Update—Now what? Not sure where to go with this…

[California]

That is just what I suspected. “We tried therapy in the past and it didn’t help” is a pretty common statement. It sounds like you responded to her concerns well and that she has been trying to find help. You’ve given her a path forward with the openpathways.org therapist suggestion. Let’s hope she takes it!

I wish that talking to a therapist could resolve all this for the teen, but as you know it doesn’t work that way. I hope the mom doesn’t get discouraged too easily. Thank God she has her parents and you and your DS in her corner.

[gatorsmom]

Lisa, does the small private school your son attends have a school counselor on staff? Since this is impacting your son, at this point I’d reach out to the school counselor and/or your son’s therapist. Ask them for insights into your local services. I’d share everything and then follow their advice. I’ve realized in my earlier responses I was writing from the point of view of an educator with a school team, and that changes how I am perceived by parents. These parents may take you more seriously if you say, “DS’s therapist says this needs to take place immediately...”

.

This is a good idea. I’m going to send a MyChart message to Michael’s therapist asking for some direction and local resources. Ds1’s therapist is excellent (we are SO fortunate!).

[gatorsmom]

That is just what I suspected. “We tried therapy in the past and it didn’t help” is a pretty common statement. It sounds like you responded to her concerns well and that she has been trying to find help. You’ve given her a path forward with the openpathways.org therapist suggestion. Let’s hope she takes it!

Yes, this is clearly what they are thinking because the mom said this to both me and her daughter (daughter recorded her mother’s response when she asked to see a therapist and sent it to my Ds1). I think the dad even said something to this effect. I’ve told the daughter that the first therapist you see might not be the best fit for you. Don’t get discouraged, we just have to keep shopping. Fortunately with more therapists offering online counseling, there will be more options, I hope.

[gatorsmom]

Does she actually have health insurance? It is true that deductible and copays for mental health can be high, but not always. If she does not have health insurance, I am wondering if she would qualify for medicaid. Even with insurance, if she has crazy deductible and copays that prevent her from getting needed services, she may be able to get medicaid as a secondary insurance. Openpath can be a good solution, but I am wondering if she would benefit from something even more intensive, if she had the funding for it. There are day treatment programs that have half or whole day long treatment programs several times/week and medicaid pays for some of them.

I don't think its a bad idea to call her parents again, although I understand that is not pleasant. I would want to hear if they are saying money is the issue or, if not, what the issue is, as far as accessing therapy.

Actually, her parents are pretty nice. They always kind and show their appreciation for my calls/text messages. I just hate contacting them because seeing my number pop up must scare them to death. .

They do have insurance, according to the daughter, but yes, it sounds like they have crazy high deductibles. Also, I don’t think they saw this need for therapy coming and certainly didn’t plan financially for it. How would I find out about getting Medicaid help for her? Also, frankly, our town is small. She lives in an even more rural area (they have a farm). A day treatment program sounds wonderful but I just don’t think anything like that is available locally. You wouldn’t happen to know of a list of treatment centers with those options, would you? We are in West/Central Wisconsin.

[Globetrotter]

She is really fortunate to have you on her side. The parents do sound frozen with denial and financial stress, plus not much trust in therapy Maybe they are weighing the benefit (which they perceive as limited) with the financial burden.

I struggled to find a therapist for my mom when she was ill, and we didn’t have these financial constraints. It is hard - such a major problem and I imagine being in a rural area doesn’t help.
if it was me, I would ask DS’s therapist for suggestions on how to proceed and also how to protect your kind-hearted ds.

[KpbS]

Sending you a PM Lisa

[JustMe]

Ac
They do have insurance, according to the daughter, but yes, it sounds like they have crazy high deductibles. Also, I don’t think they saw this need for therapy coming and certainly didn’t plan financially for it. How would I find out about getting Medicaid help for her? Also, frankly, our town is small. She lives in an even more rural area (they have a farm). A day treatment program sounds wonderful but I just don’t think anything like that is available locally. You wouldn’t happen to know of a list of treatment centers with those options, would you? We are in West/Central Wisconsin.

It is hard. This information may or may not be helpful to you, so I am sorry if it is not. I found one website that may or may not be helpful as far as how to access medicaid or other plans that may be able to supplement what she has https://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/mh/hccindex.htm I did find that some links didn't work well, so not sure if you will find what you need, but its worth a try. It does mention there may be some form of help if you can't afford deductibles/copays.

I will admit to knowing nothing about geography, but I just google Wisconsin youth day treatment center and got this. https://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/mh/day...ment-youth.htm Some of the links have crisis assistance help. I think without medicaid, it might be hard to access them, though.

I think she needs to connect with a social worker or a "community partner" (community partners tend to work with medicaid to help people get access). There may be something she qualifies for, even in terms of financial assistance and I think its a matter of finding someone who knows your local systems. I know people have mentioned asking your son's therapist and I am wondering if the therapist might be able to direct you where to look (your son could ask his therapist directly, of course, and pass info on ). Even if the therapist does not generally work with people who need these services they may have a better idea of where to start locally.

[mom2binsd]

Even offering to pay for the membership, the family or the girl will need to pay each visit, and 30-60 each time will probably be too much for them if finances are that tough.

I think it's hard for folks to understand that some people have a huge block when it come to therapy/counseling and with the past experience being a negative one, it's a battle with the parents. I know you say they are nice, but you have no real idea what goes on behind closed doors, and they are obviously not as concerned as you are based on their lack of action, which is sad.

I think at some point she just needs to walk into a ED and hope that the hospital will be able to provide the appropriate referrals/speed up the process to see someone.

You are in a very tough spot, and I feel for your DS, this is a lot for a teen to handle.

I'm not sure of the legalities of this, but if he disclosed her suicidal ideation to his therapist is the therapist mandated to call the authorities?

[LBW]

If she is comfortable with her primary care physician, she should see him/her and discuss. The doc may be able to get her into therapy or inpatient sooner and/or could potentially prescribe something that could help. Therapy isn’t always a cure all, and even if she gets an appointment, she might not connect with the therapist.

[niccig]

If she is comfortable with her primary care physician, she should see him/her and discuss. The doc may be able to get her into therapy or inpatient sooner and/or could potentially prescribe something that could help. Therapy isn’t always a cure all, and even if she gets an appointment, she might not connect with the therapist.

I agree with this. The primary care physician has resources and can check in with her and her parents in the short and long term.A medical professional needs to be involved and that’s not a role for you or DS.


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