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  1. #11
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by trales View Post
    This is already quite the year. I hear you on the drywall dust, it takes forever to get out of everything.
    Oh, and have I mentioned it's Girl Scout Cookie Season, so I have cases and cases of cookies in my dining room? (Fortunately, they were mostly unopened, so the bottom-stacked boxes were dust-free.)


    I was in a car accident the Monday before Thanksgiving, I still don't have my car back. . .
    Oh my gosh! I hope you're OK and that you'll have your car back soon.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  2. #12
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Sheetrock dust is THE WORST. It gets everywhere. Don't forget to have the registers and ductwork blown out. Sheetrock dust collects in there too.

    My whine is that I'm helping do interviews for the nonprofit I volunteer at. We are trying to hire a fundraising professional. I'm continually asked to interview people who are not qualified. I try to politely tell the Executive Director that these people are not qualified. How can you tell? Well, the job description states the experience and skills they need and this person's resume lists NONE OF THESE QUALIFICATIONS. Why do i have to waste my time interviewing these people? Because they showed interest? Because they "think" they can do the work? Ugh, isn't my time valuable too???
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  3. #13
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by gatorsmom View Post
    Sheetrock dust is THE WORST. It gets everywhere. Don't forget to have the registers and ductwork blown out. Sheetrock dust collects in there too.
    I've been vacuuming them as I go; it's not nearly enough, but it helps.


    My whine is that I'm helping do interviews for the nonprofit I volunteer at. We are trying to hire a fundraising professional. I'm continually asked to interview people who are not qualified. I try to politely tell the Executive Director that these people are not qualified. How can you tell? Well, the job description states the experience and skills they need and this person's resume lists NONE OF THESE QUALIFICATIONS. Why do i have to waste my time interviewing these people? Because they showed interest? Because they "think" they can do the work? Ugh, isn't my time valuable too???
    Oh wow, no thank you! I hope you'll find someone, but this sounds so stressful!
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  4. #14
    hellokitty is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Perimenopause, you suck. My period ended last Tuesday (6 days!) And then yesterday, during work I started spotting. Well it looks like period number two for the month of January, because it is now my typical, awful period. Wtf? 2022 appears to already have a theme, one that I want no part of.

    Otherwise, we are stuck in a holding pattern with COVID. I need to buckle down and finish my graduate degree. Work is getting busier, which is good, but I'm also about 2 months in and thought I'd have more time before things ramped up. I'm trying to make sure to prioritize balance this time, which I know will help me to recover from the debilitating burnout from my previous job and set me up for a better outlook moving forward to prevent burnout again.

    My son, my annoying son, and my annoying husband who trusted my son. He takes college classes so we don't have access to his grades, my husband, who should know better by now than to trust our son accepted the LIE that he got all A's and B's last semester only for us to discover he got C's and D's. I'm so angry and disappointed, I'm tired of the chronic disappointment, he has ADHD, we tried the meds but it the side effects were an issue. Add on that he actually got into every college he applied to and got scholarships... But now we are afraid those will all be rescinded if he can't manage to have a good final semester. This all feeds into my fears that he will go to college and flunk out because he is his own worst enemy. I'm so mad I'm numb. He is my smartest kid, but has zero self motivation and only cares about video games, his grades have never reflected his intelligence, it's like he is wasting a perfectly good brain. Meanwhile, my sophomore who is the polar opposite has already started his college search and is looking at higher tiered schools, while we had to drag our older son through this entire process and only focused on schools within our state. Even though I have 3 boys, I don't get any benefit from learning from the experience with my first kid because everything is such a train wreck in spite of us doing everything we should be doing.

