Let me start off by saying that it took a lot of courage for me to post this, and whatever you have to say, please be gentle. Just writing this out is scary, and I don't really know where to start.
I have suspected my husband of cheating on me for years. When I first started suspecting it, I thought I was going crazy...that it couldn't possibly be true. What I think got me suspicious was that he seemed to be secretive with his phone, and when I would look at his history, it had been cleared. I remember going grocery shopping at night after the kids were in bed and coming home, and realizing that the quilt on our bed was a different orientation. The seams are usually vertical, and they were horizontal.
Fast forward a couple of years and there was a mom on my son's baseball team that really flirted with him. If I would walk up when they were talking, she would quick run away. I saw her later at a bball game, and i could see her gazing at him, and when I walked up, she quick looked the other way and walked away without acknowledging me. I brought this to his attention, and he responded that he doesn't know what's up with her and that he can't help the way she acts around him. To his credit, he did not seem to be flirting back. Her and her then-husband divorced a couple of years ago bc she had an affair.
Other things that have made me suspect cheating is that he seems to have an insatiable appetite for sex. And he does things in the bedroom that are different than what we've done before. When I went away for a couple of days last summer, I came home, and our quilt was on the bed the wrong way again. When I asked him about it, he just said he hadn't touched it. I was doing something on his phone last week, and happened upon a picture he had taken of a date from our paper calendar that I would be gone during the day. And then another one where I was gone for the weekend. The kids did have a lot going on that weekend, so maybe he took it to help himself remember the times, but I can't see any reason for the picture of the other date. I have confronted him and asked him if he's having an affair, and he gets a look on his face that he gets when he's lying. I'm a substitute teacher, and he has never really been interested in my daily schedule, but he seems to be very cognizant now of when my subbing day starts and when it ends for each day I sub. I've always told him he's a crappy liar (since we were dating) and that I can tell when he's lying. He either gets very defensive or he tells me I'm crazy. i have looked through his phone and our financials and haven't found anything. But he takes clients out for lunches with our credit card and gets reimbursed by his company, and I never see the expense reports bc he submits them elecrtonically through his work platform. He is still secretive on his phone and gets very defensive any time I ask what he’s doing on it. We went to counseling about four years ago because of this trust factor when it first started. We have an appointment to go again.
But, my question is...are these things that are putting me on high alert suspicious to others or do you think I'm being overly alert?