I’m so sorry you are struggling with this. You have gotten great advice. I agree with pp who have said to trust your gut if you think something is wrong it probably is. Also love Dogmom’s advice to take this opportunity to really look at your relationship and yourself and see if it’s meeting your needs. Chances are your spouse’s needs could be overlooked in some way too and an affair could simply be the symptom, not the root problem.
One thing I wanted to add is that I’ve been on this board for about 20 years. This isn’t the first thread on this topic so know that you are definitely not alone. But on most of the other threads and not mentioned here, there was a ton of advice to quietly start taking a closer look at bills, expenses, assets, bank accounts, etc. Before you confront him or even talk to him, know very well what your financial situation is. Because after you 2 talk, he could get nervous and start moving assets around. If he’s lied about cheating he could also lie about money.
" I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi
"This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.