Do your middle school or high school daughters use Instagram?

[fauve01]

My DD is in high school and has all the things. It's how they talk to each other.

[gatorsmom]

My high schoolers are allowed, yes. This is when you have some influence to teach them how to use it…you won’t have much influence at 18. In 6th grade, no. I loosened up a bit in 7th grade, but I was still fairly strict.

This is where we kind of fall too. They need to learn to use this now while us parents can still give them guidance. Ds1 who is 18 just recently deleted his IG account because he said it was too much of a time-suck. He said he’s found other ways to connect with friends. I’m pretty sure Ds2 who’s 16 has an IG account but he’s so wrapped up in building scooters and ramps that I never see him on it. When I look over his shoulder he’s watching scootering video clips or building stuff. Ds3 isn’t interested in IG or social media at all and neither are his friends. Dd1 is 13 and in 8th grade and I’ve just allowed her to get Snapchat to stay in touch with friends who go to a different school. I worry most for her about how social media is affecting her ideas of a healthy body image. She’s at her ballet studio almost daily but fortunately that studio emphasizes health over body size and shape. And she doesn’t seem to be negatively influenced by her Snapchat account at this point. But I’ll definitely keep my eyes peeled for any signs of negativity.

But for as well as my kids seem to be handling it, I had 2 nieces who were negatively affected by social media (which is why I’m hyper vigilant). One of them was bullied on social media and dropped out to attend online school. She had a rough few years. So did my BIL and SIL. It’s really hard to know the best way to handle it.

[jgenie]

I have boys and will let my older DS have social media accounts next year as a 9th grader. His friends have most everything but it hasn’t affected his social life so far. We had two middle schoolers commit suicide in a neighboring town pre-COVID. Both were traced back to separate online bullying sources. Involved parents had no idea how bad the bullying was.

[Kindra178]

I don’t know how my sophomore would communicate with anyone if he didn’t have snap. Instagram I suspect he could take or leave.


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[icunurse]

Both of my HS kids have Instagram and that seems to be a big way that their school communicates a lot of activity information (such as try out dates) and celebrate clubs and sports. They also have snap chat. But now even I have an Instagram account to stay on top of some school stuff.

[doberbrat]

Neither my 6th nor 10graders have any social media apps. I see too many negative behaviors with them.

[essnce629]

My DS2 is 12 and in 7th grade and doesn't have his own phone yet. We are doing the "Wait till 8th." I did get a 2nd phone in the last month that he's allowed to take when he goes walking alone in the neighborhood or when he's dropped off at volleyball. There are no social media apps on it though.

DS1 is a college freshman now and is probably one of the only students in his high school who didn't have any social media apps. He just had no interest and made it through high school just fine. In the past year he has gotten Snap and Twitter. He communicates with his friends through Discord. No Instagram or Tik Tok.

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[ang79]

My 7th and 9th grade daughters do not have any social media. The 7th grader doesn’t seem to care and her core friend group does not use them. My 9th grader has asked for Insta in the past (many friends of hers have had it since 5th or 6th grade) and I thought we would have to cave once she started high school but she hasn’t really asked recently. She tends to group text and FaceTime friends. There is a lot of drama in her friend group and she is already insecure about looks due to acne, so I don’t really want to go down the wormhole of picture perfect lives on social media with her at this point. As long as she is still keeping up with friends and groups through other means, we will stick to those. I also don’t have any social media accounts, so I would have to learn a lot before letting her get an account. DH only does Facebook.


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[Myira]

DD just turned 13 and is a 8th grader. She only got an iPhone this school year. She has no social media accounts except for a Skype account she got during lockdown to chat with friends.
I have no social media accounts myself except WhatsApp that I only use to keep in touch with family scattered across the globe. I don’t see any need for DD to add social media and open that can of worms. None of her friends do either so far so good.
While I understand the sentiment that kids need to learn navigating it, my take is the social media landscape is ever changing and so are the challenges it brings. I’d like them to keep that headache at bay as long as possible.


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[Melaine]

My twins just turned 15 and are freshmen. I am probably going to say they can have Instagram this year. Maybe. Although I recently have created a new Account and have received a lot of weird messages and even porn so I am a little reticent. Snap chat and tik tok are a no from me. At this point they are happy with texting their friends/FaceTime and they do a lot of pinterest for makeup/hair styles/ crafts/ cooking. They have a shared sleepover / Christmas board on Pinterest with some friends which i think is adorable. I feel like most of the *good* content from tik tok filters over to Pinterest so they can find stuff without as much junk/ risk. They are happy to have phones since we just did that over the summer. They understand I have really strong feelings about social media and they have been very respectful of those boundaries so it’s gone well so far.