FIL IS A SELFISH, CHILDISH, CRITICAL BASTARD WHO IS KILLING HIS WIFE. SHE DRINKS BECAUSE HE NAGS HER AND HE NAGS HER BECAUSE HE’S AN INSECURE BABY WHO DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE. He’s unhappy with himself and so he takes it out on her. Ok, I needed to shout that out.
He’s 77yo and he’s an absolute asshole. All he does is bitch about MIL. She is drinking again and I know why. It’s because she is stuck living with him and all he does is criticize her. It’s all the time, everyday. Even in public now (he used to be better behaved in public). Living with him, I would drink too!!
Dh doesn’t tiptoe around his dad but doesn’t take him head-on either. So she is dying. It’s playing out in front of me. Dh and his siblings are all rushing around making a big fuss and talking and complaining but not really getting through to their dad or making any progress. And in the meantime, MIL is dying. It’s obvious. She’s thrown in the towel. It’s so sad.
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11-09-2022 #1
Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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I can’t say it IRL so I’m venting here..
" I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi
"This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.
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11-09-2022 #2
Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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I am so sorry.
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11-09-2022 #3
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I’m sorry. That sounds awful. Your poor MIL must feel trapped
DD (3/06)
DS1 (7/09)
DS2 (8/13)
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11-09-2022 #4
Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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I'm so sorry! Strength to you all, it must be unbearable.
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11-09-2022 #5
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This is really hard thing. My FIL is like that, and I’m still amazed my nearly 94 MIL is still alive, only thing they have going for them is that they both stopped drinking except for odd glass at thanksgiving & Xmas.
As hard it is, do you think MIL would enjoy a gateway break with her own family like sisters or brothers? My MIL sister takes her out for lunch weekly and sometimes host her sleepover for a weekend too.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ProMummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14
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11-09-2022 #6
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Oh no prayers to your family and your MIL.
Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkAnnie
WOHM to two wonderful little girls born in April
DD E, 17
DD L, 13,
baby 2, 4-2009 (our Tri-18 baby)
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11-09-2022 #7
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Oh I feel so bad for her! I'm so sorry. Here's praying she finds something that brings her joy and turns here away from what hurts her health and happiness!
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11-09-2022 #8
Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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that sounds horrible to be happening and to witness. I am so sorry
DS #1 Summer 05
DS #2 Summer 07
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11-09-2022 #9
Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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That sounds like a terrible situation. I can tell you wish you could make things different. Please be gentle with yourself.
momma to DD 12/08 & DS 3/13
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11-09-2022 #10
Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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I’m sorry. Is it possible he has a mental illness? It took 12 years for me to connect my husbands behavior to mental illness and another 4 years of trying to get him help before I had to give up and separate.
In these situations I think it is best to only focus on what is in your control (likely none of it) and then decide what boundaries you want to set in order to manage it.
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