Would you talk to the teacher?

[carolinamama]

This doesn't sound so much as a reading timing question as possibly some perfectionism as you stated. Personally, I'd work with my kid to understand that 2 hours is a rough guide, each student reads at a different pace so the teacher assigns a time rather than page amount. I probably would not contact the teacher at that age; it's up to her to clarify. If you see this theme impacting work in other subjects, a call to the guidance counselor may be in order and your move towards counseling sounds most helpful.

As for now, I'd probably encourage my kid to keep the timer far away (and maybe you even control it for a week or so). Set it for an increment such as 30 minutes, tell her to read and when it goes off, she's done 30 minutes no matter what else happened.

[hbridge]

My child would do something similar! We have always hated "timed reading" for that reason.

Honestly, if your DD needs to hear from the teacher that it's okay, she needs to hear it from the teacher. No matter what you say the "rules" are set in her head.

If she is uncomfortable talking to the teacher directly about this, I think it would be okay for you to approach the teacher and let her know that this assignment is causing anxiety and why. It may be something they have not run into before. Maybe the teacher could tweak the assignment to writing down the number of pages you read or reading 400 pages a week... something less tied to watching a stopwatch.

You are not alone, my child would do the same and once the "rules" are established in their head, that's it! I wouldn't hesitate to reach out to the teacher with your child's permission.

[mom2binsd]

Honestly at the high school level, and especially for something like this, I would NOT contact the teacher. If it's an issue, impacting her grade she can talk with the teacher, but rather I would as the parent try to address your concerns with anxiety etc and coping skills etc.

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[Snow mom]

This sounds like a fluff, not heavily regulate assignment that your DD is making a bigger deal out of than necessary. It’s really an issue with your DD that I wouldn’t expect the teacher to make any accommodations for unless she was being super strict with the two hours and causing the anxiety about what counts. I assume she is at most asking the kids to affirm (or get signatures to affirm) that they’ve done their weekly reading. 120 minutes a week is 20 minutes a day with one day off. I’d lay off timing completely and just emphasize a bit of reading each day. I honestly would take the timer away, not control it myself, and send the message that she is taking this much too rigidly. Maybe a discussion with your DD of what she thinks teachers goal is?

[ett]

This sounds like a fluff, not heavily regulate assignment that your DD is making a bigger deal out of than necessary. It’s really an issue with your DD that I wouldn’t expect the teacher to make any accommodations for unless she was being super strict with the two hours and causing the anxiety about what counts. I assume she is at most asking the kids to affirm (or get signatures to affirm) that they’ve done their weekly reading. 120 minutes a week is 20 minutes a day with one day off. I’d lay off timing completely and just emphasize a bit of reading each day. I honestly would take the timer away, not control it myself, and send the message that she is taking this much too rigidly. Maybe a discussion with your DD of what she thinks teachers goal is?

I absolutely agree with you on this but sometimes kids don't believe it if it comes from the parent, but they will coming from the teacher, as a PP mentioned. I think it's fine for her to talk with her teacher about it. I certainly would not get involved as a parent. And if the issue is related to anxiety, then going the counseling route would be appropriate.

[klwa]

I might go ahead & mention the issue to the teacher as a heads up so they're informed prior to the upcoming conference (whenever that is). With DS (high school) and to a lesser extent DD1 (middle school), I'm trying to let them be advocates for themselves, but there are still times I speak up. Generally I do it privately, without telling my child. And often I'll let the teacher know that I've asked my child to talk to them about the situation and to please let me know if they do.

[jent]

Thanks everyone, for your replies. It's helped me think this through. I had been pushing DD to talk with her teacher (this is what I ALWAYS have done for school issues in the past) but she hasn't yet. It turns out he has been having end-of-the-month conferences with each student and hers hasn't come up yet. We finally agreed this week that if her conference isn't assigned this week, she will ask to talk to him about the reading assignment. I will hold off on talking to the teacher unless it seems that it doesn't go well and he doesn't understand the issue. Tonight DD and I practiced what she would say (thanks for that tip!).

Hbridge hit the nail on the head- it's not the assignment itself, it's that she's set up these "rules" and somehow although she is spending far more than the 2 hours each week with her reading, she has decided that it only counts as far less. Some of you suggested that we take over timing but that's hard for many reasons (I'm still at work when she starts, she often works independently in her room, and most importantly, she argues with us when we try to arbitrate the time!)

To those who asked-- yes this is for a high school class. It seemed odd to me too- the last time she had reading logs was 3rd or 4th grade maybe?? I'm not sure the teacher's purpose, other than maybe trying to get teens to put down their phones for 120 minutes a week? The books are self-selected. Her first choice was a quick, easy read but the current one is a more thought provoking nonfiction, but one she wanted to read. The teacher does not collect these logs on a weekly basis, but is reviewing the logs at the end of month conference.

Also, I think I have found a counselor for her that specializes in teens with anxiety and OCD- hopefully will address some of the perfectionism issues!