UPDATED: How do you handle school events that require

[bisous]

UPDATED in post 21.

DS2 signed up for a Strings class. It isn't an extracurricular--he's getting a grade! I got hit up immediately for $100 and I'm hearing word that it will go to performances and trips and that volunteer hours are also required. I'm SO confused as I just thought he'd have instruction for an hour a day! I've had some trouble communicating with the program director. There doesn't appear to be a website that explains these trips and concerts...also don't we have COVID protocols right now? (Same school just cancelled the Homecoming FB game because the opposing team had one case of COVID.) I'm not terribly upset about donating my time or money. I just need info! I've reached out to the teacher a few times and I just keep getting really vague info. I just wrote an email that requested a schedule of events, an explanation of the different orchestra groups on campus (which apparently we are part of?), explanation of the COVID protocols, what happens in the event of a cancellation, and what volunteering looks like. Is that too aggressive? Should I just pay up and shut up, lol. Is it normal to have so little information at the high school level. DS2 is CLUELESS about any of these things and the teacher has repeatedly asked for my commitments and we've had some going back and forth. I'm not used to dealing with high school teachers much at all so this feels strange to me. I feel completely disconnected!

WWYD?

[KpbS]

Can you email or call the school to schedule a time to talk on the phone to the teacher? Make a list of all of your questions and hopefully they will be answered. I agree it sounds confusing. I like to know in advance when I am obligated to have my child somewhere and when I need to arrange my schedule to be available to volunteer and for how long!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Your kiddo should bring that info home. Emailing the director in high school isn’t something I’d do. Most all of the info for programs goes to the kids primarily. Some loop in parents, some don’t. It’s a mixed bag but the expectation is that the kids will be the ones in on the communication. The volunteer stuff, event stuff, payment may just roll out to parents as needed.
You’d be better off connecting with other parents, especially ones that have older kids. That’s pretty much how I got by as a new parent at high school.

Eta- events here are happening even with Covid. And I’m grateful for it!

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[AnnieW625]

Your kiddo should bring that info home. Emailing the director in high school isn’t something I’d do. Most all of the info for programs goes to the kids primarily. Some loop in parents, some don’t. It’s a mixed bag but the expectation is that the kids will be the ones in on the communication. The volunteer stuff, event stuff, payment may just roll out to parents as needed.
You’d be better off connecting with other parents, especially ones that have older kids. That’s pretty much how I got by as a new parent at high school.

Eta- events here are happening even with Covid. And I’m grateful for it!

Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

Yes to this. And definitely connect with older student parents….that helped us a ton in elementary school and we are also doing our best to do it in high school and with DD2’s current elementary school. The band booster group at my high school was almost as big as the athletic booster club. All sports and activities have fees; even at public school. If the school district doesn’t have their own their bus they are most likely required to contract with a bus company and that may cost extra. Does the school pay extra for this teacher? There are rules for education foundations as well but especially for music programs all the funding and volunteer hours are needed. Arts often get overshadowed vs. STEM programs these days as well.


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[hbridge]

I would pay the money, remind the student that they need to communicate any information with you, and move on. HOWEVER, I would also keep in touch with another mother or two with students in the same class and share what your kids tell you (some kids are more likely to pass information than others). This may mean that things get missed, that would be on the student.

If I contacted the teacher, it would be to remind them that he needs to communicate directly with parents about things that they are needed for. Take a deep breath, roll with what comes, and know that you don't need to worry about this at this time.

Our school music program is currently shut down due to Covid protocols. However, strings using their own instruments is probably as safe as it can be !

[bisous]

The director is emailing me though! And DS2 can't drive so how can I commit MY time to something without a clear picture of what's going on? I figure if she wants my money she can give me the info! But that's why I wonder if I'm being pushy? How else does one get such info? Is it really strange to have parents ask?

Annie, not sure if you know but is actually illegal in CA to require me to pay for any activity that occurs at school. I know this isn't the case in other states. Even she acknowledges that the donation is voluntary. I was surprised by the request since every music activity I've done at school has been paid for by school and PTA funds before but I'm not against paying. I just feel like that added contribution requires a little more work on their part to let me know what I'm paying for?

