1st time hosting Thanksgiving (out of town family staying all week)

[umsh]

This is our first year to host Thanksgiving. All of our extended family recently moved out of state, so they're also all coming to stay with us the Monday of Thanksgiving week (so that's 8 additional people at our house, plus a few at my parents' place). It'll be a total of 20 people (14 of us at our house for the week). Since we had a baby a few months before the pandemic, we really haven't hosted or had anyone over for more than 2 years now...so I'm having serious anxiety. I need help planning the actual Thanksgiving meal as well all the meals for the week. I have a lot of anxiety about cooking in front of others and am probably the least skilled or creative cook in the family.

The good thing is I don't have to actually make turkey because I have no idea how to lol. My cousins have said they'll help with Thanksgiving sides, but my kitchen isn't huge, and I'm having trouble envisioning how we're all going to work around each other. I'd love ideas of as many things as I can make ahead of time for Thanksgiving day and the other days.

I am searching through the forum for recipe ideas shared here in the past. But I'd still love any general tips or favorite recipes. I'm thinking I'll do roast chicken, cranberry bread, some sort of potatoes, veggies of some sort (maybe seasonal roast veggies)...what else should we do? What could be done completely or even partially in advance (like the weekend before everyone gets here)? Cousins have already offered to do mac and cheese and cornbread salad.

Thank you for helping a reluctant cook!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think you will need to get creative with your space- like spread out to the dining room table- to do prep work.

The crockpot can be your friend. Think pulled pork in the crockpot. Chili and fixings. Taco bar (chicken plus Frontera brand taco sauce packets are great- they sell them at places like Target and Whole Foods). Baked potato bar (bacon, cheese, sour cream, leftover pulled pork, tacos, chili...). Buy some salad kits and other sides. Easy. Take out certainly works too- pizza is a great go to.

Start thinking of any veggies you can prep ahead of time- like dice up onions and freeze them. Think about the recipe components and what you can do ahead of time. Even if it is a simple task, getting it done is a help.

Plan out your table now. Do you need to secure extra tables or chairs? Good time to start now. How about tablecloths, placemats, plates, glassware, silverware? Consider some disposables in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. Though some families enjoy hanging in the kitchen with a glass of wine or beer after dinner and tackling the mess.

Do you have enough containers for leftovers? That is our big struggle at my IL's on Thanksgiving.

Don't forget snacks for grazing either pre or post dinner on the big day. I'm always so busy cooking that that task falls by the wayside if I don't plan.

Websites like Real Simple usually have great planning checklists.

[mikala]

I'd consider outsourcing parts of the Thanksgiving meal or other meals for that many people. Big Costco lasagna, garlic bread, bagged salad for a meal, etc. If you have an extra fridge or deep freezer make space there now for guest food in a few weeks. Instant Pots or Slow Cookers could be really helpful for day-of as you try to cook and keep things the right temperatures.

[hellokitty]

OMG, did they volunteer you to do this? I'm having anxiety just reading this and I am an experienced cook. However, hosting people for that many days, with a toddler underfoot and having to feed them 3 meals a day?!? I hope that they will help you with some of the cost of food... I like mikala's idea of outsourcing a lot of premade stuff that you can throw together for a meal to make your life easier. Use disposable plates and silverware or you will be doing dishes until the end of your life! I really hope that they help you more than just bringing a casserole!!!

[Liziz]

That's a lot!!!

My family is very spread out, and because it's always been hardest for my family to travel (only ones with kids, DH with an inflexible work schedule, etc.) I'm often the one hosting - the main meal and guests for many days surrounding it. For the days leading up to the holiday meal, I stick with only 1 "served" meal a day -- dinner. I try to plan things I can do in advance too.

Breakfast: I make sure I have a few popular cereals, and stock up on English muffins, bagels, butter, cream cheese, yogurt, and fruit. I tell people in advance that I won't be serving a breakfast, show them where things are, make sure the toaster is out on the counter, and tell them to serve themselves whenever they wake up/get hungry.

Lunch: Occasionally I'll make a big batch of chicken salad (I like this recipe and it tastes better a day or two after it's made anyways: https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-yog...e-kitchn-28363) -- but you can buy delicious chicken salad at the store too! and I stock up on lunch meat, sandwich bread, crackers/chips, etc. Around lunch time I'll often pull food out and set out a stack of plates, but then invite everyone to just come serve themselves. I'll also cut up a bunch of vegetables in advance to throw out for snacking (again, this is an easy thing to buy instead of do yourself, though!). After the first couple days, if we have leftovers from prior meals, I'll often pull out and warm those up as well.

