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  1. #11
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by carolinamama View Post
    Sometimes I think people just say things to talk without stopping to think. After having 2 boys (and losing 2 boys during pregnancy), I thought for sure DD would be a boy. We were hoping for a baby. It was hurtful to say the least when strangers and friends assumed I was going for a girl. Lots of "I'm sure you are hoping it's a girl" and then "Aren't you so glad to be getting your girl?" They would even say it in front of the boys. In some ways, my kids follow traditional gender stereotypes but in others they do not. DD is loud and physical, DS1 is calm, responsible, and a dream student, and DS2 is very sensitive. It's hard even for me to break out of my conditioned gender thoughts but I'm trying.
    I’m sorry for your losses.

    I had a friend a long while back that felt all sorry for me when I had ds2. Kept saying how perfect her family was because she had one of each and I should keep trying for a girl. I love being a boy mom! She annoyed me so much. It never bothered me to have 2 boys but she kept making it a “thing”.
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  2. #12
    Myira is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    I’m sorry for your losses.

    I had a friend a long while back that felt all sorry for me when I had ds2. Kept saying how perfect her family was because she had one of each and I should keep trying for a girl. I love being a boy mom! She annoyed me so much. It never bothered me to have 2 boys but she kept making it a “thing”.
    .


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains
    My aunt was visiting me after DS was born and her son, my boy cousin, just had had a second girl right after I had DS. She remarks to me that she is glad her son has 2 girls instead of having one of either gender since same gender works out better for companionship. I’m sure if the situation was reverse, she would wax poetic about how his family was complete or something by having one of either gender. Basically people will say anything to make themselves feel better about their own hang ups or insecurities.


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains
    DD 10/2008
    DS 09/2011

  3. #13
    dogmom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    PREACH!

    Seriously, every time I hear from some mother that girls are harder than boys I think, “Wow, you really don’t like other women do you?”

  4. #14
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by dogmom View Post
    PREACH!

    Seriously, every time I hear from some mother that girls are harder than boys I think, “Wow, you really don’t like other women do you?”
    Yes, this! I always hated the "wait till she's a teen!" "here comes trouble!" comments. Guess, what, she is a teen and teen girls are frickin' amazing. So interesting and wity and brilliant and yes, sometimes they test you to your limits as a parent. But parenting a teen girl also makes you realize how many centuries of active misogyny it has taken to keep these fierce and brilliant spirits subjugated and suppressed.

    And all the sports, macho talk for boys - some of the sweetest humans I know are young men. Just give them all the space and love to be good humans!

    for Sandy Hook



  5. #15
    Kestrel is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    DS mentioned in passing that he had made x for dinner (while at judo class) and several of the other boys were shocked. I'm so proud of him! He just looked back at them and said... I like to eat! And if I cook, I can make what I want! Made them all stop and think. (DS is 12 and the youngest in the group, other boys are 14-15 and girls are 13-16.)

  6. #16
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Very well said and very good points.
    lucky single mom to 20 yr old dd and 17 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  7. #17
    erosenst is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Totally get it. If one more person reacted with shock when they asked DD her favorite subject in school and heard math...it wasn't going to be pretty.

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