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Thread: What Vacation?

  1. #1
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default What Vacation?

    So, we're spending some time down the shore with the extended family (total of 20 people spread among 3 rental houses) and are mostly having fun, but DH is doing that thing that he does where he INSISTS that he wants to "find out what Mom/Aunt B/Cousin M/BIL" is doing before he'll make a decision.

    What he needs to do is make a plan, tell people that this is what he wants to do (host a cocktail party, BYO drinks/snacks; host a game night; take the kids up to the Boardwalk; whatever...) instead of texting his cousin or aunt or parents or brother and waiting for THEM to make an effing decision.

    He spent all year talking about this vacation and now he's just doing his regular stuff. I don't understand.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  2. #2
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Sending a

    FWIW, my dh complains that we do nothing when we're in NC for vacation. Well, we do nothing bc 'YOU sleep till 3pm!!'. This year I decided to do my own thing. I took my dogs and went on my own excursions. I visited 7 new places and did 8 new hikes over the 2 weeks. Was awesome! maybe you could say 'I'm going to do xyz' text me when you have a plan and I'll come back. ?
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and 2 cocker spaniels

  3. #3
    Kestrel is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Oh, I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    It's gotten to the point where I say "Do you have anything planned out for tomorrow? No? I'm planning on X, do you want to come too?". DH can join or not, Sis can join or not, Niece 1,2, & 3 can come or not... but I'm Going!!!

  4. #4
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I think the "are you doing ...? well, if not, we'll be doing ..." thing is what he has to do with his family because this "well, let's see what everybody else is doing" thing is like he expects them to read his mind. My sister used to do that and I found it infuriating; maybe that's why I get so upset with DH when he does it here?

    DD and I will happily walk the Boardwalk every day (we're usually up before 8am) or explore the downtown or ride our bikes or whatever else is going on, but we don't stall around waiting for the other 18 people to make a decision before we leave and go DO something.

    The only time it really impacts me is when it also involves dinner because I get HANGRY and queasy if I don't eat when my body wants to!
    Last edited by lizzywednesday; 08-04-2021 at 10:59 AM.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  5. #5
    PunkyBoo is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    That would make me nuts. I enjoy planning, so i usually plan vacations and itineraries, and build in down time. I have no patience for other people's waffling.

    Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

    Mama to DS1 Punkin (2/04) and DS2 Boo (1/09)

  6. #6
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    I am in the "this is what I am doing, let me know if you want to come" camp. And if your DH complains--shut.him.down. Seriously. talk to the hand. Dinner--figure out what you want to eat and eat it at the time you need to do so.
    Mom to:
    DS '02
    DD '05
    Simon--the King Charles cutie
    RIP Andy, the furry first child, 1996-2012

    "The task of any religion is not to tell us who we are entitled to hate but to teach us who we are required to love."

  7. #7
    jgenie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    This would drive me bonkers too. I would do exactly what you and DD are doing. There’s nothing wrong with planning your meals and inviting others to join. You matter just like everyone else there.
    for Carmen

  8. #8
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quick update:

    We've been home a week and are starting to plan for 2022 *knocks wood*, investigating a 2-week stay but not necessarily overlapping with the extended family, who we barely saw - but nobody made concrete plans to hang out. I think they all assumed we'd figure it out once we were there. (Excuse me while I pull a muscle with my eye-roll.)

    Anyway, DD and I had a great time - we walked or biked everywhere and even convinced DH to come play mini-golf with us. DH needs to get his shoe-fit issues sorted out before we do anything active in the future, though, because he developed a MASSIVE blister on his toe after walking a couple miles with us early in the week. The toebox in his Skechers doesn't seem to be wide enough to accommodate his calluses. (Also, he refused my offer to get moleskin pads while the area was still a "hot spot." Be proud of me for not saying "I told you so.")
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

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