    Idk what else to say, yes these are first world problems, and my husband's view is let him sink now... Except we have tried this before and he never swims, he just keeps sinking. Idk what to do with this kid but he cannot just live with us forever and play videogames, everything has got to be the hard way. I have a coworker with a 30 something son who literally is living with them forever because all he can do is play video games and they can't trust him with money because he uses it on stupid crap... It's like my worst fear come true. She is in her 70s and can't retire because she is supporting him!
    Mom to 3 LEGO Maniacs

  5. #15
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
    Perimenopause, you suck. My period ended last Tuesday (6 days!) And then yesterday, during work I started spotting. Well it looks like period number two for the month of January, because it is now my typical, awful period. Wtf? 2022 appears to already have a theme, one that I want no part of.
    I'm not looking forward to perimenopause (hopeful that I have another couple years; Mom started when she was around 46, so that gives me more time to read Dr Jen Gunter's The Menopause Manifesto to get ready) and that sounds like a serious PITB. I hope you're not in constant H3ll while you go through the change.


    Otherwise, we are stuck in a holding pattern with COVID. I need to buckle down and finish my graduate degree. Work is getting busier, which is good, but I'm also about 2 months in and thought I'd have more time before things ramped up. I'm trying to make sure to prioritize balance this time, which I know will help me to recover from the debilitating burnout from my previous job and set me up for a better outlook moving forward to prevent burnout again.
    I hope you can find your balance; it's not easy!


    My son, my annoying son, and my annoying husband who trusted my son. He takes college classes so we don't have access to his grades, my husband, who should know better by now than to trust our son accepted the LIE that he got all A's and B's last semester only for us to discover he got C's and D's. I'm so angry and disappointed, I'm tired of the chronic disappointment, he has ADHD, we tried the meds but it the side effects were an issue. Add on that he actually got into every college he applied to and got scholarships... But now we are afraid those will all be rescinded if he can't manage to have a good final semester. This all feeds into my fears that he will go to college and flunk out because he is his own worst enemy. ... Even though I have 3 boys, I don't get any benefit from learning from the experience with my first kid because everything is such a train wreck in spite of us doing everything we should be doing.
    I know he's already applied/got scholarships to the 4-year schools, but ... have you considered encouraging him to do a 2-year school/community college program instead? At least until he gets his head on straight? (Or is that where he's taking classes right now?) DH also has ADHD, but he wasn't diagnosed until college.

    In his case, it took him flunking out of an out-of-state school plus what we've dubbed "the grand tour" of NJ's county colleges to get him through a Bachelor's degree, because he really needed the support scaffold for his executive function challenges. Instead of medication, he mainlines diet cola all day (same stimulant effect as stimulant medication without the side effects he doesn't like), and has his own organizational system to get stuff done.


    Idk what else to say, yes these are first world problems, and my husband's view is let him sink now... Except we have tried this before and he never swims, he just keeps sinking. ...
    The hard part is letting him hit rock bottom. DH had to hit rock bottom before he realized there was a problem.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  6. #16
    trales's Avatar
    trales is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Thanks for the thoughts, while the accident was very mentally traumatic, no physical harm was done to DD or I. It was a hit and run, and the other person appeared very injured before the fled the scene.

    I have had a rental car for 30 days, but the insurance wants it back, and the car is not fixed. . . The side view mirror got knocked off and that led to major electrical shortages and HUGE problems. The body work has been minimal. I hope to get it back soon.

    The old dog has cancer but is doing better with treatment and the puppy ate a sock and had to spend the night at the vet to "help" it pass and we avoided major surgery.

    Keep moving 2022, so I can get to the better part!
    Tracey

    DD1 3/07 Itching to take over the universe.
    DD2 1/14 My mellow little snuggler.

  7. #17
    hbridge is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post

    My son, my annoying son, and my annoying husband who trusted my son. He takes college classes so we don't have access to his grades, my husband, who should know better by now than to trust our son accepted the LIE that he got all A's and B's last semester only for us to discover he got C's and D's. I'm so angry and disappointed, I'm tired of the chronic disappointment, he has ADHD, we tried the meds but it the side effects were an issue. Add on that he actually got into every college he applied to and got scholarships... But now we are afraid those will all be rescinded if he can't manage to have a good final semester. This all feeds into my fears that he will go to college and flunk out because he is his own worst enemy. I'm so mad I'm numb. He is my smartest kid, but has zero self motivation and only cares about video games, his grades have never reflected his intelligence, it's like he is wasting a perfectly good brain. Meanwhile, my sophomore who is the polar opposite has already started his college search and is looking at higher tiered schools, while we had to drag our older son through this entire process and only focused on schools within our state. Even though I have 3 boys, I don't get any benefit from learning from the experience with my first kid because everything is such a train wreck in spite of us doing everything we should be doing.

