Well I'm just fumbling through too and I strongly suspect that any parent who says otherwise doesn't know what they don't know. It's one thing to push at a punishingly level but parenting includes helping our kids reach their potential. Pushing shows you believe in your kids. In my experience, parents who act like this are trying to justify the reason their kid isn't at the same place as another kid instead of chocking it up to different kids do different things at their own pace. You are doing great and those moms suck.
Mom to Two Wild and Crazy Boys and One Sweet Baby Girl