Dinner: Here's a few meals I've used in the past. They're things that are either easy to make in advance, or something fairly simple that can be thrown in a slow cooker in the morning:
*Lasagna - super easy to pre-make and freeze, also super easy to buy from the store and skip the making it step! If you don't want to use store-bought but need easier, Baked Ziti is way easier to make and also freezes great: https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/easy-ziti-bake/ (you can easily add meat to the sauce if you prefer)
*Enchiladas - Make a couple pans and freeze. I'll just serve it with beans (in this case usually just refried ones from a can!) and rice, tortilla chips and salsa, and maybe guac if I'm feeling fancy. (For someone who doesn't like cooking, this recipe is super easy, quicker than most, and everyone always loves it: https://everydayannie.com/2007/11/19/benchiladas/)
*Crockpot Taco Soup - https://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2...ot-recipe.html So easy, super filling, can be a meal in and of itself. I'll often also have cut up avocado, but it's not essential. My kids love it when I have Fritos or Tortilla chips, but also not essential!
*Spaghetti and Meatballs - meatballs can be store bought, or made in advance and frozen. Sauce also can either be store bought or pre-made and frozen. The day you're going to serve it, pop the meatballs and sauce together in a slow cooker several hours before dinner to heat through. Then you just need to make pasta and serve. I usually do a salad as well, and maybe some bread -- again, save time by buying premade salad mixes or salad can be made in advance.
*Salsa Chicken and Black Bean Soup - https://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2...bean-soup.html Another one like the Taco Soup that's easy to do in advance, make in large quantities, etc.
*Crockpot Tuscan Pork and Beans - https://thewanderlustkitchen.com/cro...ork-and-beans/
*Chicken and Wild Rice Stew - this recipe was a huge hit with my guests a few weeks ago.....I had a bunch and literally served it to them for dinner then 3 straight days of lunches and no one complained! Just serve with bread!
*Burgers - can easily pre-make, or can buy them, serve with store-bought potato salad/macaroni salad, baked beans, salad
*Chicken on the grill (if you live somewhere you're still grilling!) - you can marinate it in advance (even well in advance, just freeze it in the marinade and let it thaw in the fridge a day before cooking)
*Order pizza!

Thanksgiving itself:
*Consider your oven space. I literally write out a schedule and often pick the pans I'll need to put in the oven and test to see how things fit. If you're roasting chicken (or likely multiple chickens, with the # of people?), that will take up a lot of the space. However, the chickens can/need to rest after coming out of the oven - so cook them earlier, take them out, tent with foil, and then pop the rest of your sides that need to be heated up into the oven at that point. The chicken will be fine to sit for a bit.
*Potatoes - you can easily make mashed potatoes early in the day and pop them in a slow cooker on low/warm.
*Roasted veggies sound delicious but will also take up a lot of oven space for that many people. If you have more than one slow cooker, I've made this corn recipe in advance and re-heated in the slow cooker: https://www.melskitchencafe.com/creamy-confetti-corn/ If you want it completely done in advance, this green bean recipe is amazing, and I think it tastes better on day 2 -- https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/cr...een-bean-salad
*Bread or rolls can either be store bought, or take-and-bake type things baked earlier in the day.
*Outsource desserts - it's easy for others to bring desserts, either store-bought or homemade. Ask several people to bring a pie and there will be plenty for all. If outsourcing wont' work, buy them so you don't have to mess with making them. (ideally, send one of those relatives staying with you out to purchase them the day before!)
*Most dishes that will be baked in the oven can be made several hours in advance, even the day before, and just baked before eating (sweet potatoes, stuffing/dressing, etc.) - just remember to pull them out of the fridge a few hours prior so they start to loose the chill or they'll take too long to heat!
*For guests actually staying in my house, I've started outsourcing full dishes. I tell them what I'd like them to make (or ask them, if I don't know what kinds of things they like to do), ask them in advance to give me a list of ingredients they'll need, and then I give them a specific time (either on Thanksgiving or the day prior) that is their time in the kitchen to cook. This helps avoid too many people crowding the kitchen at any one point. Depending on your relatives this may be more hassle than it's worth, but I have several who enjoy cooking and want to do it, so I've found it works best to assign something specific to them.
*Look through your recipes, often you can pre-chop veggies, pre-measure ingredients, etc. the day before, so it's easier to pull together.
*One last thought -- it sounds like your parents are still close by? If that's the case, people can cook some of the dishes at their house and bring them over right before the gathering. Frees up kitchen space and oven space. For several years recently, my Mom has hosted a Thanksgiving dinner for the extended family, but she has my Aunt cook the turkey at her house. No one in our family cares about carving a bird at the table, so my Aunt cooks it, carves it and puts it on a platter, and brings it over right before dinner. It works fabulously! If someone in the family is willing to either cook a turkey or roast those chickens you're planning at your parents' house, that would save you some major effort and will still produce a classy meal.


