experiences with cutting back on career

[echoesofspring]

I can't speak directly to your questions looking for folks who've stepped off the ladder b/c I have never entirely been on it, but I've had a pretty non traditional career path over the years as I've oscillated between working as a musician and a software dev. My heart lies in the music but the tech is for many obvious reasons more stable. While there were periods of my life (pre kids) where I was really devoted to my music career/business, I always kept one leg in tech work, everything from freelancing to contract work or part time, for which I was very grateful in times like 2008/09 where the economy tanked and it was harder to scrounge up music work.

Part of the problem is that I think I am really very good at what I do and there is a great need for it. Not many people can do it, even fewer want to.

One book you might like reading is Cal Newport's book "So Good They Can't Ignore You". It's a quick read, profiles of various folks who've been able to quit their traditional job and carve out new paths for themselves. In it he talks about 'Career Capital', which is really the skills you bring to the market - it sounds like you have quite a bit of capital and may have more leverage than you think in carving out what you want.

I went back to (tech) work full time about 6 years ago for many many reasons, one non obivious one was that in reading this book and thinking about my current situation I realized needed to replenish my "career capital". I was bored and frustrated with the freelance opportunities available to me with the skills and network I currently had. I'm actually on leave right now (burnout,etc.) until mid Oct. I'll probably go back to my position but I'm not sure for how much longer. The leave feels like it really only started once the kids went back to school a few weeks ago so I'm only a few weeks into in and all I can say is ....there's not enough time in the day to do everything I want to do! One of things I'm working on while I'm on leave is really figuring out our financial strategy, etc. to better understand what things would look like if I went back to part time, or even in a new direction entirely.

[basil]

Have you talked to your supervisor about this? If you are that good of a fit for your job, they will not want you to leave and will work with you. If you are burnt out, others taking your job will likely burn out too. Clearly, your position description needs to be re-written. Would it help getting an assistant for your position? Are there any parts of the job that could be passed off to
someone else to follow up on? Do other companies handle your job differently (I didn’t finish reading your whole thread so can’t remember if you said what your job is). Can you do this job at another company? Would another company be willing to work with reducing your hours or getting you help so you can do the more essential parts of the job without burning out? Would you feel less burnt out if you had help at home? Someone to clean? Help with meals and laundry? Some good friends who own their accounting firm pay a college-ages babysitter to drive their 4 kids to activities. That’s all she does and they said they don’t have to worry about their kids after school. It’s a huge help for them.

It's complicated. I'm a surgeon. The post-COVID volume is overwhelmingly crushing. I've been doing this close to 15 years and it just continues to get worse. I don't like clinic and my clinic is basically triple booked every day. (Someone literally just walked into my office asking for me to see someone, the only thing I can offer is to quadruple book my 7:30 spot later this week). My field is time sensitive so I can't just tell people to take next available - they'd be dead. My next available non urgent appointment is March 2022. There are only 2 other people in my specialty in the area who are also overwhelmed, and most patients can't leave the area due to insurance reasons. Surgery is great and it's fun and I love those days, but there is no surgery without clinic.

I'm an introvert and it's completely exhausting to see 50+ patients in a day, plus documentation, plus teaching. We are hopefully hiring someone to help but he can't start til August 2022. My boss is great and supportive, but there is little he can do (it's complicated, but he is trying his best). A lot of it is indirectly related to COVID's effect on the healthcare system. My boss is great and he's the reason I'm still here at all, but he's 64 and possibly on his way out as well. If he goes, I'm done.

We have a nanny and she's lovely, and I have no desire to spend more time doing laundry and housekeeping, but this is just unstainable. And I just want to spend more time with my kids.

[echoesofspring]

ugh, seeing your update I'm not sure my recs/experience are very applicable, sorry! That does sound really untenable.

[o_mom]

It's complicated. I'm a surgeon. The post-COVID volume is overwhelmingly crushing. I've been doing this close to 15 years and it just continues to get worse. I don't like clinic and my clinic is basically triple booked every day. (Someone literally just walked into my office asking for me to see someone, the only thing I can offer is to quadruple book my 7:30 spot later this week). My field is time sensitive so I can't just tell people to take next available - they'd be dead. My next available non urgent appointment is March 2022. There are only 2 other people in my specialty in the area who are also overwhelmed, and most patients can't leave the area due to insurance reasons. Surgery is great and it's fun and I love those days, but there is no surgery without clinic.

I'm an introvert and it's completely exhausting to see 50+ patients in a day, plus documentation, plus teaching. We are hopefully hiring someone to help but he can't start til August 2022. My boss is great and supportive, but there is little he can do (it's complicated, but he is trying his best). A lot of it is indirectly related to COVID's effect on the healthcare system. My boss is great and he's the reason I'm still here at all, but he's 64 and possibly on his way out as well. If he goes, I'm done.

We have a nanny and she's lovely, and I have no desire to spend more time doing laundry and housekeeping, but this is just unstainable. And I just want to spend more time with my kids.

How much of the clinic work can you offload onto other types of practitioners?

Almost all of the specialists we have seen in the last several years, I would say only about 1/3 of the appointments are with an MD, especially follow-up care.

DS had surgery last year - he saw the surgeon once for diagnosis and then the day of the surgery. Everything else was handled by the PAs, NPs, etc.

I think the biggest issue is that if you don't do something to cut back, you will end up leaving altogether. You need to stop seeing it as all or none, and yes, draw some firm limits and boundaries. It is hard to turn down helping people, but if you don't turn away some, you will have to turn them all away.

