This is part question part vent. My brother and his wife of a decade split about 18 months ago. We had no warning and were completely shocked. I have not spoken to him since. At first he asked us specifically not to call as he was still processing. I tried to give lots of space. Did not call. Messaged on Facebook. Tried to be very empathetic and express our love for him and that we wanted him to be ok above all else.
He still hasn’t been in contact. I have tried everything I can do to reach out short of flying across the country (which, if it wasn’t a pandemic I would have probably done). The last time I asked if we could just talk on the phone for a few minutes on the weekend he said yes and then at last minute backed out and said something came up at work.
He told us that he was coming for Thanksgiving but I didn’t tell the kids because I was skeptical. He backed out less than a week before.
He backed out of Christmas last year for Covid Reasons.
He mentioned coming over the summer and it never happened.
I just found out he is now in Mexico traveling on vacation. It really hurt me that he couldn’t make it here to see my kids he hasn’t seen in 2 years but instead randomly went to Mexico for fun. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t going to tell any of us but my mom found out. He has talked a little more with her but not much.
I get that he is in a bad place, but how long will he ignore his family? My kids have honestly been so heartbroken about this. I don’t understand this and I don’t know how to reach him. Advice?