[bisous]

Your kiddo should bring that info home. Emailing the director in high school isn’t something I’d do. Most all of the info for programs goes to the kids primarily. Some loop in parents, some don’t. It’s a mixed bag but the expectation is that the kids will be the ones in on the communication. The volunteer stuff, event stuff, payment may just roll out to parents as needed.
You’d be better off connecting with other parents, especially ones that have older kids. That’s pretty much how I got by as a new parent at high school.

Eta- events here are happening even with Covid. And I’m grateful for it!

Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

I have met zero parents at the high school since DS1 started 3 years ago! I wouldn't mind being connected but can't figure out how to do it? Maybe because my kids attend high school in another district? My SIL had her daughter in the program last year and was super confused by the whole thing.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have met zero parents at the high school since DS1 started 3 years ago! I wouldn't mind being connected but can't figure out how to do it? Maybe because my kids attend high school in another district? My SIL had her daughter in the program last year and was super confused by the whole thing.

Definitely doesn't help to be attending an out of district school (and I know when you were choosing schools that was one of the cons back in the day). But, you will meet people now through volunteering. Is there social media for the school and/or activity? For example, our marching band has a very active Facebook page. Fantastic place to ask questions and learn stuff. You could always start one if there isn't one. "Parents of..." Sometimes if you see a need, you need to fill it. Or just accept that you might not have access to info you want/need.

If the director has emailed you then it is ok to ask some questions but be thoughtful with what you ask. Your list was really, really long. "requested a schedule of events, an explanation of the different orchestra groups on campus (which apparently we are part of?), explanation of the COVID protocols, what happens in the event of a cancellation, and what volunteering looks like."

Those are obviously all good to know but couldn't you look up the district's policy on covid protocols on their website? Does it really matter what happens if something is cancelled? I would assume you'd have the notice needed to pick your kiddo up at the right time if something gets cancelled last minute. Everything is still in a state of flux with policies and procedures here. Covid cancellations happen. We get emails, Facebook messages and Remind App notifications. Mostly though the kids know before the parents and just rely the info.

Some teachers and activity directors are just better at the communication piece than others. We've had some frustrating coaches over the years but the kids weren't frustrated and that's what is key.

[AnnieW625]

I have met zero parents at the high school since DS1 started 3 years ago! I wouldn't mind being connected but can't figure out how to do it? Maybe because my kids attend high school in another district? My SIL had her daughter in the program last year and was super confused by the whole thing.

Go to a meeting…..even an online meeting. You don’t know anyone from your church who has a kid who goes there? We still don’t know a ton of people at either school but just popping into a zoom meeting occasionally helps with recognition and there are often ideas on how to get involved.


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[bisous]

Definitely doesn't help to be attending an out of district school (and I know when you were choosing schools that was one of the cons back in the day). But, you will meet people now through volunteering. Is there social media for the school and/or activity? For example, our marching band has a very active Facebook page. Fantastic place to ask questions and learn stuff. You could always start one if there isn't one. "Parents of..." Sometimes if you see a need, you need to fill it. Or just accept that you might not have access to info you want/need.

If the director has emailed you then it is ok to ask some questions but be thoughtful with what you ask. Your list was really, really long. "requested a schedule of events, an explanation of the different orchestra groups on campus (which apparently we are part of?), explanation of the COVID protocols, what happens in the event of a cancellation, and what volunteering looks like."

Those are obviously all good to know but couldn't you look up the district's policy on covid protocols on their website? Does it really matter what happens if something is cancelled? I would assume you'd have the notice needed to pick your kiddo up at the right time if something gets cancelled last minute. Everything is still in a state of flux with policies and procedures here. Covid cancellations happen. We get emails, Facebook messages and Remind App notifications. Mostly though the kids know before the parents and just rely the info.

Some teachers and activity directors are just better at the communication piece than others. We've had some frustrating coaches over the years but the kids weren't frustrated and that's what is key.

Solid advice and great points. I got riled up and self-righteous wanting information but you're responses are spot on for several of my issues!