I used to think my child had two parents until....

[hbridge]

My kid just got sent home from "college bootcamp" with Covid. They are isolating at home. Camp just e-mailed asking why they hadn't logged in virtually today. DC had a meeting that they agreed to attend, but could not figure out how to login virtually, then got mad and yelled at me for trying to help (they are supposed to be in isolation), they never figured out how to login. DH just came in to ask why DC wasn't logging in virtually and what I was going to do about it! Um... why am I in the middle of this. The whole purpose of "college bootcamp" was to get me out of the middle of this!!!! I refuse to fight with DC about school work EVER AGAIN! ARGH... DH, if you have a question, ask DC! The kid is sick with COVID and is in isolation!!! They are missing a program that they have been looking forward to for over two years!!! It is not the same virtually since the skills DC need are not classroom skills. DH, stop blaming ME! If you have questions talk to your kid!

[doberbrat]

Not really directly a DH issue, but DH was driving us home from vacation on Saturday. DD2, from the back seat, calls out "Mommy, can we stop soon so I can go to the bathroom?" I asked her who was driving. "Daddy." Then why did you ask me? "But can we?"

OMG This happens ALL.THE.TIME here and it is infuriating! Just last night, dd1 walked past the kitchen over to me to ask me "What is daddy cooking?"

[Kestrel]

And with school starting back up soon, let's not forget the school office calling the mother, every time! All of our info states to call DH's cell phone first, and they never have! Not once! Last time, we even wrote on top of the info page in red sharpie "Call DH First", but nope.

[jgenie]

OMG This happens ALL.THE.TIME here and it is infuriating! Just last night, dd1 walked past the kitchen over to me to ask me "What is daddy cooking?"

Last night DS2 came upstairs to knock on the bathroom for me to help him open something. DH was sitting at the island in the kitchen - where DS2 picked up the jar he needed opened!


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[bcafe]

We went to DS's freshman parent talk last night. They discussed some changes to the AP process for 2 classes. DH asked if DS was in either of those and I didn't believe so. Well, DS is in one and DH was upset that I didn't know his exact schedule. Um....you are also his parent?

[bcafe]

And with school starting back up soon, let's not forget the school office calling the mother, every time! All of our info states to call DH's cell phone first, and they never have! Not once! Last time, we even wrote on top of the info page in red sharpie "Call DH First", but nope.

Yes! We cannot even change any details like contact numbers because it is grayed out. We need to contact the schools directly. Why?

[PunkyBoo]

I realize this is the B*tching post, and some of these are pretty funny, BUT... I highly recommend watching Fair Play ( it's on Amazon prime for about $5). After watching it, you can purchase the cards to work on balancing out all the "invisible work" you are (we are, since most of the time it's the moms and most divorces are sought by wives) doing in the marriage.
**End of PSA**

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[Peaches Keane]

Semi related:

I used to teach special Ed in another state. In all the years I worked, dads hardly ever showed up for meetings. IIRC, there were 6 meetings that had a dad attend (in 20 yrs.). I even had a student with only a dad parent (deceased mother) and still the dad didn’t attend. We were given the directive to do whatever we think is best and send the forms home, he’d sign and return them.

I am now a SAHM. Our DS has been in special Ed since the beginning of preschool (he received 0-3 services before that). I attended the initial meetings in our old state because DH was at his new job and we were living separately at the time. When the kids and I moved here, and we had a transition meeting, DH had no idea he should attend. “Oh, you don’t need me to do anything with that, do you?” he asked.

I informed him that he SHOULD attend because if something awful did happen to me he would need to know what was going on with all of this. So, he grudgingly attended.

OMG! My name is mud since I informed them I know of their federally mandated responsibilities. DH however is a gushed over saint! He received SO MUCH positive attention since that first meeting that he now insists on coming to every one. Even when he is working! He will Zoom in from an office at his hospital.

I’m glad he’s into it now, but the gushing really gets to me! He’s there because I MADE him do it! (And now he’s in love with all the attention.)

[petesgirl]

Semi related:

I used to teach special Ed in another state. In all the years I worked, dads hardly ever showed up for meetings. IIRC, there were 6 meetings that had a dad attend (in 20 yrs.). I even had a student with only a dad parent (deceased mother) and still the dad didn’t attend. We were given the directive to do whatever we think is best and send the forms home, he’d sign and return them.

I am now a SAHM. Our DS has been in special Ed since the beginning of preschool (he received 0-3 services before that). I attended the initial meetings in our old state because DH was at his new job and we were living separately at the time. When the kids and I moved here, and we had a transition meeting, DH had no idea he should attend. “Oh, you don’t need me to do anything with that, do you?” he asked.

I informed him that he SHOULD attend because if something awful did happen to me he would need to know what was going on with all of this. So, he grudgingly attended.

OMG! My name is mud since I informed them I know of their federally mandated responsibilities. DH however is a gushed over saint! He received SO MUCH positive attention since that first meeting that he now insists on coming to every one. Even when he is working! He will Zoom in from an office at his hospital.

I’m glad he’s into it now, but the gushing really gets to me! He’s there because I MADE him do it! (And now he’s in love with all the attention.)

Wow, that's definitely infuriating. My DH also works too late to attend any school meetings, but if he were home---he would be coming with me also!! I also have him request the first day of school off and he comes with to drop thw kids off that first day and meet their teachers.

[doberbrat]

Yes! We cannot even change any details like contact numbers because it is grayed out. We need to contact the schools directly. Why?

When I filled out the original forms for dd1 at school, dh was a little more present. I put both of us on with him first - you know Mr & Mrs ... and ever since they call him first for everything despite the fact that he never answers his phone or checks vm. The school secretary had to actually unenroll the girls from the record and add them back in as new students to be able to change the primary parent contact