not a fail if he needs medical help.
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I agree with the others, find a way, asap to get up there. Him waking up and getting to class is a priority, just as taking meds/eating properly is. He's there for college, and there are plenty of tools to get him up and out of the house, so I guess, being able to talk to him about WHY he can't get to class will be something you really can't do unless you are sitting in front of him.
I get wanting to keep him up there, based on how your household is set up, he doesn't have much independence (it's not your fault it's just how your household works with the younger siblings etc). He needs to develop these skills. It sounds like he's made some headway with eating, and again it will be imperative that you address all the areas of concern and help with problem solving, like why he didn't go get shampoo- it's not like he had no money or there aren't stores he can access. College is about learning these life skills, but I think he really needs your guidance and to see you up there helping him, will make it much more effective.
This is exactly why you have that emergency fund (and impressive that you guys have built it up!). Is you DH off of work now? If so, is he available to step in at home to help, it's unfortunate he was laid off, but it would be an unexpected blessing as I know you worry about how the little ones do when you are gone. However, I think DS1 is the priority right now.
Any update? Hope its still going ok.
Just checking in. Hope things are going well.
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Yes, update please. I hope he is doing okay
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DD (3/06)
DS1 (7/09)
DS2 (8/13)
Has it really been three weeks? This is the hard part of online conversations- can’t just call and check in. Bisous, please know we’re thinking of you and your family.
I hope all is ok with you and your family bisous, we are all here for you!
Hey guys! Just wanted to update since some are asking. DS1 ended up dropping all of his classes. He was approached by the administration of the school and told that his professors had reached out and there is no possible way of passing his classes. Apparently, he was attending class but doing nothing else. They were kind enough to allow him to backdate the drop so that he only has "w"s on his transcript rather than "uw"s which have a greater impact.
He wants to stay up there and he got himself a job! It isn't much, just 3 hours a day for $10 an hour and he'll only be working for a few weeks, but I'm happy that he will have more to do in his day and a little more time to practice being a responsible adult. We're planning on picking him up a week before the term officially ends (since he isn't actually in classes!) and we'll do a family trip in Yellowstone. Originally we had planned the trip for the year before but the roads flooded out literally the day before we were supposed to leave. We are able to use all the money left over in our travel fund so we aren't even dipping into savings.
DH's job search is going slow. He's been approached by several friends who are freelancing and have ample work to share with him but he can't officially work until his separation date. For now the plan is to continue to send out resumes/interview, and begin working at least a day after the separation date so he can get his full settlement. If he doesn't have full time employment by that time it is almost guaranteed that he'll be able to do some freelancing. But by the end of December we'll need something if only for access to medical benefits!
Thank you for all your thoughts and advice!