Settle this for me and DH...

[gymnbomb]

Yay!! Glad to hear it's going well so far and he's feeling good about it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yay!
I admit, I’ve wondered if he could do lots more than you think he can. I’m glad he’s proving that now. It’ll be such a good feeling when he finishes! In hindsight, I can see a bunch of times I should have stood back with ds1. It’s so hard in the moment.
I hear you on having to watch and wanting to intervene/improve. Take a book and try and just chill on the sidelines. Be available as needed but try not to watch


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[Globetrotter]

I’m glad it’s working out… It is so tricky at times but sounds like your instincts were right with this one. Some kids just need that extra push. He will learn so much from this experience, even if (especially if) it doesn’t go perfectly. I know it is so hard to stand back and watch!

[AngB]

Yay! I am glad it is working out, I hope it all goes smoothly!

[Percycat]

Hey guys! Today is THE DAY. DS filled out all his paperwork, got his signatures, got a slew of volunteers and today after school he starts! I'm happy the day has arrived. I'm so nervous! I have a hard time not taking over a project on a good day with a mature adult leader, lol. Do you know how hard I'll want to intervene on this project?

YAY! I am so happy to hear this. I am looking forward to logging in tomorrow to hear how everything went. : )

I totally hear you on not wanting to step in and 'help'. My son had his major work day in our garage. I volunteered to make a lunch for all of the volunteers. DD and I created a menu ala Subway takeout style for sandwiches offering a variety of breads, fillings, extras, and prep style. DD circulated among the volunteers and took their orders and then we went to work. It kept us busy in a way that completly supported his project, but also prevented me from offering suggestions or taking over. DD also circulated to take pictures. You will want these for his final report and his Eagle Court of Honor.

What a great day for your son and family!

[gatorsmom]

I’m so happy things are going well! And I guarantee you all our kids can do so much more than we think they can! There are some very smart parents here!

I had trouble holding back and letting Ds1 manage the show when he was doing his project. My suggestion is you document it by taking photos for him. Take some photos of him leading the group, as well as the scouts working on the project and of course him standing next to the finished product. It will keep you busy and yet you will feel involved. Those photos will come in handy when you make a photo display for his Court of Honor! They might also be handy when he writes his final paperwork documenting the project.

[lizzywednesday]

Hey guys! Today is THE DAY. DS filled out all his paperwork, got his signatures, got a slew of volunteers and today after school he starts! I'm happy the day has arrived. I'm so nervous! I have a hard time not taking over a project on a good day with a mature adult leader, lol. Do you know how hard I'll want to intervene on this project? I'm going into this with the idea that it is his time to show his learned leadership skills. It isn't a terribly ambitious project. I'm pretty sure we have enough people, materials, and expertise to make it work, even with some mismanagement. But so nervous!

So, I've been watching DS this week. He definitely needed a little prodding to go for this project. But he's now handling things on his own. ...

I think, for me, the bolded pieces are what should allow you to let out that breath you've been holding and leave him be. We all know it's gonna be hard, but I think you've recognized that the kick in the pants was your part.

I hope it goes well and you can rest easy!

[ett]

I’m so happy things are going well! And I guarantee you all our kids can do so much more than we think they can! There are some very smart parents here!

I had trouble holding back and letting Ds1 manage the show when he was doing his project. My suggestion is you document it by taking photos for him. Take some photos of him leading the group, as well as the scouts working on the project and of course him standing next to the finished product. It will keep you busy and yet you will feel involved. Those photos will come in handy when you make a photo display for his Court of Honor! They might also be handy when he writes his final paperwork documenting the project.

Yes, definitely take some before/after pictures. He'll want to include them with the Eagle project workbook.

[hbridge]

So, I've been watching DS this week. He definitely needed a little prodding to go for this project. But he's now handling things on his own. He called a bunch of people yesterday. Made lists and decisions that I probably wouldn't have made. I think I'm more nervous about this than him. I woke up on Wednesday super early full of anxiety because that was the day he was meeting with the principal of the school. I start feeling SO badly about "making" him do this project. And then I saw his face and he wasn't full of anxiety. He was actually feeling kind of good? Maybe I don't make it better when I make excuses for his anxiety and his ADHD and his OCD? I'm always trying to be gentle and appropriate in what I ask of him but maybe he can do more than I expect?

I have found that my DC can do more than I expect...until they can't! Until they are stuck or overwhelmed or exhausted or ... they just can't for some reason. Sometimes they can't even do what I expected 10 years ago... It's okay to be worried about all the pieces. Having a child (even a teen or adult) with some neurodiversity means that every day is different. Be gentle on him and yourself. Don't make excuses, make contingency plans . I have found with my DC that figuring out the issue and working on the one thing that is getting in the way, makes all the difference. Since that "roadblock" is usually something I wouldn't even think of as an issue, I need DC to tell me somehow. OP, that is exactly what you seemed to have done and now he is chugging right along! You did great, MOM! He's got this and you helped him over the hump!

[bisous]

Guys, it went SO well. We were lucky in many respects. The beneficiary had a project in mind that was very appropriate in scope for DS1 and his abilities as a scout project. That helped a ton. The weather could not have been more beautiful. We had just the right amount of volunteers (10 on Friday, and 37 on Saturday). DS1 did a good job of making DH and I stop taking charge which was hard for both of us, haha but we were happy that he very firmly said, "I've got this guys". It was especially hard since we decided to really make it a family project. I couldn't have foreseen that avenue if we did not have that major misstep a week ago when the kids were arguing and DD ended up in the urgent care (she's completely fine BTW!) The little kids really enjoyed working with us. They weren't the best workers but DS1 put them in charge of things like the signup sheet and they all got into the part when we were painting. The project finished 1.5 hours early and it turned out great. We were tired but I really saw a lot of relief on DS1s face. I do think that this is (so far) a really positive thing. I think he's glad to be done, but at the same time, I feel like he actually enjoyed the process a lot. It had a lot of hallmarks of things that are good for strong mental health--it was outside, it provided a service to a local school, and it was among good friends. The planning part (and paperwork) was MUCH more stressful than the actual project.

He still needs the beneficiary to sign the project workbook. He still needs to complete the application and have the scoutmaster conference. He needs to come up with references! Like six of them! But I think we can do this in the next five days. And then he's really and truly done.