Wording help with teacher email

[daisyd]

DS1 who is a diligent student got his eighth grade science essay (based on a lab observation) back with a 0 for a grade. He says he does not know what he did wrong. He says that the whole essay was highlighted and the teacher feedback was "that it made no sense". I'm not sure what actually happened. I asked DS to clarify, find out how he can improve his grade etc. He says he asked and was not given any feed back. He was very down and out yesterday because the essay affects his grade and he is unsure what he needs to fix.

We don't have parent-teacher conferences for his grade unless there is an identified problem. I don't really know what happened and I'd like to write to the teacher to find out how we can support DS. Can someone help me with wording such an email? TIA

[twowhat?]

For middle school, I think I woulds start by having DS draft an email to the teacher, with you copied (at our MS, students must always copy parents on email communications and by far the teacher's preference is for the student to initiate these communications). Something like "Dear Ms/Mr. Teacher, I would like to learn more about how I can improve my science essay writing. I spent a lot of time working on it and I see that you didn't think it made sense. Can you give me more specific feedback on what parts didn't make sense? It's possible that I misunderstood the assignment and would like a chance to fix it, if possible."

eta: I'd be miffed about a whole essay highlighted and a comment that "it didn't make sense" with no other offer of explanation from the teacher. My kids would be super upset about it too so I feel bad for your DS. My approach is to give the teacher a chance to give a better answer (hopefully), knowing that this is still a tough school year for everyone.

[KpbS]

Yikes

Our lab reports have a very strict rubric that has to be followed. There are specific categories the kids have to write regarding, materials, procedure, results, etc. No personal pronouns are allowed etc. Does he have a guide or rubric?

I would contact the teacher and ask for one if he does not have any guidance and ask if he can redo and resubmit the assignment. The goal is to learn after all.

[daisyd]

Thanks for weighing in with wording help. I'll check about a rubric.

And most of all thanks for understanding. I was feeling a little helpless myself.

[JustMe]

Ugh, I am so sorry his happened. I agree an email is a good step. I do think it would be great if your ds signed the email and you were cc'd. This is an extreme case (a 0 a terrible explanation) so if you want to co-sign the email, I wouldnt think that was bad, but I would imagine your ds sends the first email and then you can respond if the reply is not helpful.

What to say? Hmmn, "I am very concerned that I did so poorly on this essay, I worked very hard on it and do not know what I did wrong. I read your comments, but they do not tell me what I did wrong or what I can do better. Was there any rubric used for this assignment? It would help me to look at something like that to see what I need to do differently."

After writing this, I see that this is not the way an 8th grader would write, so maybe it makes sense for you to co-sign. I really do like the idea of asking for a rubric. Anyway, hopefully someone can build on this suggestion of what to write. Also, dont know if your school ever offers make-ups or re-dos, but ours does ad naseum.

ETA: What twowhat? suggested is great! Didnt see that when I wrote mine.

I really hope the teacher responds with something reasonable. I know teachers are under a great deal of stress, but children should not be treated like this.

[PunkyBoo]

For middle school, I think I woulds start by having DS draft an email to the teacher, with you copied (at our MS, students must always copy parents on email communications and by far the teacher's preference is for the student to initiate these communications). Something like "Dear Ms/Mr. Teacher, I would like to learn more about how I can improve my science essay writing. I spent a lot of time working on it and I see that you didn't think it made sense. Can you give me more specific feedback on what parts didn't make sense? It's possible that I misunderstood the assignment and would like a chance to fix it, if possible."

eta: I'd be miffed about a whole essay highlighted and a comment that "it didn't make sense" with no other offer of explanation from the teacher. My kids would be super upset about it too so I feel bad for your DS. My approach is to give the teacher a chance to give a better answer (hopefully), knowing that this is still a tough school year for everyone.

I've been there. I'm sorry. ITA with quoted advice from twowhat.

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[bisous]

Any chance the teacher thinks it is plagiarized? I mean, it doesn't fit with her description but 0%...that's...brutal and weird! The only experience I have with 0 credit is either not turning an assignment in or (one million years ago when I was in 8th grade) I got dinged for what my teacher thought was a plagiarized essay (that I actually wrote).

[daisyd]

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences.

I was thinking to ask to see the essay so I could also help DS. The first thought I'd had when DS told me was whether it had seemed disorganized and hard to understand. I hadn't thought of plagiarism. I'll check.

Bisous, I'm so sorry that you had that bad experience with the teacher thinking that you had plagiarized an essay. Ugh.

[Liziz]

Wow, that is terrible. I don't fall into the "everyone deserves a medal" train of thought, but even a terribly written paper, if written by the student, and turned in on time, deserves SOME points - I can't even really fathom how a 0 is acceptable.

You've gotten great advice already. It's frustrating to hear he's already asked the teacher in person and didn't get a good reply (but good for him for having the confidence to do that!). I agree that your DS sending an email with you cc'ed is the next best step at that age. I strongly agree with asking about a rubric -- I've seen rubrics used on all writing assignments my DD has done since 3rd grade - some even in 2nd grade -- I would absolutely expect that 8th grade science uses one and isn't being graded off the cuff. I would first look through the syllabus, if there is one for this class, with your DS first to make sure there wasn't a general one given initially.

Although a different situation, my DD recently had less-severe grade issues too (I posted about it here, I think!) and the other thing I coached her on is that when discussing with the teacher, keep the focus on how she wants to understand so she can improve (rather than questioning the teacher on the fairness of the test, grading, etc.), but also being direct in asking for an opportunity to do something to improve the grade.

Keep us posted on what happens, OP, and hugs to your DS.

[ett]

I'm so sorry this happened to your son and I hope it can get resolved. Giving a score of zero with an unhelpful comment that it makes no sense is just awful! How will the students learn anything?

PP's have given good advice. If you can't get this resolved directly with the guidance counselor, I would contact the guidance counselor.