Do you have an age to stop sending gifts?

[hbridge]

I was just going through my Christmas/Birthday gift giving list for the next year and realized that the kids are all 18+. These are friends and family that live far away, we see occasionally (every 3 or 4 years), ect.

I usually mail them all gifts (all over the country), but I am thinking age 18 might be a good time to stop. We will certainly send gifts for big events (graduations, weddings, ect.), I was just wondering if I should stop with the birthday and Christmas gifts every year. What does every else do???

Thanks so much.

[gymnbomb]

In our family we send gifts through college (undergrad) if they go, but stopping after high school also seems like a good break point.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

I wouldn’t do it for friends but I would do something for nieces and nephews.


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[AnnieW625]

My childhood BFFs (I have three) and there are 5 kids between the 3 friends that range from age 13 to 6 and other than baby gifts I have never sent them anything. I don’t see them often.

For nieces and nephews and my godson (and his soon to be brother….they are DH’s 2nd cousins) I will do probably until 18. My nephews are 11, and 1 and my niece is 8.

I used to buy my 3 paternal cousins gifts when they were in their late teens as well because we saw them every Christmas (I am 9 years older than the oldest and 16 years oldest than the youngest) and would do a little chocolate box or $10 fast food gift card. We still give dh’s soon to be 30 year old cousin (unmarried, no kids) an Amazon or Bev Mo card worth about $25 for Christmas. He is DD2’s godfather though.


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[jgenie]

I vote for stopping at 18. DH disagrees so we continue sending gift cards to nieces and nephews who have graduated from college. I do the shopping and sending so I only send Christmas gifts. Everyone gets an Amazon gift card for the same amount. The amount has decreased as the years have gone.

[KrisM]

We do 21 for sending gifts to nieces and nephews. I would have done 18, but they are all on DH's side and he dragged his feet making a decision.

[belovedgandp]

Gifts to other kids are limited to our nieces and nephews. I've never gifted to kids of friends beyond times we're with them when birthday/holiday happens or significant events.

I stopped Christmas gifts with senior year of high school. I continue to send birthday gifts as long as they are in school.

I grew up in a huge family where there were 25+ grandchildren on both sides (I have over 50 first cousins). Both of my grandmothers had exact rules on gift giving. Things like birthdays were $2 until 10 and $5 until 18. Christmas gift for 5 and under was underwear/diapers, 6-10 pajamas, 11-18 $5 and a pair of socks. I never even thought it was strange until I saw how wildly DH's grandmothers showed their favoritism through gifts.

[klwa]

I have 2 nieces who are true adults. I still send Christmas cards/birthday cards, but gifts stopped once they were "adults". For Oldest niece, that was when she graduated college (also when she dropped off the "kids gift exchange" for the family). Although during her college years, it was more "send her a gift card for a local to her restaurant during exam week" which I later found out was actually used as "I'm starving and need food" when she was in grad school and her parents had cut her off from money from them. Her younger sister was pregnant the summer after she should have finished high school, so I switched to sending gifts to her daughter instead of her at that point. (I still sent the normal graduation presents when she finished her GED a couple of years later.)

Now I've got two nieces in college and a nephew just starting, but I haven't been as good about sending stuff during exam week, etc. (Plus, with COVID, they've been at their parents' houses most of their exam weeks.) So, I'm back to money in their birthday cards and getting them a gift at Christmas. But once they graduate and become "real adults", I'll drop back to just cards for those, too.

[mmsmom]

We still send to our adult nieces & nephews and I think their spouses (DH handles so not sure) but it probably should stop. Some have kids now too and we have sent baby gifts but not birthdays or Christmas for them. They live on other side of country so if we saw them for a holiday we would get gifts then.

I will say I was disappointed when my grandparents decided to stop sending me birthday money. It was never that much but a friend of my Grandmother’s stopped birthday gifts after they graduated college so my grandma did the same. There were only 2 grandkids and there were still years after college when a little extra $ was welcome. But I think grandparents are different from aunts/uncles.

[gymnbomb]

I just realized that my "we stop after college" answer was just for my Mom's side of the family. On my stepdad's side of the family I am the only niece/nephew/grandchild. He has no other kids, and his sister never married or had kids. I just got a very nice vase of flowers from my grandfather and a Target gift card from my aunt for my birthday and I'm 39. This is very different from my Mom's side of the family where she has 3 siblings who each have 2-3 kids.