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  1. #1
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    Default Anything different about bat mitzvah vs bar mitzvah?

    DS2 just got invited to his first bat mitzvah. Between him and DS1 they've attended 6 bar mitzvahs. Is there anything different we should know when in comes to a bat mitzvah? I'm assuming the gift is the same, money in increments of 18?

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  2. #2
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    Just girl v boy. That’s really about it. In your neck of the woods, everything is pretty laid back when it comes to Judaism


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    Yes, still cash in multiples of 18.

  4. #4
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    As others have said no real differences - bar and bat are just not gender-neutral terms, so as said above its just referring to boy or girl.
    lucky single mom to 20 yr old dd and 17 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  5. #5
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    A girl has a bat mitzvah, a boy has a bar mitzvah.
    Gifts in multiples of $18
    If it's just your son going, he may want to give something specific to the friend - we generally do checks/cash only when we're going too

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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by citymama View Post
    A girl has a bat mitzvah, a boy has a bar mitzvah.
    Gifts in multiples of $18
    If it's just your son going, he may want to give something specific to the friend - we generally do checks/cash only when we're going too
    Yeah, just he's going. It's not a close friend, I'm thinking she invited the entire 8th grade. She and DS2 are 2 of the 5 new 8th graders to the school this year. I knew bat mitzvah was for a girl and bar mitzvah was for a boy, I just didn't know if the ceremonies were any different.

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  7. #7
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    One more question! The ceremony is Saturday morning and the party is Sunday night. When should DS2 give the card? At the ceremony or reception?
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  8. #8
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    At the party.
    Traditionally, you don't give gifts on shabbat. Lots of reform jews don't pay any attention to those rules, but the fact that the party is on Sunday makes me think it's more likely that they observe shabbat. At the party, they'll have a card box for sure. At the temple, someone will be scrambling to figure out what to do with it.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by candaceb View Post
    At the party.
    Traditionally, you don't give gifts on shabbat. Lots of reform jews don't pay any attention to those rules, but the fact that the party is on Sunday makes me think it's more likely that they observe shabbat. At the party, they'll have a card box for sure. At the temple, someone will be scrambling to figure out what to do with it.
    The reason the party was on Sunday was because another classmate's bat mitzvah was also on Saturday, so they switched the party to Sunday since the same kids would be attending both.

    DS2 had a fun time! I'm sure they're all very tired at school today!

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