The closest I've come to being in a book club was ... online. We'd vote on a book, and then discuss in a forum thread. If you didn't read the book, you just ... didn't post in the thread.
I think that, in your case, OP, it sounds like book clubs with this particular person aren't for you.
And maybe your friend needs some other social outlet where they can vent & drink wine, but why they choose book clubs (and then don't read the books!) I can't begin to fathom.
Sending hugs.
==========================================
Liz
DD (3/2010)
"Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle