experiences with cutting back on career

[California]

I really wish for you that you could go part time! Inflexible institutional thinking always bugs me. From an outside view point, it sounds like the demand is never ending, so the weekly cap is somewhat arbitrary. Its not set to meet every patient's needs for that week, or your needs as a surgeon and human being. It's just the maximum number of people (plus two layers of back ups) the administrators think can be squeezed in. Sure, they wouldn't be able to meet everyone's needs if they lowered your hours- but they aren't doing that now, either!

Not being able to go back is a tough one. How long do you think you could go without working and still return to your field? Would it be possible to test the water with a long vacation?

I have two friends who 'retired' early from successful engineering careers in their 40's. They had their kids later in life and both seem okay with their choice to stop working. I can tell that the loss of identity has been hard for both of them. One left her job seven years ago and one around five years ago. I've noticed that both of them still, to this day, when meeting another mom (including other SAHMs) will immediately bring up that their former job titles and companies, and feel like they need to explain why they became SAHMs. We're all busy moms so it's not like we don't get it! But, that said, I've never heard them express any regret over leaving.

Another friend of mine took a sabbatical from a very stressful job in mental health to test the waters on being a SAHM. She thought she would love it. She did not. Within two months, she'd joined one of those co-op style office suites and spent the sabbatical writing a book in her field. She's changed fields a bit as she realized she liked working, but she didn't like being in such a stressful position. In that way the sabbatical was really good for her. Is there any way you could do something similar and see how you like it? It might be that stepping away would give you a new perspective.

[AngB]

I was a teacher until I got pregnant and our first DD died after a nightmare pregnancy. I never went back, it was WAY too much stress, for too little pay, and teaching English ed I knew I'd always be bringing work home and *never* be caught up and that made everything so much worse, that feeling of always being behind even after working 12+ hours a day. (I know after a few more years I might have caught up and not been *as bad* but it just overwhelmed me personally. After a year or two and having DS, I realized that while I liked staying home I didn't want to be the only thing I do, so I went back to school but for ultrasound and while rough I have had 2 PRN jobs for 3-4 years now and love the PRN life.
One of my PRN jobs is a high risk ob clinic and we had like 10-12 MFM's when I started (across multiple hospitals/sites) and now are down to like...6. So many have burnt out (3 females, 1 male but he was older and retired.) The remaining doctors are getting their butts kicked because the workload is about the same but there are much fewer of them to go around. I am guessing that this shortage is across many specialties,etc. I know my ob's partner just retired in her early 40's to spend more time with her kids.

I am just getting in a spot where I am going to be working 1 regular day a week and then possibly help out one additional day when they really need me if it works with my schedule. One or two days a week is just right for me, I like that I am still in a work field and have options if something happened to DH or we divorced, but with 4 kids it's too much to juggle working much more than once or twice a week. There's always someone sick, or something going on with someone at school, or homework, or soccer or baseball or just whatever.

I really like the plan others suggested that you tell them you will work X days starting X. Give them plenty of time. When the other doctor starts seems like a nice opportunity. The alternative is retiring. I think working part time really is the best of both worlds although you seriously never have the "time" that you think you will, at least in my experience, it always gets eaten up quickly, it's still better than working FT.