Hoco proposals

[SAHMIL]

I am trying to not be judgmental , and please excuse me if I do. As the mom of a boy, while I do think some of these « Hoco proposals » are cute, to me it comes across as way over the top . Thé promposals were cute and one thing . However for Homecoming, I think that it puts a lot more pressure on boys —- now in addition to finding a date , a boy can be rejected potentially for not having a good enough proposal. I get worried that when he wants to propose to someone when they get married , it’s going to be even more pressure . How do we say enough is enough and somehow bring it all back down to earth ?


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[georgiegirl]

I totally agree with you. It is problematic on so many levels. It puts put pressure on boys to come up with elaborate proposals. If makes both boys and girls feel ****ty if they aren’t part of it. It seems like it’s another example of how those with seemingly “picture perfect” lives can advertise their fancy proposals on social media. I don’t want my daughter to feel her self worth depends on whether a boy asks her to hoco. DD is going with a group of her female friends. Her best friend is going with a boy who asked her on Snapchat. . That “proposal” is on the other end of the spectrum.

[cagey]

My daughter and her group of self proclaimed misfit friends are going stag/in a group and did “self proposals” where they’d either invite their friends or in displays of self love, “self invites” with locker posters describing how awesome they are and why they’d want to go to HoCo with themselves ��. really hope this catches on, as the pressure otherwise is insane

[SnuggleBuggles]

My ds1 definitely stressed about his but then he told me he was stressed and I helped some then he told some of his friends he was stressed and they helped him- then it became fun! I still think it’s super unnecessary.
I don’t think dates say no if the proposal isn’t the best- I assume they still choose based on who they want to go with.


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[belovedgandp]

It's just another layer of insanity. Life is complicated enough. I do think the cycle is slowing down. It might have peeked about four years ago.

DS1 was asked to a friend at another school by Insta message to her dance. He is going to his school's dance with a group of friends. From me reading between the lines I think he asked a girl in the group as a "date" but she had already formed a group and didn't want it broken out and he's joining in on that group. This is the first step towards girlfriend we've ever had, so I'm trying to stay clear.

[ezcc]

Is this a regional thing? I haven't really heard of those happening around her (not even "promposals"). I'll ask my kids but usually for dances it seems kids just go with a boyfriend/girlfriend if they have one and if not just organized dates within their friend groups. They both go to single sex schools so maybe that is why.

[mmsmom]

I agree it is unfair additional pressure on an already uncomfortable situation. Thankfully none of the boys in DS’s group did anything extra this year. I’m not sure how it was decided but the Mom’s I know all agreed it wasn’t necessary. We told DS we would help him but he shouldn’t feel like he had to do something elaborate. He did ask someone but just asked in person which I consider a win that it wasn’t a text.

I think for Juniors and Seniors if it’s tradition then it’s not so bad but for 9th graders who have mostly never asked anyone out it is too much. And there is unfair pressure on girl to say yes bc she doesn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings who has come up with something elaborate.

[khm]

It's just another layer of insanity. Life is complicated enough. I do think the cycle is slowing down. It might have peeked about four years ago.

DS1 was asked to a friend at another school by Insta message to her dance. He is going to his school's dance with a group of friends. From me reading between the lines I think he asked a girl in the group as a "date" but she had already formed a group and didn't want it broken out and he's joining in on that group. This is the first step towards girlfriend we've ever had, so I'm trying to stay clear.

Yeah, I think it peaked a few years ago here. I'd see super elaborate stuff online and in real life (huge signs on the side of the road, which seemed dangerous given the road!). If anything now it is just a simple poster board with a cute pun or something but even that is fading.

[smilequeen]

I totally agree. Thankfully seems to be a public school thing here. My boys go to an all boys school, so they just ask the girl to go with them...no big scene since they don't actually go to school together.

That's a whole lot of extra pressure. Asking someone is difficult enough.

[petesgirl]

You mean like this? Ha ha...

https://www.youtube.com/results?sear...io+c+promposal