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  1. #21
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    Seems like that last point could easily be solved with a family meeting. Everyone share their goals and ideas then divvy it up in a way that everyone is clear what is going to happen on the weekend. If people need to do something then they can plan accordingly. Like on Wednesday think through chores, projects and the fun stuff. Make a plan. Share the plan. Have the kids get involved with the planning. I think if everyone gets on the same page and knows what the plan is that it’ll go smoothly. It’a like planning a vacation with an itinerary.


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    This is what works during the rest of the week...I think the tricky part is getting DH onto a schedule...He will agree, then resist and it is MUCH harder to make him do what (we agreed to!) so what happens is to head that off we don't talk, I kind of try to make some structure, it isn't enough...I gotta think on this more. DH has a lot of demons he's working on right now (anxiety, depression, ADHD) and maybe that's why weekends are so hard lately. I'm sort of dealing with his demons as well as the other more mundane weekend issues. I honestly hadn't seen this as a possibility until your idea Snugglebuggles!

  2. #22
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    Sunday is my current bugaboo. I can't quite ever seem to strike the right balance. I want to do fun things - I want to go go go! But a lot of times my kids do not want to - they'd rather sit and watch Disney+. So it's some pressure between finding something we will all enjoy AND getting "stuff" done like shopping and cooking. I usually end the day feeling either like we didn't do anything worthwhile or I didn't get enough "stuff" done. I've just been so aware of how short our time with them left in our home can be, and I want to make sure we enjoy the time we have as much as possible. But instead we kind of end up in an endless loop of me suggesting things that they don't want to do, me getting frustrated because we didn't do anything at all. If we weren't going to do anything fun, we'd have done well to do something necessary, but neither happens. If we do go out to do something, then at least some of the time the kids end up squabbling and not actually having any fun which feeds into the cycle. Then Sunday night I start feeling sad for my wasted weekend.
    I become the "heavy" for getting ANYTHING done. Even fun stuff. It is emotionally taxing to be the "driver" for the whole weekend for two days straight. I enjoy my Sundays a lot if I have a good Saturday.
    I just have to say how much both of these comments resonated with me. I def feel like I have to be the one to make anything happen on the weekend, and my kids really drag their feet. It doesn't help that we've got some bad screen time habits from the pandemic we're still withdrawing from. (And DH isn't around most weekends as he's working so the activities are just the kids and I and when they are fighting/bickering the whole time I wonder why I even tried). I don't have much of a routine to share, I also crave structure and have had a weird relationship with weekends my whole adult life even before kids - i love the possibility of them but then either get down when we don't really have plans or find myself unrealistically thinking I'll get more done than I ever can.
    ~ Dawn
    Our little monkey (4/2011) & his early holiday present 12/12

  3. #23
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    This is what works during the rest of the week...I think the tricky part is getting DH onto a schedule...He will agree, then resist and it is MUCH harder to make him do what (we agreed to!) so what happens is to head that off we don't talk, I kind of try to make some structure, it isn't enough...I gotta think on this more. DH has a lot of demons he's working on right now (anxiety, depression, ADHD) and maybe that's why weekends are so hard lately. I'm sort of dealing with his demons as well as the other more mundane weekend issues. I honestly hadn't seen this as a possibility until your idea Snugglebuggles!
    Be sure and schedule free time too! You’ll more likely get people on board if there’s balance


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

  4. #24
    twowhat? is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    We have ZERO weekend routine hahahaha. I really feel like I need weekends to recover so we rarely plan ahead for the weekend and usually play it by ear.

    I get up by 8-9am, but only because of the dogs. If there were no dogs, I would happily sleep until 10am or 11am. The kids sleep until 10-11am We usually skip breakfast. We scrounge leftovers for lunch. Maybe we go and get boba or frozen custard. Maybe the kids have friends over for an impromptu playdate. More likely they chat with their school friends online while playing the latest trendy game. We adults catch up on laundry, grocery shopping, costco runs. I vacuum and maybe clean one of our 4 toilets. Or one of our showers. We take the dogs for their daily walks. We order takeout for dinner. Maybe we do a family movie night. Maybe not. Every few weeks the dogs get a bath, which is a big production. LOL. When the weather cools off DH and I will work on the yard which is in very poor shape since the texas power grid crisis that also killed most of our landscaping. I really want to start going through my closet and purging stuff but haven't felt I had the energy. This weekend something urgent came up for work and I worked most of the weekend. Boo.

