How to welcome a teen foster child! :)

[Kindra178]

The baby can get away with fewer things plus everyone loves to buy for babies. I would buy second hand for the baby. So much nearly new stuff is available for next to nothing. If it was my family, I would concentrate on the dad as much as possible. I would get him new clothes, a new book bag if he doesn’t have one, new supplies for school, a gift card to Amazon or Target so he can pick out new books or music for himself. Being a teen dad is daunting and so much of him gets pushed aside as he cares for his child. It would be great for him to feel some of the support is just for him. Best wishes for a smooth transition for all!

Every bit of this. I would make sure he has the basics of teen life - backpack big enough for school, good sneakers, joggers. hoodies, gym uniform, t shirts, shorts, etc.

The baby needs so little and almost everything can be second or third hand. Can you switch the baby shower to a him shower?

[carolinamama]

Sending good thoughts for this teen, his baby and your family. He is very fortunate to have your caring family to help guide him and provide a home. My guess is that the teen will need more direction and "parenting" than the baby as he learns to juggle parenthood while still be a kid himself.

[Globetrotter]

This is a lovely and caring decision for your family to make. I like the idea of buying secondhand stuff for the baby and making sure the father has what he needs. I’m sure if you posted on a buy nothing group and told them the situation, you would have tons of stuff in no time. But I do understand the excitement of having a baby shower!

[zukeypur]

I would say to help him plan for the future. I know it seems like it's a long way off, but he needs to start locking down resources NOW. There is a TON of support for foster kids, almost no support for foster "graduates". Public housing, tuition assistance, completing as much higher education as possible before he ages out (if that is his goal), etc.

In our area, the wait for public assistance housing is YEARS long. I was looking for DD's name on the list yesterday, and the person who was at the top of the list applied 5 years ago. On another list, the #1 applied in 2015. I also discovered DD is NOT on the list anymore because you have to reapply every 3 months. If he is going to need public assistance after he graduates, it's a whole new world. He needs to learn now how to organize his life, set tasks on a schedule, and FOLLOW THROUGH. This is something that DD is really terrible at.

[sariana]

I just want to say that I love this thread. So much positivity and good advice!

[AustenFan]

I just love hearing stories of fostering teen parents! One of the most overwhelming things for ME as a foster mom was getting on top of all the resources that there are out there for the children in the system--I was handed a huge binder of info from the very seasoned foster mom who had my DD before us, but it still took a year to figure out, for example, that she was eligible for WIC. Even with my really awesome agency social workers, there were a lot of things that they just assumed we knew. So while helping this young man with physical aid (school supplies, clothes, etc) is AMAZING, he'd be so blessed to have someone helping him organize *information* on what resources are available to him now and in the future. For example, my alma mater has a specific scholarship set up for kids coming out of foster care, but it's not the sort of thing that a high school counselor might necessarily know about. Back in SoCal, we knew of two support nonprofits that helped provide assistance to foster families, families seeking reunification, and foster kids aging out of the system--when we moved, we donated extra kitchen supplies and our second fridge to them because they help kids setting up their own apartments after aging out. They have also helped kids get a used car, a computer, etc. If you can find similar organizations around you, that could be a great resource for him long-term.

[Kestrel]

That's good info, AustenFan, thank you! I know the social worker set up school and health care, but I'll ask about WIC. Formula is so expensive!