It took DS1 awhile to buy in to therapy. I made the appointment and didn't give him an option to start. We framed it as a life coach who could help him feel better if he implemented and were very careful about choosing the therapist. Based on our experience, one question I'd ask when "interviewing" therapists for a kid/teen/tween is "what techniques do you use for a hesitant participant?" I wouldn't have thought about it but I'm convinced DS1 only opened up because there was no sitting on a couch and chatting. It was all done while playing indoor basketball (over the door hoop), bean bag toss games, video games and even kicking a soccer ball outside. It was obvious the therapist chose games with DS1's interests in mind. When DS2 did some sessions with the same therapist, he was much more open to the idea and did more direct chatting. I suspect more of your DD's friends and classmates see a therapist than she realizes. It was super helpful for DS1 when his therapist told him that he helps kids all day long with similar feelings. It was very normalizing.

I agree with the note-writing idea. DD has used it a few times to tell us hard things and I need to remember to use it more often.