    Idk what else to say, yes these are first world problems, and my husband's view is let him sink now... Except we have tried this before and he never swims, he just keeps sinking. Idk what to do with this kid but he cannot just live with us forever and play videogames, everything has got to be the hard way. I have a coworker with a 30 something son who literally is living with them forever because all he can do is play video games and they can't trust him with money because he uses it on stupid crap... It's like my worst fear come true. She is in her 70s and can't retire because she is supporting him!
    Sending hugs!!! 18/19/20 is such a hard age for all kids! They aren't kids, they aren't adults, they are still developing... I have an 18 year old with neurodiversities; we are looking at colleges, I am panicking, while DC is so excited.

    Failing out of college is actually okay. It may help your son gain some motivation. However, you need to take care of you. If your son is able to be safe and make fairly safe decisions, take a deep breath and let him fail or succeed on his own. Let him know that you trust him to make the right choices, but you are there to help as needed. That he is expected to go to class and keep his grades up, but if he needs to come home and work for a while FULL TIME, that's okay to. Set up whatever you think he needs, but protect yourself too.

    DH and I both have cousins who are in their 40's and live with their parents, the common thread is that the families have always made excuses. I like to think of diagnoses as a roadmap NEVER an excuse. It explains a lot but it's not an excuse; DC needs to figure out how to work around the deficits and let the strengths shine. It is NOT as easy as that and we have a team of professionals helping, but, essentially, that is my philosophy.

    The good thing is that your son is an adult and can make his own decisions and suffer the consequences. If he wants to move home, you are in control of what that looks like and can set boundaries, rent, ect. Think about what you think will help him (and you) the most and lay it out. HOWEVER, always make sure he knows that you love him and he is worthy of love.

    Honestly, I would start the conversation with "why didn't you tell us your grades were low?" (he may not have known...) followed by "what can we do to help?" If he needs to drop out the question is "what is your plan?".

    Be gentle with yourself and gentle with him. The transition to adulthood is hard and doesn't have to be a straight line.

  8. #18
    firstbaby is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    My whine is that I'm helping do interviews for the nonprofit I volunteer at. We are trying to hire a fundraising professional. I'm continually asked to interview people who are not qualified. I try to politely tell the Executive Director that these people are not qualified. How can you tell? Well, the job description states the experience and skills they need and this person's resume lists NONE OF THESE QUALIFICATIONS. Why do i have to waste my time interviewing these people? Because they showed interest? Because they "think" they can do the work? Ugh, isn't my time valuable too???[/QUOTE]

    Your time is definitely valuable, but you may be pleasantly surprised keeping an open mind with the interview. I once interviewed with a company and I could just tell the interviewer had already stopped considering me. The job I went to from that search I was the highest performing person on the team. The talent crunch out there is very real and I bet fundraising for non profits has become very challenging post Covid. Perhaps someone not coming directly from the role with preconceived ideas or bad training would be a better hire. Just something to consider ��

  9. #19
    Kestrel is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    A 2022 challenge? We got notice today that we have sixty days to decide if DS will continue with virtual school next year (he is enrolled in the neighboring district, as ours does not have virtual) or go back to in person at his home school district.

    How are we supposed to guess at this point what Covid will look like in September???

  10. #20
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post
    A 2022 challenge? We got notice today that we have sixty days to decide if DS will continue with virtual school next year (he is enrolled in the neighboring district, as ours does not have virtual) or go back to in person at his home school district.

    How are we supposed to guess at this point what Covid will look like in September???
    My kiddo has been in person since last winter and no Covid. He is vaccinated (and now boosted). Iím so glad heís in school. I know there is transmission but unless thereís a really complicated health issue at play, I would really feel ok going in person.
    (Sorry- this is a BP and maybe you were simply venting!)


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

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