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  1. #11
    gatorsmom is online now Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    In our situation, it would depend on which kids were in charge, which kids were staying home, how far away we were going, how comfortable and likely the kids are reaching out to outside help, and which night of the week it is. On a weeknight where they have an established routine, it's easier to leave them alone. I'd be much more comfortable leaving DS1 and DD alone but throw DS3 in the mix and all bets are off. DS3 won't listen to DS1 or his twin sister. But he will listen to DS2. However, DS2 is at an age when I don't trust some of his decisions and he wouldn't listen to his older brother so that changes things too.

    OP, in your situation, I think 6 hours is a long distance to be from your kids in the event of an emergency. It helps that you have family and friends close by who could maybe check in on your girls. But the biggest thing that would give me pause is that your daughters don't get along well. So, if DD1 decides that they shouldn't do something, would DD2 override her? Pout and ride her bike to a friends' house without clearing it with her older sister? Lock herself in the bathroom with her cell phone for 5 hours and sext the boy she's crushing on at school? Is DD1 mature enough to know not to go hang out with friends and leave DD2 alone for hours at a time?

    I'm more of a worry-wort so probably in your situation, I'd have the girls stay with their grandparents or at their friends' houses for the night.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #12
    PunkyBoo is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    My DS1 is almost 18 and we've never left him home overnight alone or with DS2. We have always had them stay overnight at the ILs house.
    Part of that has been we don't go anywhere much, even less so in the last 2 years during which DS1 has been a licensed driver, due to pandemic. And in the last 2 years both ILs have had major health challenges so they are no longer a childcare option for us.
    DS1 alone would probably be ok, I've never asked him.
    DS2 is challenging. We've discovered we can't really leave him home alone for more than an hour or so. He's fine with DS1 but that's a big responsibility on DS1(who is leaving for college in a few months). So my answer is probably skewed due to DS2.

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  3. #13
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    I was going to say around 16 for one kid, but likely older for also being responsible for a younger sibling. I might be ok with responsible 15 year old who felt comfortable with the idea home alone for one night if 12 year old were at a sleepover.


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  4. #14
    Melaine is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    My girls are 15 and I don’t think they are ready. I am sure I would feel differently if we were close with our neighbors but we are not. They are plenty mature but I think it would stress them out.

  5. #15
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    DC2 did one night solo in November at 14 1/2. DC3 was still OOT with local grandparents. DH and I left with DC1 early on a Sunday morning. DC2 had a ride to school Monday morning and a bus ride home. DC3 was dropped off by grandparents about 6 pm on Monday and we got home about 7 pm.

    He was kind of excited about it and did fine in the end. But I think he had some hesitation in the middle of the night. It was kind of a scramble. The original plan was for him to be solo at home during the day and then go to family friend/neighbor for dinner and to spend the night. Except this family got sick. Other neighbors and friends were on call, but he was not comfortable spending the night with them.

  6. #16
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Oldest would need to be 17 or 18 I think. Mine are 15 and 11 and I would not right now. Too many space heaters left on and the like for me to breathe easy about it.
    Last edited by citymama; 01-26-2022 at 07:37 PM.

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  7. #17
    essnce629's Avatar
    essnce629 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I was fine with leaving DS1 for the weekend alone when he was 16. My mom wasn't though and insisted on staying at our house! My boys are almost 6 years apart so we've always taken DS2 with us instead of leaving him home with DS1. Since the pandemic it's no longer been an issue we've had to deal with since my mom has been in our house for 2 years now and DS1 is now in college. So now DH and I can leave and my mom is already here to watch 12 year old DS2.

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  8. #18
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    My oldest is 19 and youngest is 16. The oldest has the common sense of a gnat!! As the youngest has said—“I need an adult around and DS doesn’t count”

    My parents left us when I was 17 and very responsible. I made some bad decisions when left alone for a weekend!! I’m not leaving mine alone until they are in college and home for the summer.


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    "The task of any religion is not to tell us who we are entitled to hate but to teach us who we are required to love."

  9. #19
    scrooks is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I think a friend of ours left her 2 DDs when they were pretty much those ages. Lots of neighbors and family in the area were aware and they did fine. I don’t think I could do it at that age with my crew but it depends on the kids!
    DD 7/07
    DS1 9/09
    DS2 7/13


  10. #20
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    DD is almost 16, and I would feel comfortable leaving her.
    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

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