Planning:
*I literally sit down and write out every single step of every single day. For Thanksgiving, I write out a very detailed schedule -- down to things like "Start dressing bird" "preheat oven" "bird in oven" "pull stuffing out of fridge to come to room temp before baking" -- with specific times. There's so much going on that I get incredibly stressed if I try to keep it all in my head, and always end up forgetting something. I print it out and have it easily viewable all day. I pull out all the serving dishes I plan to use and label them (post-its) with what they'll be used for, so I'm not scrambling last minute hoping to find the right dish for everything.
*Paper plates/disposable dishes! Will save tons of energy. Walmart usually sells nice extra-large Thanksgiving themed plates I've been liking the past few years.

I know that I just wrote you a novel -- I hope some of it is helpful! Good luck. I hope you're able to find time to have fun and enjoy your family, even with all the craziness!

[trentsmom]

Lots of great ideas here already! I only cook Thanksgiving for a few people, and even then I make most things ahead of time. We decided a few years ago that the side dishes were much more interesting than the main meat, so I started getting already cooked ham and turkey breast from Costco. Those are sliced the day before. Do you have a grill? That's a great place to cook chickens or a turkey breast. I'm sure there are recipes for other sides made on the grill, too.

Definitely write out everything that needs to be done. That way anyone who wants to help can consult that.

Ask those coming (or maybe a select few), "What dish do we need to have in order for it to feel like Thanksgiving to you?" I ask this question for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not that their chosen dish will be made, but it's a good way to focus the menu. DS1 dislikes Tgiving foods, so I have added a relish tray with different types of pickles and olives.

Good luck!

[bisous]

Liziz you're amazing! I'm printing out your response there for any future hosting that I need to do!

[umsh]

Thank you everyone for all these amazing ideas! Forgive me for the late reply...as usual, crazy things happen all at once...including I just found out I got a job and I'm going back to work after all these years at home...great timing! lol

I feel so much more at ease reading through what you all have suggested. I'm gonna reply individually and then I'll be back with my menu plan and more questions.

[umsh]

Lots of great ideas here already! I only cook Thanksgiving for a few people, and even then I make most things ahead of time. We decided a few years ago that the side dishes were much more interesting than the main meat, so I started getting already cooked ham and turkey breast from Costco. Those are sliced the day before. Do you have a grill? That's a great place to cook chickens or a turkey breast. I'm sure there are recipes for other sides made on the grill, too.

You're right, and we feel that way too - everyone is more interested in the sides than the meat. Although the meat is definitely a necessity. How much in advance do you make things? Since I've never hosted before, I've always made my 2 or 3 items the day of. We do have a grill but can't guarantee the weather will cooperate for grilling.

Definitely write out everything that needs to be done. That way anyone who wants to help can consult that.

Ask those coming (or maybe a select few), "What dish do we need to have in order for it to feel like Thanksgiving to you?" I ask this question for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not that their chosen dish will be made, but it's a good way to focus the menu. DS1 dislikes Tgiving foods, so I have added a relish tray with different types of pickles and olives.

Good luck!

Getting my Google spreadsheet ready soon! And this is brilliant to ask everyone what they'd like. I know my cousins will want to make some of their favorite side dishes, but I think I still need to plan to make the majority of the items.

[umsh]

That's a lot!!!

My family is very spread out, and because it's always been hardest for my family to travel (only ones with kids, DH with an inflexible work schedule, etc.) I'm often the one hosting - the main meal and guests for many days surrounding it. For the days leading up to the holiday meal, I stick with only 1 "served" meal a day -- dinner. I try to plan things I can do in advance too.

Breakfast: I make sure I have a few popular cereals, and stock up on English muffins, bagels, butter, cream cheese, yogurt, and fruit. I tell people in advance that I won't be serving a breakfast, show them where things are, make sure the toaster is out on the counter, and tell them to serve themselves whenever they wake up/get hungry.

