DS is 18 soon - what forms?

[niccig]

I remember reading here about some forms you can have child fill out once child is 18. I forget exactly what forms. Can anyone help me out.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

Check out https://mamabearlegalforms.com/

[mom2binsd]

Look at your states healthcare power of attorney, have him fill out forms at his doctor's office and with your health insurance to give you access to his records. You don't need to pay for anything at this point.

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[gymnbomb]

I would also have a conversation with him and think carefully about what you really need. I remember being 19 and needing to get a test done but being hesitant to go to the doctor because I didn’t want my parents to be notified by our insurance that I had that particular test done (I now know they would not have been told any details, but I didn’t know that then). So while I think making sure you are allowed to make medical decisions for him if he is not able to do so himself is important, I wouldn’t be so quick to jump into getting access to his other medical records unless there is a reason you really need to.


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[hbridge]

Talk to your son and see what he thinks he needs. My child wanted me to continue talking to doctors and dealing with insurance issues. HOWEVER, they cannot sign the forms until they are 18 and the forms are only good for a year. When DC had a medical issue come up right after their birthday, we were scrambling to get the form signed so I could converse with the doctor. With a medically complicated kid, it is something DC sees as valuable. I think, however, for most kids, they are probably good on their own. You might not need access.

Make sure you check in with the high school to see what you can still access. Our alternative high school introduced all the paperwork for the education piece to each student when the kids turned 18; explained everything and answered all their questions. My DC could care less about them communicating with the parents so they signed all the forms to continue communication, but I know a few families who lost contact with the school at age 18 since the kids would not consent to shared information. Remember, too, that at 18, the kids can sign themselves out of school.

Look into Durable Power of Attorney, if your child wants this. Our lawyer recommended it and DC agreed; but wants to revisit in a few years. Having friends that have gone through the guardianship process, it was a decision DC did not take lightly and we talked about it a lot before getting the document.

The goal is to not need any of these forms signed. If your child does not have any recurring medical issues and can manage their medical and financial situation on their own, see what happens without them. They can always sign the documents if needed.

Don't forget to register for the draft and to vote. Make sure that you set up absentee/mail-in voting if going to the poles is not an option (especially if college is far).

I declared DC's 18th birthday, the year of the paperwork .

[dogmom]

I would also have a conversation with him and think carefully about what you really need. I remember being 19 and needing to get a test done but being hesitant to go to the doctor because I didn’t want my parents to be notified by our insurance that I had that particular test done (I now know they would not have been told any details, but I didn’t know that then). So while I think making sure you are allowed to make medical decisions for him if he is not able to do so himself is important, I wouldn’t be so quick to jump into getting access to his other medical records unless there is a reason you really need to.


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This! Also, your adult child can revoke whatever forms you want them to sign whenever they want. You should have them sign whatever your state’s advanced directive is, the AARP has a list of them. (We will skip over the craziness of having the form vary from state to state) It will come into effect if they cannot make a decision for themselves.
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/fina...ce-directives/

I think many people think that if something happens, like crash, that you won’t be able to make decisions or have access. It is not like that. Hospitals do call next of kin. They will involve you in decision making. But if your child is competent (can only be determined by a court) and/or has capacity (determined by physician) they will make decisions and sign paperwork for themselves. So the question is what do you think these forms will give you? Do you worry your child can’t make adult decisions? Are you worried there will be some mental health crisis and you won’t know? If you do have them sign a form do you expect it to last forever? How long? Will you let them do the same to you in 10 or 20 years? All I had my child do was sign a Health Care Proxy, our state’s advanced directive. The best thing you can do is have a discussion first with your now adult and outline your concerns.

[JBaxter]

I have 3 over 18 and have never signed any type of paperwork. I’ve gotten questions texted during dr appointments but that’s the extent of it

[JBaxter]

Double post

[JBaxter]

Double post

[mom_hanna]

I think many people think that if something happens, like crash, that you won’t be able to make decisions or have access. It is not like that. Hospitals do call next of kin. They will involve you in decision making. But if your child is competent (can only be determined by a court) and/or has capacity (determined by physician) they will make decisions and sign paperwork for themselves.

This. I was in a car accident when I was 24 and the paramedics and hospital contacted my parents, who made all the decisions until I was conscious, alert, and coherent to make them on my own (about a week). So you don't need it for those situations unless there is a reason you don't think your kid can make appropriate decisions.