Why is my family so bad at respecting boundaries?

[khm]

You could try to turn it around on her if you can. Something like "We told you about our restrictions. I'm sorry you chose a day & time that we are not able to attend." Then it's thier fault they scheduled it so you couldn't confortably be there.

Honestly, I do agree and would be tempted to put it back on her like that. But, at the same time, even without the medical restrictions - no one is *required* to attend a kid's b-day party that takes up an entire, precious weekend day, let alone two weekend days in short succession. Like, just no.

It's incredibly selfish and icky to pull others in to guilt you and make it such A Thing.

It'd be just as valid for someone with no medical/driving issues, like if your husband could go and you STILL chose to skip it. That'd be fine and absolutely your prerogative.

[bisous]

I know the feeling. You feel bad, but it really doesn't work for you so you have to let the guilt go! I think I'm getting from you that had circumstances been different you would absolutely go. It IS ok not to go anyway, really, truly, but that's not the vibe I'm getting from your post. I think that in such cases it must be especially frustrating because your intentions are to be supportive but you're STILL getting criticism and lack of support. Just do what is right for you and your family and remember there will be lots of opportunities to be supportive of your extended family. This party is just not going to work!

[StantonHyde]

Why on God's green earth is she dong a Friday night kids bday party??? *I* don't want to go out on Friday night-I want to go home and relax after a week of work. And the rush hour traffic on the freeway I think you have to take is a total pain!!! No, just no. And add MS to that--uh, you are not being selfish. heck, your mom can drive you if it's that imporatant. I am sorry!!! Stay strong!!!!

[KpbS]

“I can’t drive at night and DH is working that day/night. Sorry to miss the party!”

I’m sorry they are giving you grief. I get wanting to include everyone, but that day/time won’t work for you all.
Your mom is out of bounds calling you prideful. Safety conscious, smart, etc yes.

[petesgirl]

Why on God's green earth is she dong a Friday night kids bday party??? *I* don't want to go out on Friday night-I want to go home and relax after a week of work. And the rush hour traffic on the freeway I think you have to take is a total pain!!! No, just no. And add MS to that--uh, you are not being selfish. heck, your mom can drive you if it's that imporatant. I am sorry!!! Stay strong!!!!

Right?? By Friday night, I'm tired and just want to veg in my own house. Realistically it would take us two hours to get there because it starts at 6 and we would be driving in rush hour traffic the whole way. Then the party will be at least 3 hours because they are feeding dinner and then showing a movie. And that's if they managed to start on time which they don't usually so if we went we would probably be home after 10. No thanks.

My mom offered to drive us but she lives 2 hrs in the opposite direction so she would end up driving 4 extra hours and not getting home until after midnight which I just think is ridiculous for this. That's why she called me prideful "because I won't let anyone help me". I'm not being prideful, I'm being practical! This just isn't worth all the extra everything it would be for my parents to come pick us up.

[mom2binsd]

Who shows a movie at a birthday party, is it a kids sleepover? You are dodging a bullet!

Sent from my SM-G998U using Tapatalk

[DualvansMommy]

You could try to turn it around on her if you can. Something like "We told you about our restrictions. I'm sorry you chose a day & time that we are not able to attend." Then it's thier fault they scheduled it so you couldn't confortably be there.

I wouldn’t do that, as it’ll just show them flexibility they may change party date then expect OP to come cuz after all, we’ve changed dates for you.

Bottom line, no one is entitled to anyone time, much less the demanding expectant structure from SIL. Just saying no it doesn’t work for us should be enough as it is. Your mom is the enabler and probably need boundaries but that’s not on you though. The more I hear about this party, you’re seriously dodging a bullet…a movie on top of the party too?? That’s a helluva long evening/night.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[wendibird22]

The more I hear about this party, you’re seriously dodging a bullet…a movie on top of the party too?? That’s a helluva long evening/night.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Plus who expects the adults to stay and watch a movie at a kid party?