Lunch: Occasionally I'll make a big batch of chicken salad (I like this recipe and it tastes better a day or two after it's made anyways: https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-yog...e-kitchn-28363) -- but you can buy delicious chicken salad at the store too! and I stock up on lunch meat, sandwich bread, crackers/chips, etc. Around lunch time I'll often pull food out and set out a stack of plates, but then invite everyone to just come serve themselves. I'll also cut up a bunch of vegetables in advance to throw out for snacking (again, this is an easy thing to buy instead of do yourself, though!). After the first couple days, if we have leftovers from prior meals, I'll often pull out and warm those up as well.

Dinner: Here's a few meals I've used in the past. They're things that are either easy to make in advance, or something fairly simple that can be thrown in a slow cooker in the morning:
*Lasagna - super easy to pre-make and freeze, also super easy to buy from the store and skip the making it step! If you don't want to use store-bought but need easier, Baked Ziti is way easier to make and also freezes great: https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/easy-ziti-bake/ (you can easily add meat to the sauce if you prefer)
*Enchiladas - Make a couple pans and freeze. I'll just serve it with beans (in this case usually just refried ones from a can!) and rice, tortilla chips and salsa, and maybe guac if I'm feeling fancy. (For someone who doesn't like cooking, this recipe is super easy, quicker than most, and everyone always loves it: https://everydayannie.com/2007/11/19/benchiladas/)
*Crockpot Taco Soup - https://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2...ot-recipe.html So easy, super filling, can be a meal in and of itself. I'll often also have cut up avocado, but it's not essential. My kids love it when I have Fritos or Tortilla chips, but also not essential!
*Spaghetti and Meatballs - meatballs can be store bought, or made in advance and frozen. Sauce also can either be store bought or pre-made and frozen. The day you're going to serve it, pop the meatballs and sauce together in a slow cooker several hours before dinner to heat through. Then you just need to make pasta and serve. I usually do a salad as well, and maybe some bread -- again, save time by buying premade salad mixes or salad can be made in advance.
*Salsa Chicken and Black Bean Soup - https://www.ayearofslowcooking.com/2...bean-soup.html Another one like the Taco Soup that's easy to do in advance, make in large quantities, etc.
*Crockpot Tuscan Pork and Beans - https://thewanderlustkitchen.com/cro...ork-and-beans/
*Chicken and Wild Rice Stew - this recipe was a huge hit with my guests a few weeks ago.....I had a bunch and literally served it to them for dinner then 3 straight days of lunches and no one complained! Just serve with bread!
*Burgers - can easily pre-make, or can buy them, serve with store-bought potato salad/macaroni salad, baked beans, salad
*Chicken on the grill (if you live somewhere you're still grilling!) - you can marinate it in advance (even well in advance, just freeze it in the marinade and let it thaw in the fridge a day before cooking)
*Order pizza!

Thank you sooooo much! This is so incredibly helpful to have all this written out in this level of detail and with all the links. (btw the chicken and wild rice soup link is missing, can you please post that?). These are all great ideas. You're right, I don't need to kill myself cooking every single meal every day. I love your breakfast idea and think I will definitely do that. I have a favorite chicken salad recipe too (https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/...recipe-2014291), but I'll have to try yours. Thank you for all the dinner ideas. As for grilling, it's hit or miss how cold it'll be on Thanksgiving, it's possible, but I can't count on it.

Thanksgiving itself:
*Consider your oven space. I literally write out a schedule and often pick the pans I'll need to put in the oven and test to see how things fit. If you're roasting chicken (or likely multiple chickens, with the # of people?), that will take up a lot of the space. However, the chickens can/need to rest after coming out of the oven - so cook them earlier, take them out, tent with foil, and then pop the rest of your sides that need to be heated up into the oven at that point. The chicken will be fine to sit for a bit.

So I only have a single oven, 2 9 x 13 dishes can fit side by side on each rack (and I do happen to own 4 dishes that size), but I've never tried cooking with all 4 in there at once. I'm not sure if things will cook evenly like that, guess I will have to try or look that up. My mom has a double oven, so maybe she could do all the chickens.

*Potatoes - you can easily make mashed potatoes early in the day and pop them in a slow cooker on low/warm.

Great idea, do you have a recipe you like? Could I make it earlier in and keep it in the fridge and reheat? Or that would affect the texture too much?

