What have been the most effective things you've done as a parent?

[smilequeen]

I've made plenty of mistakes, but my boys are hardworking, kind, good kids, so I guess I did plenty right too, but it would be difficult to pinpoint exactly what.

So right now, I'd say being able to present a sense of calm, not being helicopter parents (even though, maybe deep down I worried about things that were ridiculous, I let my kids do them without knowing that).

I only say that now because we took our oldest to a seminar for teens and parents about this whole college process. One of the sessions was about how parents can stay calm during the process and our son told us "You two don't need that session". So, he sees us as calm and laid back (even if we aren't always so calm inside).

And superficially Covid made me really glad we chose the schools we did for them.

[NCGrandma]

I only say that now because we took our oldest to a seminar for teens and parents about this whole college process. One of the sessions was about how parents can stay calm during the process and our son told us "You two don't need that session". So, he sees us as calm and laid back (even if we aren't always so.

What a gratifying story! Good reminder that even though we may have concerns and anxieties, they don’t always need to be obvious to kids, especially teens.


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[doberbrat]

Therapy for me so I didn’t let how I was raised influence my parenting. I think we’re doing ok as DS spends time with us

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Time will still tell for me but I feel like so far its prioritizing reading. Making trips to libraries the highlight of our day. Not scheduling any activities - just letting them be kids playing at the playground daily after school.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Push them to be involved in activities but also stay mindful of downtime. In high school, 1 sport and 1 club/activity per season are a must. The choice of which is up to them. Pre-high school, we tried to also have 2 activities running at any time as well.
Eta- lots of family game time.

[pinkmomagain]

Our kids enjoy spending time with us together as a family. We have alot of laughs and good times together. And I'm proud of that.
Maybe because when they were younger we got a weekend house and spent time together there away from other distractions. Maybe because we're a bit on the introverted side. Maybe because we were more laid back parents who always seem to keep up with the times and share some of their interests.

Somehow they are all good smart kids. I'm not sure how much my parenting had to do with that. I'll let them take some of the credit.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

- therapy (for my daughter's selective mutism) - therapist was great adovcate for getting 504 set up
-medication (for same)
- not being an old-school parent who is harsh disciplinarian with strict rules, trusting kids when they have issues, acknowledging their struggles instead of just punishing them and assuming they are up to no good

[hbridge]

UGH!! I don't know that we did anything right! DC is a high school upper classman and I still feel like we made SO MANY mistakes. Neurodiverse kids are tough to raise. DC is a good kid with a heart of gold and a ton of academic drive, but I think those are internal, nothing we did...

[bisous]

UGH!! I don't know that we did anything right! DC is a high school upper classman and I still feel like we made SO MANY mistakes. Neurodiverse kids are tough to raise. DC is a good kid with a heart of gold and a ton of academic drive, but I think those are internal, nothing we did...

I know one thing you did. Just by reading your posts I can tell that you’ve been awesome at never giving up. Some kids, especially kids who aren’t NT (I have a few of those!) have tricky paths to navigate. It may seem like nothing is working but just giving a loving place to be at home is HUGE. Think how your DC would be with less determination, less unconditional love!

[gatorsmom]

UGH!! I don't know that we did anything right! DC is a high school upper classman and I still feel like we made SO MANY mistakes. Neurodiverse kids are tough to raise. DC is a good kid with a heart of gold and a ton of academic drive, but I think those are internal, nothing we did...

With as many times as you encouraged me and gave me help, I can understand where your dc got his heart of gold…

You taught him perseverance and diligence. By your example, you taught him that if he can’t solve a problem one way, he should keep searching for another way. Those skills will be so valuable for our non-NT kids as they will struggle to find ways up the many hills in their future lives.

[AnnieW625]

Honestly when I first read this post yesterday it kind of rubbed me the wrong way and I wasn’t going to respond. I just felt that I haven’t done nearly enough compared to everyone else here that was going to be worth sharing.

But yesterday I had a good experience I want to share. My Dd2 and her BFF were at the high school football game (w/us and DD1 is on the dance team so we go to all of the games) and our team is trailing 46-18 or something and the opposing team had an amazing special teams running back who no one could catch and our team’s kicker (who only has one full arm and a half a left arm) ran after as the running back ran 70+ yards to score. The kicker didn’t catch him before he scored. As it happened though apparently one of parents from our side of the stands said something like “why is #5 the only one chasing this guy down and we all know he won’t be able to get him” and DD2 turned around and said “don’t bully #5.” After the game the kickers parents came up to myself and DH and asked us if Dd2 was the one who stuck up for their son and I said yes. They thanked us for raising Dd2 right. Dd2 is very cognizant of people making fun of others and standing up for others who are being made fun of (she has had some instances where she was made fun of at a prior school). In general both of my girls know not to make fun of others with disabilities or who are different than others.

I have also taught my kids to be somewhat independent and to do things on their own.

Sleep has also been a good thing for us; although it is getting slightly harder with Dd1 due to homework and what not and balancing two sports this fall (tennis, and dance).


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