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  1. #1
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default tired of toxic diet culture 24/7

    As a mom of an 11-year-old DD , i have become hyper-aware how pervasive diet culture still is these days, at least in the US. The body positivity movement seems to have definitely kicked off in past few years, but for us Gen X/Millennials there's still too much toxicity out there.

    I have this mom friend with a similar age DD who posts on FB incessantly (and i mean incessantly, like 3 or 4 times a day, every day) about her weightloss and workouts. She is the nicest person, but since the beginning of the year, literally 80% of her posts are about how much weight she's lost this year from exercise/diet, details on what workout she just did that morning/evening (and often how much calories she burned), or body progress pictures from every angle (at least once a week!), with full details on how many inches lost etc. The remaining 20% of posts are vacation pics (with a comment about how much weight she must have gained on said trip), followed by another post several days later noting that she lost all the 12 lbs she gained on vacation in 2 weeks by doing x workout. I keep snoozing her for 60 days but then it expires i forget. The kicker was the other day when she posted a giddy photo showing all the bags of clothing from her closet that she was donating bc they were size 8 and up. Lordy....

    Seriously. I don't get it. I am a mom who loves my Peloton and watch what I eat just like most others, and i love seeing before and after pictures and hearing those stories. But since when did it come culturally acceptable to make your social media identity (where your kids, kids' parents, colleagues see it) nothing but your weight loss details? I don't get it. Is it for accountability? Or wanting a consistent stream of "congratulations" from people, because you're otherwise miserable and hungry? LOL. I mean, unless you are an influencer or fitness instructor or something...why? Does anyone care? LOL.

    My DD starts middle school in couple weeks. She is a tiny little peanut...less than 80 lbs, legs up to her chin...yet i've heard her makes comments like "ugh, this makes me look so fat!" Ugh. i think the toxic diet culture/mentality is still strong in our generation and is contaminating the poor kiddos... sigh..
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 07-29-2022 at 09:04 PM.

  2. #2
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Ugh!! That is so tacky and also obnoxious for that friend to post SO MUCH about 1) herself 2) weight loss/dieting. She sounds like she is seeking constant positive feedback from others.

    It is really sad. I hate it for our kids (girls especially) to hear these types of things.

    I've tried to emphasize to my DD there are all types of people/body types. I talk about her being strong and athletic (she is) and eating healthy foods, but not having any off limit foods. She is thin and muscular and has mentioned occasionally how big her legs are and I just laugh and tell her she is strong and perfectly made. I think some of this reflection is normal for kids as their bodies change from little kids and grow into teen bodies. It's true they are changing and feeling different so it's important to keep a dialogue going.
    K

  3. #3
    dogmom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    It might help to label it what it is, a mental health problem of disordered eating. Is it influenced by culture in it’s state and form? Quite possibly. But the obsessive level you are talking about? That is some kind of anxiety/depression either masquerading as an eating disorder or an actually eating disorder or both. I don’t get mad at those people, I worry about those people. If I know a person well enough I’m like “Are you OK?” If the response is I am great I lost X, I would be, yeah, that is exactly what I am talking about.

    There is the pervasive cultural notion that thin is desirable, that “fat” must be unhealthy (not true). We all fight that. There are times my fight was better than other times. Mostly I’ve shed it because at 57? Seriously, I got other crap to do. But I do see it creeping in when I look at my youngest’s size. I try to put it a health context, but I know it’s fat bias in my heart. I keep my mouth shut and work on myself and monitor any micro aggressions that sneak out.

    I do think there can be phases when one goes a little crazy and really obsesses about weight and exercise because of the toxic cultural message and needing a sense of control. (I went a little overboard in a premenopausal year before I turned 50.) But those things can resolve when a situational stressor is over. I can’t tell you the number of women I see that go on this weight loss journey and in the end the weight they loss to make them happy equals their husband’s weight.

  4. #4
    bcafe is online now Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Is she a "health coach"? Quotations because I have a coworker who is into a MLM and is constantly posting about this stuff, whether FB, IG, or Snap. I think she has to do this for the company....although, the company is never named outright.

  5. #5
    mom2binsd is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcafe View Post
    Is she a "health coach"? Quotations because I have a coworker who is into a MLM and is constantly posting about this stuff, whether FB, IG, or Snap. I think she has to do this for the company....although, the company is never named outright.
    It's probably Optavia, and it's a horrible diet MLM, I have a few friends who do it and it creates terrible eating habits and super expensive. The others are Modere, Tranont (Glow collagen at 90.00 a month will get rid of cellulite, wrinkles and joint pain - sign me up ).

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    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    It’s hard because even lifestyle choices like being a vegan can walk someone down the road to viewing food as the enemy. It’s hard to know what our kids will pick up on. I know my kids have taken away some strange food lessons- they didn’t articulate them when they were younger but as teens have shared interesting thoughts.


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  7. #7
    bcafe is online now Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mom2binsd View Post
    It's probably Optavia, and it's a horrible diet MLM, I have a few friends who do it and it creates terrible eating habits and super expensive. The others are Modere, Tranont (Glow collagen at 90.00 a month will get rid of cellulite, wrinkles and joint pain - sign me up ). Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk
    Oh, it is Opta....via (didn't want it be spelled out). It's so restrictive and expensive! I've heard the "fuelings" taste terrible too.

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    And for boys too. When I took DS1 to his annual physical, he was asking the doctor if he was fat too?!? I was horrified and the doctor explained he was actually at his ideal weight, and need to eat more protein than anything as he’s an athletic who trains 4x a week with games every weekend.

    I asked him what prompted him thinking he was fat, and he said his tummy wasn’t as flat as some of his teammates. So I’ve been noticing him declining deserts, chips and some soda even more now. He didn’t have them to begin with as he is blessed not to have a sweet tooth, prefers savory things. So the fat culture is very real and alive among boys too.


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    Mummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14

  9. #9
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Default tired of toxic diet culture 24/7

    Quote Originally Posted by DualvansMommy View Post
    And for boys too. When I took DS1 to his annual physical, he was asking the doctor if he was fat too?!? I was horrified and the doctor explained he was actually at his ideal weight, and need to eat more protein than anything as he’s an athletic who trains 4x a week with games every weekend.

    I asked him what prompted him thinking he was fat, and he said his tummy wasn’t as flat as some of his teammates. So I’ve been noticing him declining deserts, chips and some soda even more now. He didn’t have them to begin with as he is blessed not to have a sweet tooth, prefers savory things. So the fat culture is very real and alive among boys too.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    For sure boys too. My oldest is just finally coming to understand that at 6’ and 143 he is in no way fat. And ds2 at 5’7” and 130 is also not fat and knows it but is freaked out at the idea of getting fat.


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  10. #10
    petesgirl is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcafe View Post
    Is she a "health coach"? Quotations because I have a coworker who is into a MLM and is constantly posting about this stuff, whether FB, IG, or Snap. I think she has to do this for the company....although, the company is never named outright.
    This was my first thought too....is she trying to sell some workout plan? I have a friend who does that through Beachbody and she makes money by getting other people to buy a Beachbody plan too.
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

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