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  1. #1
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    Default Don't tell my kid she has been exposed?!

    DD went to a slumber party on Friday night to one of her best friend's house. She tells me friend was not at school on Monday and that friend says she will be out all week. DD asks, are you in quarantine? Friend never replies. DD asks several times, no reply. DD goes to school on Wednesday and finds out from one of the other girls at the party that the host family is all in quarantine and that at least one of the siblings has tested positive for Covid. DD keeps texting her good friend who is being evasive and not answering her about her status. So, DD masks up and thankfully has not felt bad. I tell her we will test her after school as that would be 5 days post exposure. Friend finally responds to DD and says that yes some in her family are positive though she is negative. DD asks why wouldn't you tell me? Friend says parents told her not to and that because DD is vaxed "she'll be fine".

    I am livid! Thankfully, DD was negative. But, seriously? If that was me, I would have been on the phone immediately to all the parents alerting them to the possibility of exposure. I can't even imagine willfully withholding information about someone's health and the health of everyone else they would come in contact with.

    I've told DD that I won't prevent her from being friends with this girl, but she will very likely not be able to do anything with this friend if her parents are involved. How can I let my child hang out with you if you can't do the very least in informing me about a health issue that will effect my family? UGH!
    SAHM to Pete and Repeat my "Irish Twins" - DD 12/06 and DS 11/07

    Never argue with an idiot. He'll bring you down to his level, then beat you with experience.

  2. #2
    wendibird22's Avatar
    wendibird22 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    That's awful. Like you, I would've been in contact with every family whose kid was at my house. Just like our parents did in the 80s when we all got chicken pox.
    Mom to two amazing DDs ('07 & '09) and a fur baby.

    Gluten free since Nov '11 after non-celiac gluten sensitive diagnosis. Have had great improvement or total elimination of: migraines, bloating/distention, heartburn, cystic acne, canker sores, bleeding gums, eczema on elbows, dry skin and scalp, muscle cramps, PMS, hair loss, heart palpitations, fatigue. I'm amazed.

  3. #3
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    I’m sorry. That is awful. People are so selfish. At this point, there isn’t really a sigma attached to getting it, but there is when you are a jerk about it. We are dealing with something similar.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

  4. #4
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    I find this so frustrating. We were in an exposure situation where we all found out by chance a few weeks ago. My main irritation was that we spent time with my MIL a few days later but would have changed our plans had we known about the exposure. That's why I'd let everyone know.
    Mom to Two Wild and Crazy Boys and One Sweet Baby Girl

  5. #5
    Globetrotter is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    That is highly irresponsible. ugh. What if you all had risk factors they were not aware of, not that it matters because the default should be to inform you!
    "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What? You, too? I thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

  6. #6
    Liziz is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    WOW. That is just unacceptable! Fingers crossed your DD stays healthy.
    Lizi

  7. #7
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    WHAT is WRONG with people?!? I'd like to think this is isolated but just today a good friend told nearly exactly the same tale. Her child tested positive and the parents sent the child to school anyways the next day because she was vaccinated. .... resulting in a quarantine period for my friend's child and several others. My friend knew about the positive and alerted the school. The parents were pissed at her!!! Mom apparently said she has an advanced degree and works in healthcare and they're fine. .....


    for Pete's sake, if you're positive, just admit it! Its not like we live in Hong Kong and the government is going to come kill you pets.
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and ... a mini poodle!

  8. #8
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Oh. That is a betrayal of trust. Does it make you wonder what else they'd keep from you? I think there is still stigma in some corners from a positive COVID diagnosis and that's unfortunate because it really is beyond the ability of most of us to avoid it at this point.

  9. #9
    petesgirl is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    We've had similar situations but with family members not informing us that they tested positive a few days after we spent time with them.

    I know there is a bit of a stigma attached to it, because we have been in the hard position of having to inform people that their kid got an exposure because of my kid. But informing them is the responsible thing to do!!
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  10. #10
    twowhat? is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    UGH. I am hearing more and more about these types of things and I'm sorry you had to lose some trust in this friend/parents in this way. I know several healthcare providers now with personal stories of patients coming in, even for wellness checks or noncritical visits, and fail to mention they are covid positive until it somehow accidentally comes up in conversation halfway through the appointment (and yes, they lie for the screening questions). My kids report that LOTS of kids go to school coughing, and then disappear later in the day.

    I'm a little surprised your DD's friend hasn't responded...it's the kids that tend to be more open and transparent about these kinds of things.

    Hope your DD stays well!

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