Does anyone actually LIKE to attend work holiday parties?

[jenmcadams]

I own a small consulting firm (approx 80 people) and in general, people say they love our annual Holiday Party (and they never seem to leave at the end ), but we decided to move it to January this year due to schedule issues and I've already heard from several people how glad they are that it's not in December. We 100% don't expect everyone to come and our staff skews young, so I think they appreciate the chance to socialize, drink/eat, and see people (we've been fully flexible and hybrid since Covid and people tend to like to get together IRL since so many of them work from home)

[bisous]

Why can’t dh go solo? Plenty of people don’t have a significant other so it’s not crazy to be there solo. Childcare issues are totally valid for skipping. Dh should go though.


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So...me being out of town means that I'm definitely not planning on attending. That isn't the issue at all. It is that I'm out of town...so DH being out late and far away makes childcare difficult.

[bisous]

I own a small consulting firm (approx 80 people) and in general, people say they love our annual Holiday Party (and they never seem to leave at the end ), but we decided to move it to January this year due to schedule issues and I've already heard from several people how glad they are that it's not in December. We 100% don't expect everyone to come and our staff skews young, so I think they appreciate the chance to socialize, drink/eat, and see people (we've been fully flexible and hybrid since Covid and people tend to like to get together IRL since so many of them work from home)

That's such a great fix! It isn't as if holiday parties are really about the spirit of Christmas after all, lol. Spread out the "cheer" all year long!

[bisous]

As for the kids, do what feels right to you. Could you have grandma come over and spend the night, while still hiring a babysitter or mother's helper to play with the kids? Then you know you have "adult coverage", but also a fun teen to entertain.

Other people would really stress her out because they don't "do it" right, lol. She's a former teacher and is fantastic with my kids but doesn't have the energy to keep up with them. She's highly critical of any time I've hired "help" for her and it just totally stresses her out which stresses me out! I think I'm going to have to hire a babysitter. I'll start looking now.

[SnuggleBuggles]

So...me being out of town means that I'm definitely not planning on attending. That isn't the issue at all. It is that I'm out of town...so DH being out late and far away makes childcare difficult.

Ah gotcha. Don't have him miss it. I'm sure there's a good solution beyond your mom. It's just one night. It'll work out.

[lizzywednesday]

Our family doesn't hate them in theory, but coming near Christmas, during the evening and taking place in the city makes them highly inconvenient. ...

Anyone else a scrooge about holiday work parties?

I mostly enjoyed work holiday parties, but I admit that I enjoyed them a lot more when I was childless and when the location(s) were more convenient to the office, so it didn't impact my commute too much.

After we switched office locations in 2009, it became more challenging to balance the split workday with getting to the party location. Which, because the members of the committee organizing the party were single, childless people based in Manhattan & Brooklyn, was in NYC. (I live in a car-dependent suburb near Princeton, NJ and have to drive to the train station if I'm taking public transit, etc., etc.)

I was pregnant with DD, so it was actually the last holiday party I was able to attend - no working out childcare arrangements, pickup times, or in-case-of-emergency pickup people - because the sheer scale of the logistics required to get to NYC, attend the party, and get back in time to pick up the kid was overwhelming.

As for it being "political" (in the office politics sense,) well, I feel like one of the reasons I was among those on the team's chopping block during the downsizing sweeps in 2014 was because I couldn't work out how to participate in mandatory socialization opportunities like team lunches and office parties. It stinks - you can be really good at your job, but if you don't put in the social time, you're expendable.

[bisous]

As for it being "political" (in the office politics sense,) well, I feel like one of the reasons I was among those on the team's chopping block during the downsizing sweeps in 2014 was because I couldn't work out how to participate in mandatory socialization opportunities like team lunches and office parties. It stinks - you can be really good at your job, but if you don't put in the social time, you're expendable.

I do rather dislike these kinds of things but I also think this is the reality and I'm really sorry that worked out so poorly for you. Being a parent makes things so much more complicated! Most (I think all?) of DH's team right now have no children at all and we have four which makes DH really different just from the get go. I do think that his coworkers actually enjoy getting together. DH is going to make the effort to go. There are so many "political" details throughout the year, but not being present at the one social activity at the years end is bigger than the rest.

Anyway, it will be inconvenient but we will probably find a solution! I just wish either DS2 or I or even my Dad was around! The confluence of the three of us being out of town on the date of the party makes it tricky. And why are we out of town? Because we're picking up DS1 from the semester of college, which happens around Winter Break.

[wendibird22]

I consider them a necessary evil. When I was in my prior role it was a small dept and dept head would have about 10 employees, their spouses, and kids to his and his wife's house for a holiday dinner. Finding a day that worked for most was super hard, but we all enjoyed the downtime to socialize with the people we worked with daily and see their families.

Now I'm C-suite and the executive level has 3 separate holiday gatherings with an expectation that the execs attend all. Thankfully one of them was just for the senior execs (9 people) so we were able to convince our leader to move that from an evening gathering to a luncheon during the work day. We all have kids and so this one being after work made it feel more like a chore than fun. Luncheon is now fun. The other two I must attend and make small talk. I'm an introvert so it's the worst. One of the two my DH is invited to, but we are so busy with kid things that he doesn't attend. With sports, DD2 birthday in another week, I have work travel, etc, just makes adding several after work obligations that are meant to be jovial, just make me feel bah humbug!

[LD92599]

I mostly enjoyed them way back when it was a small group we'd go out to dinner.
Before Covid, we would take everyone from the office out for dinner. But then somewhere along the way, some I guess disliked the dinner ideas so we switched to lunch either catered in or we'd all go out.

Now that we're all remote, and across 3 time zones, it's too hard and honestly...the employees don't want to do anything company related on their own time. We'll likely gift each employee a digital gift card of their choosing instead.

[niccig]

DH’s work goes to Vegas and this year will be the first time in a few years. They pay for the hotel room Friday and Saturday night and an amazing dinner Saturday night. Friday night is drinks at the bar, Saturday we usually hang out as we don’t gamble. DS comes with us as he can stay in the hotel room by himself. We thought he’d want to stay home this year, but he wants to come. He brings his x-box and a couple of DH’s younger colleagues often end up gaming with him.
So yes we enjoy the Christmas party!!

In your situation, DH has to go! It’s important to be seen at these things. I’d work out how you can make it as easy as possible for your mom to have the kids


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