*Roasted veggies sound delicious but will also take up a lot of oven space for that many people. If you have more than one slow cooker, I've made this corn recipe in advance and re-heated in the slow cooker: https://www.melskitchencafe.com/creamy-confetti-corn/ If you want it completely done in advance, this green bean recipe is amazing, and I think it tastes better on day 2 -- https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/cr...een-bean-salad

Thank you! Everything I've made from Mel's kitchen cafe has been good so this looks like a good option. And I love the idea of something made completely in advance so I'll try the green bean recipe too. You're right, roast veggies probably won't work bc of oven space...our family alone eats an entire half sheet pan in one sitting.

*Bread or rolls can either be store bought, or take-and-bake type things baked earlier in the day.
*Outsource desserts - it's easy for others to bring desserts, either store-bought or homemade. Ask several people to bring a pie and there will be plenty for all. If outsourcing wont' work, buy them so you don't have to mess with making them. (ideally, send one of those relatives staying with you out to purchase them the day before!)
*Most dishes that will be baked in the oven can be made several hours in advance, even the day before, and just baked before eating (sweet potatoes, stuffing/dressing, etc.) - just remember to pull them out of the fridge a few hours prior so they start to loose the chill or they'll take too long to heat!

Definitely buying rolls for sure. I love to make desserts but maybe I'll pass that on to my girls and they can do it the day before. And good point, if that feels too stressful, I can always buy them.
Do you think I could make things like the sweet potatoes and stuffing or other oven dishes as early as Monday before guests come?

*For guests actually staying in my house, I've started outsourcing full dishes. I tell them what I'd like them to make (or ask them, if I don't know what kinds of things they like to do), ask them in advance to give me a list of ingredients they'll need, and then I give them a specific time (either on Thanksgiving or the day prior) that is their time in the kitchen to cook. This helps avoid too many people crowding the kitchen at any one point. Depending on your relatives this may be more hassle than it's worth, but I have several who enjoy cooking and want to do it, so I've found it works best to assign something specific to them.

They all love to cook, and I know they'll make something...it's me who wants avoid chaos in the kitchen with too many people trying to work around each other. Deciding the actual times they can have the kitchen is brilliant.

*Look through your recipes, often you can pre-chop veggies, pre-measure ingredients, etc. the day before, so it's easier to pull together.
*One last thought -- it sounds like your parents are still close by? If that's the case, people can cook some of the dishes at their house and bring them over right before the gathering. Frees up kitchen space and oven space. For several years recently, my Mom has hosted a Thanksgiving dinner for the extended family, but she has my Aunt cook the turkey at her house. No one in our family cares about carving a bird at the table, so my Aunt cooks it, carves it and puts it on a platter, and brings it over right before dinner. It works fabulously! If someone in the family is willing to either cook a turkey or roast those chickens you're planning at your parents' house, that would save you some major effort and will still produce a classy meal.

Definitely will plan to do all the prep work on Wednesday and write that down as part of my plan.
And yes, I think the doing the chickens at my parents' house will be a huge help. My mom is asking what they should do so, so this is the ideal item for my parents to handle.

Planning:
*I literally sit down and write out every single step of every single day. For Thanksgiving, I write out a very detailed schedule -- down to things like "Start dressing bird" "preheat oven" "bird in oven" "pull stuffing out of fridge to come to room temp before baking" -- with specific times. There's so much going on that I get incredibly stressed if I try to keep it all in my head, and always end up forgetting something. I print it out and have it easily viewable all day. I pull out all the serving dishes I plan to use and label them (post-its) with what they'll be used for, so I'm not scrambling last minute hoping to find the right dish for everything.
*Paper plates/disposable dishes! Will save tons of energy. Walmart usually sells nice extra-large Thanksgiving themed plates I've been liking the past few years.

Definitely gonna do this. I like your idea of writing it down to the exact detail along with times.
And I wouldn't have thought about nicer disposables! You're right, that will help a lot and free up the dishwasher for at least some of the serving dishes.

I know that I just wrote you a novel -- I hope some of it is helpful! Good luck. I hope you're able to find time to have fun and enjoy your family, even with all the craziness!

Thank you so so much for taking the time to write it all out. I can't tell you how much this helps to alleviate some of the anxiety I'm feeling. Thank you for sharing all the recipe links too! I decided from this week I'm going to start making one recipe per week of the things I want to serve while everyone is here to see if I need to tweak anything. I need to start writing out my overall plan soon too.