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  1. #1
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default Am I out of line here?

    I sat down for lunch today and saw a sticky pad I wrote a grocery list on a few weeks ago. I went to the store last week and got the stuff so I was going to throw away the list when I saw 2 dates written on it in tiny handwriting. I asked dh about it - he said he wrote them. One is for him and the other is for me. ??? Someone called to confirm an appt.

    I asked who the appointment was for and he said he didnt know. "The girls? Maybe you. They called and spoke really fast and hung up." I asked if he checked caller id - no. When was the call? He gets all defensive and angry... "IdK a while ago. I assumed you know because you made it"

    I then got to call my primary care and see if I had anything scheduled on that day, the kids' pedi and their dentist. ... it was for the dentist.

    Am I out of line for being irate?
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and 2 cocker spaniels

  2. #2
    petesgirl is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I would be upset and annoyed also.

    Perfect example of only one parent carrying the mental load.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  3. #3
    JamiMac is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Annoyed, I sort of see. Irate? That seems a bit much. People forget things when they are busy. I would certainly hope that my DH would not be irate if I made a mistake like that. He wrote it down, but didnít pay much attention to who it was. Sounds like you narrowed it down pretty easily.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    DD 2001
    DD 2004
    DS 2007

  4. #4
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by JamiMac View Post
    Annoyed, I sort of see. Irate? That seems a bit much. People forget things when they are busy. I would certainly hope that my DH would not be irate if I made a mistake like that. He wrote it down, but didnít pay much attention to who it was. Sounds like you narrowed it down pretty easily.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    Ditto.
    I would have (rightfully) assumed my spouse already had the appointment on their calendars. The courtesy reminder calls arenít really necessary for me. Only problem would be is if it was the provider calling to say they needed to reschedule. But, I wouldnít be irate.


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

  5. #5
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    Ditto.
    I would have (rightfully) assumed my spouse already had the appointment on their calendars. The courtesy reminder calls arenít really necessary for me. Only problem would be is if it was the provider calling to say they needed to reschedule. But, I wouldnít be irate.


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains
    Yep, this is how I see it. Dh and I are so busy Iíd chalk it up to him being interrupted and then he forgot about it. Since Iím guilty of that much more than he is, Iíd let it go. If this were a regular occurrence and I needed those reminders, Iíd be much more annoyed. However, Iíd figure out another system for reminders (like ask the hospital to email or text me rather than the phone calls) and just not rely on him.
    "People are made for happiness. Rightly then, you thirst for happiness. Christ has the answer to this desire of yours. But he asks you to trust him." -St. John Paul II

  6. #6
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    I can see this happening in our house too and I would be annoyed but not irate. DH is clueless when it comes to the family calendar despite the numerous times I've tried to share it with him. He figures I have it organized and doesn't know why he should get involved. I definitely carry the mental load of the family and I'll leave it at that because it's how we are set up at this point. It's probably a good thing I get almost all reminders through text message.
    Mom to Two Wild and Crazy Boys and One Sweet Baby Girl

  7. #7
    gymnbomb is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I would be very annoyed because (though DH is fabulous about MANY things) I always get stuck dealing with all of the appointment stuff for everyone and sometimes I forget about one and need the reminder. Part of my annoyance would be based on my silent resentment for having to do all of the remembering and scheduling of everything. If DH could tell me who the kids dentist is or even what town they are located in I would be less annoyed at him not writing down that the appointment was for their dentist. Or if he'd said "Someone called with a reminder that the kids have an appointment this week and I wrote down the time, but I'm sorry I forgot who it was" that would also help tone down my annoyance.
    DS 2/14
    DD 8/17

  8. #8
    jgenie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I would be annoyed but not to the level of irate. I’m a SAHM and handle all kid and house related issues. I am human and do occasionally miss things so reminders are important. My DH would have handled it similarly. anything not related to his work or his body are not on his radar and don’t register.
    for Carmen

  9. #9
    ncat is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    I'd be annoyed. I have asked DH to just please not pick up the phone if he can't take a competent message and have shifted contact info to me and my cell phone to avoid exactly this situation.
    ncat
    mama to DD 12/04, DS1 11/08, and DS2 7/13

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