  5. #25
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    DH and I usually take turns sleeping in on the weekends (one of us gets Saturday, the other gets Sunday). On his day to get up he usually makes a fun breakfast like pancakes or waffles or cinnamon rolls for the kids. Sometimes we have an activity like soccer or dance on Saturday. Sometimes I need to spend half a day working. But usually we try to get out of the house at least once (playground or zoo or even just the grocery store). We spend some time lounging and watching TV together. Sometimes we get together with my parents for a little while. I usually do a few loads of laundry. We try to keep scheduling pretty flexible for most of the weekend so we can just enjoy hanging out.
    DS 2/14
    DD 8/17

  6. #26
    mmsmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Our weekends have changed since kids are now teens. When they were younger we did more fun activities as a family- park, local event, etc. Now they are teens and sleep in and have their own social lives. DS has service projects and tennis on weekends. DD sometimes has a riding lesson or show. I do try to plan something if nothing is going on otherwise the kids are content with phones/video games all weekend.

    There are a couple things I get done on weekends- laundry and meal planning/ordering grocery pick up for week. I also email DH schedule of who needs to be where and we sign up for our driving shifts. Otherwise I relax, meet up with friends, or DH and I have social plans.

    When I growing up we went to 11:00 church every Sunday followed by lunch out and then a drive or some shopping or errands. We would be home around 2:00-3:00 then I would go back to church at 5:00 for youth group. So Sundays were very much a church and family day.

  7. #27
    Kestrel is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    It's fall, so here weekends are all about football!

    Since DH works in real estate, Sat is just another workday, but this time out of the house with people - most weekdays he works from home. DS and I go through the previous weeks' schoolwork and do whatever parent-assisted stuff he needs for his online class (state history). We also clean floors (sweep, mop, vac). Since it is late summer/fall, I'm also canning/freezing/making jam. (Spring/summer has garden work.)

    Sunday is football - 8am until evening game is over (sometime between 8-9pm). DS is usually with DH and I, but he brings his book and/or drawing to the TV. We make chili if cold and grill if warm. We put all the bedding through the washer/dryer and then as much other laundry as we can rotate through. (The laundry machines work far more then we do.) We work together to re-make beds and fold laundry. We discuss and write down, plan activities for the upcoming week and write meal plan, which I then translate into a grocery list.

    I like to start the week with all of the week's activities and meals already planned. DS and DH have been well trained to know - if it doesn't make the To-Do list, it doesn't get To-Done!

  8. #28
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    ...
    I crave structure. I like to relax but can't unless my environment is very orderly. My house is small so kids in messy jammies making messes is not my happy place. And my small space requires very little in the way of actual cleaning but a whole lot in the way of organizing and reordering. I do want my people to have a good weekend too. I'll write more later but have to head into my productive Monday morning sesh, lol.
    DH has ADHD, and he struggles with clutter. It bothers me a lot less (literally A LOT less) but we've been taking the time to break up projects that might end up as major weekend time-sucks into ... smaller daily tasks that all 3 of us share.

    ETA: I also want balance for my kids. And there are at least 3 people in my house (including DH) who are ADHD so I become the "heavy" for getting ANYTHING done. Even fun stuff. It is emotionally taxing to be the "driver" for the whole weekend for two days straight. I enjoy my Sundays a lot if I have a good Saturday.
    I hear you on wanting balance, but deferring EVERYTHING to Saturday isn't balance. It's probably why your Saturdays feel less enjoyable and more like pain points.

    Start small. Checklists have really helped the family members in my house (which is small, but your description of your house sounds a lot like the house I grew up in before we renovated, so I COMPLETELY understand the challenge with a large family - to put it in perspective, my family had 2 adults, an elementary schooler, a preschooler, a toddler, and an infant before my parents moved forward on the reno!) who have ADHD.

    DH has his own, but DD and I work on hers to ensure that she knows how to do everything on it AND that it won't make her late for school - certain tasks are expected every day before school and after school. I reserve the right to call a wild card for something pressing but not listed, like books on the floor, toys that haven't been cleaned up, light housework (dusting, mopping, sweeping, etc.), or yard work (current issue is weeding the flower beds, but we also rake leaves and sweep up grass clippings.)

    The checklists help us keep the clutter to a "10-minute pickup" level without putting a huge amount of responsibility she's not quite ready for on DD's shoulders.

    PS - I'd be happy to share the checklists we're using if you think they'll work; I have them on my Google Drive. I did a cheap-o method to make it dry-erase by printing a sheet, sliding it into a sheet protector, taping it to her door, and then using hook-and-loop (Velcro) sticky tape to add a dry-erase marker to the whole business.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  9. #29
    AnnieW625's Avatar
    AnnieW625 is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Lizzy— could I get a copy of those checklists. It will be a fight to get started with DD2, but it could help.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Annie
    WOHM to two wonderful little girls born in April
    DD E, 17
    DD L, 13,
    baby 2, 4-2009 (our Tri-18 baby)

  10. #30
    jgenie is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Lizzy - I would love a copy of your checklists!

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