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  1. #1
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Default 3 teenagers are going to put me in an asylum

    Technically it’s 4 but with my oldest in college, he’s not contributing to the insanity in our house. DS2 is the most self- absorbed kid I know. His room is a mess, our garage is full of his mess and everything is dramatic because he’s recovering from a broken ankle. Thank GOD he’s getting all A’s in school and doesn’t need my help. His sister is the next most self-absorbed kid I know and she is in a million activities: pro professional dance program, independent ballet company, dance internship at the dance school, competitive tap group, Boy Scouts, crochet club, church group and today she copied me on the email where she confirmed a meeting for the school yearbook. She is getting straight a’s but she’s a MONSTER to be around when she is stressed. None of us can stand her. And she doesn’t drive yet so I’m the chauffeur. Then there is ds3 who is failing 3 classes. Since I became aware of his grades I’ve been working with him every day after school. I drill his sister’s notes with him everyday. Tonight he tells me he has a quiz tomorrow and he isn’t finished with the worksheet. I didn’t know he had a worksheet. We talk homework every day and he didn’t tell me about it. So once again, he isn’t ready. His last quiz was a D.

    I ask ds2 to help study with him (because he is very familiar with this class) and he whines and says how busy he is and cant be bothered and was hoping to play his guitar. I’m going to scream! I’ve been working my but off for all THREE of these kids- driving them to activities and doctors appointments and studying every single night. Every free moment they are home I’m driving them somewhere or working on studying with them. And they can’t be bothered to help each other. And the DRAMA and the ANGST they are giving are killing me.

    I even dropped out of my anniversary trip with Dh so I could be here to work with ds3. And I don’t think it’s going to help him so I should have just gone.
    Last edited by gatorsmom; 10-02-2022 at 06:22 PM.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  2. #2
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. That's a lot of teenagers. My MIL grew up with 5 kids born in 3 years (inc. 2 sets of twins born 14 mos apart!). She had all five of them in high school at once. She told me once that as hard as it was when they were toddlers it was EQUALLY hard if not harder when they were teens. Know that you are not alone in feeling that. I'm so sorry that you have to miss your trip and your kids are not cooperating. The struggle is real. We feel you!

  3. #3
    WatchingThemGrow is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Same! Viola and swim, choir, bible study chauffer here...and XC basketball and ultimate practice picker upper...and "Your teacher says you have math HW every day, why do you say you don't every day?"

    The difference here is that when they were crazy toddlers, I didn't think I could last for another 16 years of the mayhem. Now how much longer do we have? 30 months?

  4. #4
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    *waves in middle school*

    I emailed most of DD's teachers when interim grades were posted & noticed that several assignments & projects were missing. She yelled at me for telling her she had assignments missing and she was going to get her work done before she got any device time.

    So, needless to say, she's not getting much device time.
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    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  5. #5
    cuca_ is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Default 3 teenagers are going to put me in an asylum

    I hear you! I have 3 teens and one I. College. And my DD3 sounds a lot like your DD. I’m currently listening to Untangled on audible and was happy to learn that DD3s behavior is normal. My older DDs have been dream teens but were challenging toddlers/kids with ADHD. DD3 was a dream toddler/child and a switch was turned around age 12 re: her behavior at home. . Can you hire a tutor for DS3. I find it easier to delegate that stuff and it eliminated potential conflicts with the child. Also, maybe find an executive skills coach for him. I have heard that there are some that will work with students virtually. Hugs to you. I totally get it. Even with one kid who drives and another in college, I often feel like I am busier than ever!

  6. #6
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Dang! I know this is a BP but I would have dd drop some activities unless she can organize some transportation (I think I'd still drop stuff just because that's a lot- and my ds2 does a ton of stuff but it's all at school so I have to do limited driving).

  7. #7
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I hear you and I only have 2 with WAY fewer activities. I go back and forth between thinking I'm not going to last 1 more minute and realizing that we have very little time left with them underfoot.
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and ... a mini poodle!

  8. #8
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    dang that is a lot!! mine are not even teens yet and it's already hard. And mine aren't in any extracurriculars!! the drama and the rudeness are what gets to me.

    hope you get to have a break soon! Tweens/teens can be so mentally exhausting. Nothing ever seems to be good enough for them!

  9. #9
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    I have 2 teens and that’s plenty. DD is awesome, but she’s overcommitted and exhausted and doesn’t take kindly to any advice/constructive criticism. Tonight she started crying because I told her she wasn’t prioritizing the PSAT in 10 days and she claimed she had no time. I held my tongue but wanted to say, “well, you spent 4 hours out on Sunday looking for an outfit for the Harry styles concert this coming weekend.”


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

  10. #10
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I forgot that I posted this and just saw everyones' responses. I'm sorry you are all going through this but it's nice not to be alone. The hair salons and Clairol company should thank us!!! Someone here said a long time ago that our kids would need us more as teenagers than as toddlers. Boy, they were so right.


    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    Dang! I know this is a BP but I would have dd drop some activities unless she can organize some transportation (I think I'd still drop stuff just because that's a lot- and my ds2 does a ton of stuff but it's all at school so I have to do limited driving).
    As it turns out, when I heard DD composing an email about joining the school yearbook committee, I snapped. I'm embarrassed how loud I was but she got the picture. She agreed she is overcommitted and composed the email to apologize to the yearbook committee that she couldn't join. Fortunately for me, most of DD's activities are at her dance studio - the prepro group, the ballet company, the tap company and the internship they have her working on are all at the same place. So I don't have to drive DD around much. But that doesn't improve her attitude. She's still stressed out and mean.

    We did put up a notice that we were looking for a tutor for DS3 at the university, tech school and in the neighborhood. No response.
    Last edited by gatorsmom; 10-09-2022 at 05:39 PM.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

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