New Whine-and-Cheese Party Thread - 2022 Edition

[jgenie]

I’ll join. Can’t understand why DH needs to be directed to take care of things at home. We have guests now. I woke up early to go for a run before the day got started. I came back and immediately went outside to check the pool filter baskets. I emptied the baskets added chlorine and skimmed the pool. Come inside and DH says he would have handled the pool if I had told him it needed to be done. Why must I tell him?! No one tells me to go out and check. I just know it needs to be checked if we want to be able to use it. I was out all day sightseeing with guests yesterday. Came home to find the breakfast dishes in the sink at 6:00. DH worked from home, went to get his car washed but didn’t get the dishes done. I finish and he walks in and says he had planned to do them. So not helpful. This would have been a good week for him to travel. So much easier when I don’t have to factor him into plans since I do the heavy lifting anyway.

[lizzywednesday]

I’ll join. Can’t understand why DH needs to be directed to take care of things at home. ...

I have temper tantrums about this with my DH; he's been leaving his dishes on the counter NEXT TO the sink when the dishwasher is load-able, but I'm soaking a large pan or pot from dinner in the sink.

Or he'll use a tissue (NOT A PAPER TOWEL OR PAPER NAPKIN, but a Kleenex - we have tissue boxes all over the house because I have anxiety when I need to but can't blow my nose) and leave it crumpled up on his plate, which he'll put into the sink ... and, inevitably, I will turn the water on to rinse things ... and have to handle a soggy tissue.

He's also insisted that we don't need to replace the "clean/dirty" magnet we had purchased for our last dishwasher because the new one has a "clean" indicator light on the front panel ... and yet ... he can't manage to unload the dishwasher, either. (Or, rather, when he DOES unload it, he leaves EVERYTHING ON THE EFFING COUNTERTOP instead of using a clean dishtowel to dry the ceramic dishes and just letting the plastic stuff sit overnight.)

I have been tempted to label all of his messes with sticky notes, but that's actually passive-aggressive.

[lizzywednesday]

Today, I was nearly t-boned entering the highway because the car in the right-hand lane was tailgating the car turning into the parking lot I was exiting, so it looked like the lane was clear. As I flipped off the driver, his passenger got extremely indignant that I would even dare to enter the highway, and then, when I tried to actually enter the damn highway, sped up & wouldn't let me in ... THEN swooped ahead, really aggressively into a lane of cars stopped at a traffic light.

So, I flipped them off again.

Did I behave well? No. But they were super-aggressive and dangerous!

[wendibird22]

Just had two daughters sit me and DH down to unload on us about how we are the worst parents ever and how we make them feel bad about themselves. It was a 30min, at least, stream of consciousness full of “you always” and “you never”. And what started this lecture was the fact that DH asked them if they wanted to go to the drive in tonight, the two girls then argued and were nasty to each other because they couldn’t agree on the movie, so I said forget it we aren’t going. I said it’s no fun to go when all you’ve done is argue. And this happens every time we try to propose anything fun as a family.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

Just had two daughters sit me and DH down to unload on us about how we are the worst parents ever and how we make them feel bad about themselves. It was a 30min, at least, stream of consciousness full of “you always” and “you never”. And what started this lecture was the fact that DH asked them if they wanted to go to the drive in tonight, the two girls then argued and were nasty to each other because they couldn’t agree on the movie, so I said forget it we aren’t going. I said it’s no fun to go when all you’ve done is argue. And this happens every time we try to propose anything fun as a family.


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While on vacation in Europe, ds2 sent me an angry text telling me I was too “under bearing” as a parent. Not enough rules 🤣


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[nfceagles]

While on vacation in Europe, ds2 sent me an angry text telling me I was too “under bearing” as a parent. Not enough rules


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[lizzywednesday]

While on vacation in Europe, ds2 sent me an angry text telling me I was too “under bearing” as a parent. Not enough rules ��

My sister once berated our father for not making her eat her vegetables, so I guess you can't win.

[wendibird22]

While on vacation in Europe, ds2 sent me an angry text telling me I was too “under bearing” as a parent. Not enough rules ��


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That's priceless! I'll trade kids with you for a few days just so they see how the other half lives lol.

[lizzywednesday]

My mother and her husband have COVID.

He has Parkinson's, so while he's vaccinated, everything I've read indicates that he's at an increased risk of death from the virus. At least he finally made a will, so my mother will be protected economically if he should kick the bucket.

My mother, on the other hand, is generally healthy but ... she's stuck caring for him while ill herself.

My sister called the other day and Mom told her that she couldn't rest because her husband "keeps falling."

DH wanted to know if I had called; I said there was no point because Mom would be too flustered and busy to be nice.

He thinks I'm not being "supportive," but that implies I have a healthy relationship with my mother, which I decidedly do not. (And I'm still trying to figure out what kind of relationship I want with my mother; it's ... hard.)

[lizzywednesday]

DD has been turning down opportunities to do stuff other than play video games. Somehow, DH has decided that this is my fault.

I'm sorry that I'm not his social secretary, so I don't make plans. There are lists of things I would like to do, but he doesn't enjoy them. Stuff like ... going to the Ren Faire. Visiting museums. Checking out the bookstore, just because. I don't have local friends. (I am friendly with local people, but I am not friends with them. There's a difference. I honestly find surface socializing exhausting.)

I need specific conditions to complete household tasks, so refusing an offer to head out & run errands or something is so I can actually get sh!t done, instead of trying to work around you ... watching f^cking baseball. (Also? I don't understand why I have to come to Home Depot to get stuff on a list that YOU came up with, but I did it.)