Advice when family needs money.

[o_mom]

I'm also disillusioned to find out that medicare doesn't pay for all this stuff, especially huge dental bills. I thought that would be at least partially covered. What a mess.

Do they have a Medicare Advantage plan (Part C)?

Open enrollment starts next month. I would talk to an advisor about the different plan options for them. Some of the plans will cover dental and vision. There are a ton of choices, and friends have said that an advisor can be invaluable in sorting through based on their particular medical needs.

While it won't help with past bills, this is something you can help them with without giving them money directly. They may qualify for state assistance with the premiums as well.

[chlobo]

Big hugs. My ILs also didn't plan well and at some point we had to help them figure out how to make what they had last.

I wonder if a senior agency in your area might have someone on staff who has expertise in this kind of thing? For example, there is an organization in our area that has lots of information about aspects of aging, most geared towards lower income seniors: https://www.minutemansenior.org/our-services/overview. Maybe there is a similar agency in your area that would have some advice on how to go about straightening this out and planning for the future.

Also, the local COA (Council on Aging) may also have a social worker on staff who helps with these issues. These services are usually free. This is what it says on our local COA website with respect to that "...The COA has an Outreach and Program Manager and a part time social worker who are available to provide consultation, advice, and referrals. We work with family members to help identify available support resources and provide telephone reassurance and home visits to seniors." Maybe having an outside 3rd party can help remove some of the emotion of dealing with this.

[MSWR0319]

Do they have a Medicare Advantage plan (Part C)?

Open enrollment starts next month. I would talk to an advisor about the different plan options for them. Some of the plans will cover dental and vision. There are a ton of choices, and friends have said that an advisor can be invaluable in sorting through based on their particular medical needs.

While it won't help with past bills, this is something you can help them with without giving them money directly. They may qualify for state assistance with the premiums as well.

Yes! My parents use an advisor each year and it's been very helpful to help them figure out which plan works best to cover their needs for medical, prescription, dental, and vision.

[hbridge]

DO NOT GIVE THEM MONEY! When my grandmother was struggling financially, a lawyer told me parents to NOT give her money, but instead find services to help her. When my IL were in a similar situation, that is the route DH and I took, as well. It broke DH's heart, but he came to terms with it.

When I was researching how to help the in-laws, I ran across information that in some states, children can be held financially responsible for their parents. Courts can actually order that children are responsible for various bills. I panicked when I first saw this and then realized that it was mostly when the children had provided some financial support in the past. That was when DH agreed to not give them money.

[carolinamama]

This sounds like a really hard spot for you and your DH. I agree that you shouldn't give them money but help find services and best options for their position. If it helps, think of it as breaking the cycle and actually helping your DCs in the long run. It enables you to save for your goals and future so you are financially sound rather than needing help from your kids at that age.