[mmsmom]

Not quite the same but former neighbor was an anesthesiologist and he wanted to go part time and it was not possible. The only path he felt he could take was teaching and he did not want to do that either so he ended up retiring all together. I don’t think most of us on the board will know your field well enough to know if there are part time or spin-off career options. Maybe your professional organization could shed some light on what others have done?

I really just wanted to say when I was home with my kids for 12 years I thought I so busy and couldn’t imagine how I could fit in a career. Now that I am working full time I can not tell you how I filled my days. Especially when the kids were in school. The gym was a big part but that was 1.5 hours of time. I think you find ways to fill the time.

You have obviously worked very hard and if you want to retire and just be at home then you should do it! You will not get this time back. I have a doctor friend who has not practiced in many years and she just started teaching a medicine class at the high school or our private school. It’s just 45 minutes a day plus planning time. She is enjoying it and says it gives her something to use her brain on!

[Kestrel]

That sounds really overwhelming. Do you have some kind of professional assistant? I just had a GYN surgery this spring, and the assistant I worked with (a medical assistant, I think) was lovely. The assistant did all of the OR scheduling, answered phone calls with questions, did the bulk of the pre-op, all the charting - basically everything the surgeon didn't need to be hands-on for. Assistant than did all the follow-up calls and scheduled the post-op appointment, she did the initial chat in the post-op so all I had to do was ask the MD the one question the assistant couldn't answer and have the surgeon check the incisions. Super-quick with the surgeon, but I still felt like I had all the time I needed because assistant took all the time I wanted to go over everything I asked about. And I knew that if I asked the assistant, and they couldn't answer, they'd find out! {Also - kind of funny, but assistant scheduled MD for a working lunch every day, and went over the morning's phone calls/questions with her then. Assistant told me that without it, MD would never eat and maybe wouldn't even get a chance to pee! }

Can you get out of teaching? Would you want to?

Can you try to cut back a little and see how it goes? If you schedule 40 hours (and work 60), maybe try scheduling 35 (and end up working 50)?

[basil]

MAs/NPs/PAs have a role, but in my field it takes a long time to train a PA/NP to be independent. It's probably a 6-12 month process...if you can find and hire one which we haven't been successful at doing. We struggle with space a LOT so hiring people is limited by this as well. It's been hard to retain MAs through COVID...I have a few stalwarts and a bunch more that are new/learning and a bunch of openings. All this is not to complain really...I love my staff, they are awesome and they work very very hard as well. But none of this is an easy simple fix

I'm not going to walk out tomorrow - I was able to negotiate a hefty vacation allowance but it's just not long term sustainable. I know you guys can't solve my career problems, there are really probably only a few in the country that truly could advise me on options, but I am just interested in what it feels like to drastically cut back after working so hard to be good at what you do. I worry that I'll feel disappointed in myself, or bored, or lazy, or ??? But I haven't had more than a week off in a row except for maternity leave since 2004 so what do I know?

[SnuggleBuggles]

MAs/NPs/PAs have a role, but in my field it takes a long time to train a PA/NP to be independent. It's probably a 6-12 month process...if you can find and hire one which we haven't been successful at doing. We struggle with space a LOT so hiring people is limited by this as well. It's been hard to retain MAs through COVID...I have a few stalwarts and a bunch more that are new/learning and a bunch of openings. All this is not to complain really...I love my staff, they are awesome and they work very very hard as well. But none of this is an easy simple fix

I'm not going to walk out tomorrow - I was able to negotiate a hefty vacation allowance but it's just not long term sustainable. I know you guys can't solve my career problems, there are really probably only a few in the country that truly could advise me on options, but I am just interested in what it feels like to drastically cut back after working so hard to be good at what you do. I worry that I'll feel disappointed in myself, or bored, or lazy, or ??? But I haven't had more than a week off in a row except for maternity leave since 2004 so what do I know?

I think once you got in the groove of being home, you’d be fine. It’s amazing how many ways you can feel productive even without a job.


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[jgenie]

I think once you got in the groove of being home, you’d be fine. It’s amazing how many ways you can feel productive even without a job.


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I’ve been a SAHM for 13 years. I have yet to run out of ways to fill my days.

[gatorsmom]

I'm not going to walk out tomorrow - I was able to negotiate a hefty vacation allowance but it's just not long term sustainable. I know you guys can't solve my career problems, there are really probably only a few in the country that truly could advise me on options, but I am just interested in what it feels like to drastically cut back after working so hard to be good at what you do. I worry that I'll feel disappointed in myself, or bored, or lazy, or ??? But I haven't had more than a week off in a row except for maternity leave since 2004 so what do I know?

My career wasn’t nearly as fulfilling or rewarding as saving lives through surgery, but when I quit I went through a phase of feeling like I was lazy and disappointed in myself for not working. I’m guessing you will indeed feel that for a period if you retire. Based on what you are saying, how much you believe in what you do and how important your work is for others, you will really need to want to stop, in order for it not to haunt you later. You will have to be at your rope’s end for you to quit without feeling regret. If I under correctly from my friend who was the GI doc, it’s very difficult to get back in once you quit. So going back isn’t an option.


All that said, I will always be thankful for the time with my kids. I’ve long thought that kids need their parents less as babies and toddlers but more as teenagers. That’s when the really big questions come up. And even thought they don’t need help constantly like they do as babies, when they do need help discussing something or thinking something through, the decisions they make can have MUCH bigger consequences if they get them wrong.

Ultimately, your kids will be fine, whether you retire or not. You have to decide what you really want. And you’ll have to decide what will mean more to you in 10-15 years.

It’s not an easy decision. If you don’t mind, I’ll offer prayers for you tonight that you find peace.