Special education advocate?

[sariana]

I don’t think it’s “borderline illegal.” I think it’s flat-out illegal. There’s a reason that provision exists in the law.

[AngB]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. If they aren't giving you a notice of suspension in writing then I'd assume he's not suspended and bring him back. Like you said, it's illegal and not to mention most districts, elementary principals don't have the authority to just suspend willy nilly especially over something like this. I would get an advocate because it does sound like you aren't getting anywhere with the school, try any local FB mom groups for referrals, I have found that are great with stuff like that in our area.

For what it's worth, my kindergartner 6yo who we believe is neurotypical has had a lot of similar issues this year and it's exasperating. DS3 missed three hours of class/recess just sitting in the cafeteria because he wouldn't pick up his sandwich that he had accidentally dropped on the floor. He wouldn't pick it up because he was embarassed that they asked him to do this in front of a bunch of his peers (and I get that it's not something that should be particularly embarrassing but for him it is, so there it is) and he's stubborn and a kindergartner. I didn't flat out say it but I was thinking "you guys seriously had a battle with a kindergartner over a dropped sandwich for 3 hours?!" He spent three years in preschool and had no issues like this even one time. We do stress that he needs to listen to his teachers,etc. but come on school staff. We haven't had a phone call or had to pick him up early since October but I don't know if it's because he's doing better or they are picking battles. (His teacher was supposed to start a behavior chart so we could see if he had a good day or not and hasn't once actually done it so...awesome. I actually have thought she has probably been part of the problem but hard to say, he seems to like her ok at this point.)
Unfortunately with common sense lacking in schools a lot lately I think it will get harder instead of easier.

[georgiegirl]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. If they aren't giving you a notice of suspension in writing then I'd assume he's not suspended and bring him back. Like you said, it's illegal and not to mention most districts, elementary principals don't have the authority to just suspend willy nilly especially over something like this. I would get an advocate because it does sound like you aren't getting anywhere with the school, try any local FB mom groups for referrals, I have found that are great with stuff like that in our area.

For what it's worth, my kindergartner 6yo who we believe is neurotypical has had a lot of similar issues this year and it's exasperating. DS3 missed three hours of class/recess just sitting in the cafeteria because he wouldn't pick up his sandwich that he had accidentally dropped on the floor. He wouldn't pick it up because he was embarassed that they asked him to do this in front of a bunch of his peers (and I get that it's not something that should be particularly embarrassing but for him it is, so there it is) and he's stubborn and a kindergartner. I didn't flat out say it but I was thinking "you guys seriously had a battle with a kindergartner over a dropped sandwich for 3 hours?!" He spent three years in preschool and had no issues like this even one time. We do stress that he needs to listen to his teachers,etc. but come on school staff. We haven't had a phone call or had to pick him up early since October but I don't know if it's because he's doing better or they are picking battles. (His teacher was supposed to start a behavior chart so we could see if he had a good day or not and hasn't once actually done it so...awesome. I actually have thought she has probably been part of the problem but hard to say, he seems to like her ok at this point.)
Unfortunately with common sense lacking in schools a lot lately I think it will get harder instead of easier.

Seriously 3 hours over a dropped sandwich? they don’t realize some kids could sit there all day. I’ve told the school that they will lose all battles like that with my kid.

[LBW]

I'm so sorry. I went through a lot of similar issues with my middle son when he was younger. I still hate it when the phone rings during the school day b/c I was constantly being asked to pick him up after an incident that the school should have handled. If it helps at all, he's a sophomore in HS now, and I haven't gotten a phone call from school in years.

One suggestion I have is to ask his doctor to write a letter explaining that by having you pick him up, they are teaching him that if he behaves a certain way, he can go home. That's not the type of reinforcement the school should be aiming for, obviously. I'd also recommend getting your lawyer involved instead of paying an advocate. Advocates can be great, but IME they don't carry the same weight with the school as they lawyer would.

Also, again in my experience, the school CAN suspend them...it's really their call to do so...and it's a STUPID punishment b/c it really just punishes the parents. I would try to get it written into his IEP that he cannot be suspended for certain actions - the lawyer should be able to help with this.

Good luck! As you know, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

[nfowife]

I’m a special ed teacher. Ask for a manifestation hearing. If the suspension is a manifestation of his disability then he cannot be suspended. Period. I think you do need an advocate.

[AngB]

Seriously 3 hours over a dropped sandwich? they don’t realize some kids could sit there all day. I’ve told the school that they will lose all battles like that with my kid.

They sure did! And then they didn't even call me or anything, I found out about it a couple days later when they called me about another similar incident and then they nonchalantly mentioned it. DS was so unaffected by it he didn't even mention it.

[hbridge]

OP, how were things at the end of last week and today??? Hopefully, he is back in school and things have improved.

To everyone on this board, ask for written reports for anything that seems "interesting" or unusual, document everything that seems unusual (the power struggle of a dropped sandwich is outrageous, DC would still be sitting there!), ask for phone calls... from teachers, nurses, counselors, the front office... I finally told the elementary school and middle school nurses that I needed a phone call for EVERY visit. They were great about it (once I asked)...broken braces...phone call...bandaid...phone call... stabbed by a pencil...phone call... Then we decided together if DC needed more (to be picked up, ect.). I know it was annoying for them, but my child has a VERY low pain threshold, an "ouch" means something really hurts... Ask for what your child needs and tell them what you think will help. They might not listen and they may not call, but at least they have been informed. I told one teacher that DC hated technology and will resist it at every turn; in December at conferences she admitted she didn't believe me, but every week DC stood in the doorway of the computer lab and refused to go in... At least she had been warned!

Keep all e-mails and documentation. You honestly never know when you might need them for mediation or a hearing or even just an IEP/504 meeting...

[georgiegirl]

OP here. DS has done great the past week. Zero issues. He’s bonded with his 1:1 who is spending recess with him every day. We have an IEP meeting on Thursday with the challenging behavior specialist. We will see what happens.

[bisous]

OP here. DS has done great the past week. Zero issues. He’s bonded with his 1:1 who is spending recess with him every day. We have an IEP meeting on Thursday with the challenging behavior specialist. We will see what happens.

Oh what a relief! So glad that worked out for you both for this tricky time. I'm curious about what the challenging behavior specialist will share!