Settle this for me and DH...

[gatorsmom]

I wanted to add- can you quietly ask for an extension? I wouldn’t let Ds1 know you are doing this, but I’d find out if an additional extension is a possibility. You have valid reasons- your family has been sick, it’s harder to meet with scoutmasters, and donors, it’s hard to assemble other scouts in one place, businesses are closed down, supply chains are backed up. I would try. I’m not sure I’d let ds know you looked into unless you CAN actually get the additional extension. Then I’d have him complete the paperwork for it.

I’m worried about the amount of work he needs to get done in 2 weeks.

[jgenie]

I think your husband needs to rally with the rest of the family and support your DS. As long as your DS is mentally strong enough to see this through I would not let him quit. This would be a great time for your family to push together to see what you can accomplish as a team. I know this is his project and he has to do it but support from all of you will go a long way. How great you’ll feel when it’s done! Good luck!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I agree with jgenie- I think your ds will remember your support and encouragement at the end of all of this. That you believed in him. I think that’ll be awesome!


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[gatorsmom]

Sorry, one last thought. IMO, this is important enough that I’d let your Ds1 miss other activities and even some school if he needed to go meet with scoutmasters or to finish paperwork. It’s crunch time.

My Ds1 was offered merit scholarships at some of the universities he applied to specifically because he got his Eagle rank.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Sorry, one last thought. IMO, this is important enough that I’d let your Ds1 miss other activities and even some school if he needed to go meet with scoutmasters or to finish paperwork. It’s crunch time.

My Ds1 was offered merit scholarships at some of the universities he applied to specifically because he got his Eagle rank.

Yep! It won’t be the end of the world to miss a few days of school, religious activities, sports, or relaxation time. When it’s crunch time, you just prioritize. And it’s realky ok to prioritize this accomplishment. Long term benefits, short term disruption.


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[bisous]

Thank you ALL.

For the suggestions FOR SURE. I'm taking notes here. The critical thing is getting a proposal signed and a date! Prayers would help if you're so inclined. I know we can do the rest but I think we do them better with your suggestions.


Thank you especially for the support. It is hard to do this but it is especially hard when you're getting the kind of pushback I am getting from my DH. I wish we could do this as a family. DH is very capable when he decides something is worth his effort and we could sure use his help but I don't think we'll get it. We can get on without it but I'm not sure we'll make this work without at least a little support. Anyway, I think we'll overcome this hurdle too. But I just especially appreciate your responses because last night I was so completely on a different page with DH that I felt very weak. I never really felt like I was wrong, but I felt like maybe I needed a gut check to make sure I wasn't completely in left field. I feel stronger today reading your responses. So thank you VERY MUCH for this!

[gatorsmom]

Thank you ALL.

For the suggestions FOR SURE. I'm taking notes here. The critical thing is getting a proposal signed and a date! Prayers would help if you're so inclined. I know we can do the rest but I think we do them better with your suggestions.


Thank you especially for the support. It is hard to do this but it is especially hard when you're getting the kind of pushback I am getting from my DH. I wish we could do this as a family. DH is very capable when he decides something is worth his effort and we could sure use his help but I don't think we'll get it. We can get on without it but I'm not sure we'll make this work without at least a little support. Anyway, I think we'll overcome this hurdle too. But I just especially appreciate your responses because last night I was so completely on a different page with DH that I felt very weak. I never really felt like I was wrong, but I felt like maybe I needed a gut check to make sure I wasn't completely in left field. I feel stronger today reading your responses. So thank you VERY MUCH for this!

Since you don’t have time to convince your Dh to help with this, can you get another troop parent- someone who is in a position of leadership or at least has previous experience with this project- to take you and ds under their wing? We had 2 troop leaders who came to our house and met with Ds1 and talked him through it. I agree, it will help to have more adults supporting and pushing your ds. If it can’t be Dh, can you find someone else?

Also, get that proposal signed today. Call troop leaders and offer to drive ds to their house or wherever they are going to be today to get paperwork signed. You’ll need to give the scouts a date as soon as possible to work on this project. Most families are busy and need advance notice. I’d move heaven and earth to get that arranged TODAY.

[California]

Agree that this is worth pushing through, after your DS (and you and his scout leaders) have put in years of effort.

With your DH, I would agree with him on any points you can, and just keep chugging ahead. It’s amazing how acknowledging the other person’s position can get them to lighten up!

Gatorsmom’s suggestion to reach out to other adults is a great one. Pushing your DS may be hard on your relationship, and it may help to have other adults encourage him along too.

It’s possible when your DH sees that you are no longer arguing with him over this and are moving ahead, and other adults (ie men) are pitching in, he’ll help too.

[mikala]

Okay, so I have a very different perspective on all of this than some of the other posters. I thought I had seen a similar post here so went back and did a search:
https://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/sh...44#post4396144

OP, re-read your last post. It sounds like he was struggling to get going on the project back in April too and this is the end of the extension. It sounds like he's telling you loud and clear with his actions that this project isn't important to him. When you ask him he tells you he'd like to finish it, possibly because he knows that's what you want to hear. The barriers you mentioned for completion - advisor with Covid, family exposure, busy principal, etc. are all fairly recent roadblocks and aren't solely to blame for the two week crunch time.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Okay, so I have a very different perspective on all of this than some of the other posters. I thought I had seen a similar post here so went back and did a search:
https://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/sh...44#post4396144

OP, re-read your last post. It sounds like he was struggling to get going on the project back in April too and this is the end of the extension. It sounds like he's telling you loud and clear with his actions that this project isn't important to him. When you ask him he tells you he'd like to finish it, possibly because he knows that's what you want to hear. The barriers you mentioned for completion - advisor with Covid, family exposure, busy principal, etc. are all fairly recent roadblocks and aren't solely to blame for the two week crunch time.

I don’t know if I’d really say his actions show he’s not into it. I think lots of teens/ people (me!) are procrastinators. The more time I have, the more you’ll find me getting the most done at the end. Doesn’t mean I’m not wanting to do it…I just don’t do it until I have to. Time has a way if getting away from us.


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