Originally Posted by
georgiegirl
I’m mean and I wouldn’t let him stay if he can’t attend class regularly. Isn’t he taking a reduced load? Is he failing the classes? I’d monitor his blood sugar more to see if he’s taking care of himself. I do think you need to go and checks out how he’s really doing: is he showering regularly, is he actually eating food that is okay for him to eat? Is he doing any assignments? (Adding that I have a kid with similar neurodivergence.)
I would use this as the carrot to allow ds1 to stay on campus. If he really is happier there, then he has to pull all that other stuff (getting to class, hygiene, health, meals, meds) in line if he wants to stay.
If he’s really happy, then I still think you should try to find ways to make it possible. I think this means you need to go up and see him. It’s best doing it asap while your littles are in school during the day. Lean on church friends to help with childcare after school and transportation.
I don’t have a problem using the word fail as long as it’s used matter-of-factly. My ds1 failed Calculus 2. It meant he is taking it this summer. If he fails other classes, he may have to retake those too. It’s been a very good learning experience for him. But I don’t think I’d use the word fail to refer to life experiences. Your ds1 is learning so much about life and it’s scary for everyone. It’s not a fail unless he ends up in the hospital again. And I’d also suggest that when you go see him, don’t freak out. Whatever you find when you go see him, just a smile and an accepting hug. I freaked out a bit when we saw ds1 on a break and it didn’t help. It honestly doesn’t matter if his hair is overgrown and he only wears pajamas to class as long as he is clean and healthy. It’s his life now and my job is about advising choices. You say you want a girlfriend. Try washing your hair and clothes. You want friends, attend activities and clubs. Lots of choices.
" I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi
"This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.