S/o homecoming and prom

[Myira]

Let me preface by saying I did not grow up in this country so my idea of these events is only restricted to what I’ve seen on screen! I have several questions about how it is in real life. So if you guys don’t mind please educate me!
First of all, what’s the difference between homecoming and prom?
Does everyone participate or only the cool kids do?
What do folks that don’t have a partner do? Do you just go around asking people if he or she will be your date?(like on screen lol)
Do all schools do this or how big a deal is it?



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[smilequeen]

I think there are details that can be very local/regional.

Homecoming...beginning of the year, typically tied to a big football game, everyone can go. Whether you need a date or not may depend on the school. My boys' school requires them to have a date (all boys school) which, I love their school, but I disagree with that. My freshman isn't interested in dating yet, but would go with friends. It's just a dance at school in the gym (or outdoors this year for us), but there is a lot of parent planning about before and after. I haven't done one yet with my kids...my oldest son's date flaked at the last second his freshman year (stupid girl ), no homecoming because of covid last year, he may go this year.

Prom...end of year dance, juniors and seniors (last year our school did only seniors bc of covid). Other details similar to homecoming. At least, when I was in HS it wasn't at school, it was in a ballroom in a hotel. Not sure what they do now...my oldest is a junior. Seems more formal. Long dresses instead of short, some guys rent tuxes, more renting of limos, etc.

I went to an all girls school, so we didn't have homecoming. We had different beginning of the year dances. I went to some homecomings at the all boys schools. That's kind of typical for this area...We had to have dates, but we would often just invite an equal number of guy friends from other schools and it was really just a friend group. We could go dateless to prom so we didn't have to worry about numbers.

[mmsmom]

Agree it is regional and school dependent. It is also somewhat different now than when I was in school
30 years ago. At my DC’s school Homecoming is a football game when alumni return to the school and attend the game. There is a homecoming Queen and king that are crowned at halftime. Students attend the game with friends as they usually do for other football games. The next day, Saturday night, is a homecoming dance for 9-12th grades. Some kids take dates, some go in groups. Boys wear coat and tie and girls wear short dressy dresses. They get together for dinner beforehand (in my area it is usually at a country club).

Prom is for juniors and seniors only. In my day you didn’t go without a date but these days groups of friends without dates go too. Boys wear tuxedos, girls wear long dresses. Dinner beforehand, after parties (most schools have these at school to keep kids safe) usually parents host a breakfast the next day. It’s and all night into next morning event.

Our school also has a Sadie Hawkins dance around Valentines Day where girls ask boys.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It’s not really like the movies for most schools. I’m sure there are exceptions.
Ds1 actually went solo to homecoming sophomore year as a last minute decision. He met up with friends there. Next 2 years he either went with just friends or with a date. Others described it in a way that meshes with mine- football, parade, homecoming court, dance. The girls get pretty dressed up, boys wear either suits or just pants, button down and ties.

The group photo opp is a big deal here. The kids scout out venues and all arrange to meet and take pictures before the dances. Parents come too as paparazzi. The best is to send the kids on their way and then invite those parents over to hang out- it’s a nice social opportunity.
Prom is really similar just kicked up a notch fashion wise. Couples go together, promposals are a thing but not super crazy, friend groups also go together.
Our schools do not offer an after prom. They still just go to their friends houses. I know ds1 went to laser tag or something after one dance.
“Cool” or “popular” doesn’t matter. Most everyone participates.


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[MaiseyDog]

Here in the deep south, Homecoming is short party dresses for the girls and ties for the boys. At our school kids tend to go in groups to homecoming and dates aren't as big of a thing. Homecoming tends to be more carefree and fun. The dance is usually in the school gym (although this year they are doing a silent disco on the football field)

Prom is for Juniors and Seniors and is long, formal dresses for girls and tuxes for guys. Dates are much more common and it's usually at a nicer venue like a local country club or nice hotel ballroom.

[essnce629]

Depends on the schools for sure.

