand, my also-comfortable 40+ yr old siblings plus families are a different story. they not only expect to be covered by our parents but treat their house and pantry as if it’s a food bank, leaving with even half eaten boxes of cereal when they drive back home! ��)

[niccig]

(On the otherhand, my also-comfortable 40+ yr old siblings plus families are a different story. they not only expect to be covered by our parents but treat their house and pantry as if it’s a food bank, leaving with even half eaten boxes of cereal when they drive back home! ��)

DH’s sibling expects the parents to pay. DH’s parents are generous and it bothers DH that there’s an expectation for them to pick up the tab. When we’re all together, DH will pay as his sibling will pay him back but not the parents.


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[petesgirl]

I let my parents pay when they offer. They aren't well off so it isn't all the time but when they do offer there is absolutely no talking them out of it-- my mom will mail me the money afterwards if I refuse in the moment. I feel bad sometimes having them pay but I just don't feel like it's worth arguing over.

[ncat]

My in-laws have very specifically have spelled this out. If they spend the money on dinner (or whatever) with us, it is money that would otherwise be part of our inheritance when they are no longer with us. I think we all would rather enjoy it together with them.

[Globetrotter]

Let them pay. They also benefit from family time!

[gymnbomb]

I already answered your question about what we do, but I've been thinking about this and think that in addition to helping you out he is probably trying to be fair. He is providing free lodging to other family members, but doesn't have room to comfortably do that for your family too, so is offering this as an alternative way to provide you with a place to stay. I know my parents and in-laws feel very strongly that they don't want it to cost our family to spend time with them. They want to see us and they don't want that to be a financial burdon (there have been times when it would have been, and times when it wouldn't have been, but that hasn't changed their stance on it).