ok i'm reading this thread and realizing we need to get it on a whole lot more while we can before our kids become teens and are suddenly roaming the house at all hours. And here I've been telling myself how much easier it's going to get in a few years when they are more independent.
Physical issues aside, I found the book Come as you are to helpful in understanding some of the psychological aspects. I don't think it's 'transformed' our love life by any means, but it has helped things - I understand both of us individually a bit better and I feel more empowered to ask for what I need when or intentionally steer myself to be more interested. And yeah sometimes that's just a couple chapters of a romancey book.