Funeral etiquette?

[Percycat]

You need to do you. But, if this was a funeral for a good friend of mine, I would go to everything unless there was a reason I couldn't. Personally, my least favorite to go to is the visitation because it makes me uncomfortable as an introvert, but usually once I am there I really appreciate the time to be with my friend. I've been to receiving line type visitations and I've also been to more 'open house' type visitations. You will be able to tell if your friend needs you to stay longer. Lots of time, family will have picture boards or video montages they have put together honoring their family member. I have really enjoyed viewing these and getting a better appreciation for the person who died and a better understanding of the loss my friend is experiencing.

I would go to the funeral and grave site too. I am religious, so it doesn't bother me to hear messages of God's love. I've also been to funerals for friends of non-Christian faiths and it didn't bother me to hear their messages of faith (although I was personally sad because I felt they were missing aspects of joy I find in my faith). I think even if the service is religous, you can attend without feeling compelled to worship and participate respecting other's practice of their faith.

There is usually some type of meal after funerals in my midwest area. Sometimes these are catered by women's groups at the church. But, I have also brought food to include in a potluck. And, I have also brought food to people's homes because a lot of times people who are dealing with a death in the family are also suddenly hosting out of town relatives or their home becomes the gathering place for extended family. You can ask your friend how you can help. I usually bring a salad of some type and a desert of some type.

I'm sorry you and your friend are experiencing this. I expect this will be hard as you remember your brother. Peace to you and your friend.

[twowhat?]

Thanks, everyone. I have no idea if they are Catholic or not...the services at the funeral home are listed as simply "Visitation (2 hr)" and "Funeral Service (1 hr)" followed by "Burial" (1 hr), no mention of mass or anything. I think I will plan to attend the visitation tonight and if it seems poorly attended, I can go to the funeral as well tomorrow. I will skip the burial as I don't consider myself a close family friend. An open casket doesn't bother me.