DS1 attended a small private high school (graduating class of 70) with no football. So there's no homecoming dance since there's no football. They do have junior and senior prom and it's usually at a hotel off campus somewhere. No prom junior year due to Covid and last year was seniors only, no outside guests allowed, and it was held at school due to Covid. There was an outside pre-party at one of the students houses where parents attended with kids so they could get all the pre-prom pictures. Then the kids were bussed to prom. Because of Covid restrictions, it wasn't that fun, and DS and his friends only stayed for an hour or so. Everyone went home, changed out of their formal prom clothes, and headed to the after party (not hosted by school) which was much more fun.

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[hbridge]

DC attends a small, private alternative high school.. No homecoming, usually a prom. Prom is not necessarily formal, but can be depending on the kids. Held off campus in a more "formal" environment. Dates are fine, but not necessary. Prom is open to the entire high school.

Growing up in a large public school in the 80's, we still did not have a homecoming dance (not sure when that became a "thing"). Prom was a big deal for Juniors and Seniors. Most had dates, almost everyone rented limos/towncars/ect. Prom was VERY formal with long gowns, matching shoes, dates with matching cumberbuns. Prom was always at a local'ish hotel in the main ballroom; it was a big event, expensive to attend, expensive to outfit for. A "right of passage" so to speak and very much like the movies from the 80's.

[AnnieW625]

Homecoming at my school (Northern California farming community) was during the middle of football season. It was not formal and the dance was always right after the football game; it was the one dance that went until midnight vs the normal 7-10 dance hours. We had a King and a Queen plus the court but they were the only ones who were dressed up. You could totally go to homecoming without a date. One of my brother’s friends who was a sophomore when I was a senior asked me to homecoming and I said no. I just had no desire to go with a sophomore. Looking back it wouldn’t have been a big deal to go with him.

My school had a winter formal that was all grades.

There was a Junior prom that essentially a freshman or sophomore could go to if your date was a junior. Kids from other schools could come only if their date went to our school. The junior prom was always at our school. I think some people did dinner before and there was an after party. People always went with a date.

Senior prom had the same rules as the junior prom. Everyone had a date. Most people went as a group (set of dates) and rented limos and some rented hotel rooms for after parties. This was 1995 so I am % sure there was beer and alcohol at those parties. Pre prom there was a parade of couples at the school for parents and friends to take photos, and most all went out to dinner. Prom was always at a hotel or banquet hall in Sacramento. Having shared limousines made it safer as well.

I didn’t go to my senior prom and I was okay with that.


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[klwa]

NC here.

Homecoming is generally a football game that the school expects to be able to win. There's basically a beauty pageant at half time where the queen (senior) and princesses (other classes) are announced after a vote by students during school. Graduates from the school are heavily encouraged to attend (often the class reunions will be held the same weekend), hence the "homecoming" part of it. There's often events at school that lead up to it. (Bonfire, pep rally, grade level "spirit" competitions, dressing up for special days, etc.) When I was a kid, our school had a dance immediately after the game, so most people went wearing jeans, sweaters, etc. By the time I got to high school, the dance was cancelled. The area I'm in now doesn't have a dance either, but has a huge parade with all the various student organizations having a float. But really, other than the girls on Homecoming Court and their escorts, no special dresses, etc.

Prom is a much bigger thing. Formal dresses (short or long), boys in tuxes or nice suits, corsages/boutineers, at a hotel ballroom, the whole nine yards! And only juniors and seniors can purchase tickets, but can invite someone from a lower grade. When I was in school (graduated 94), going with a group of friends if you didn't have a date was common. (I LOVED my junior prom where I went with 4 female friends and we danced with each other or any of the guys who went stag.) An after party hosted by the school isn't uncommon. My high school had a movie night in the gym, where we all ended up sleeping on the gym floor, with parents walking around as chaperones.

[Kindra178]

Homecoming here (occurs in the fall): party dresses for girls (short and tight/fitted seems to be a thing), ties/jackets/suits for boys. This year is different because they will be outside, so dress code is more open. Dates or big groups, small groups, it doesn't matter. The dance here is more like a club meets concert, with a mosh pit, and DJs with all the things.

Prom is more formal and occurs in the spring. Tuxes more likely than not, longer dresses. When I was in high school, there was a junior senior prom. Here it's only seniors. I actually don't know if you need a date but I don't think so.