Need some help with travel nerves…

[SnuggleBuggles]

Could just you fly to France ahead of everyone else and relax at your house while the rest of the family continues on their way and meets you there (maybe even a bit sooner than originally planned)? Or could you modify your itinerary to go through a less mountainous part of Italy - maybe along the coast? I know that's far from ideal, but if the alternatives are being in a state of panic or drugged, maybe it sounds better? How many more days are you supposed to be driving around Italy?

I'm so sorry this is happening. If going ahead isn't a good option, I do think maybe trying to drive would help, or get a good, fast acting panic med - there is likely a way to do that with help from your hotel.

I like the flight advice. You don't have to spend every part of the rip together to all make great memories. Head onwards and let them have their experience. See if anyone else wants to join you.

[mackmama]

Sometimes trusting our intuition is the right call.

[gymnbomb]

I like the flight advice. You don't have to spend every part of the rip together to all make great memories. Head onwards and let them have their experience. See if anyone else wants to join you.

This is what I was thinking too. You can either fly ahead or take the train and they can meet you there.


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[California]

So sorry you are going through this on your trip!

Throwing this idea out there as it recently happened to me- I had a panic attack before a special occasion, and when I really worked on the “why,” I realized that the root of my anxiety was an unconscious desire to keep my family together as long as possible, while knowing that this time is fleeting as one is in college and the other is about to start. It manifested itself as a sense of dread and lots of tears. If I remember right you have one in college and close to graduation. The danger of the drive could be triggering that underlying unease. Or maybe not- just throwing this out there in case it helps.

The tricky thing with driving is that you can’t use the anxiety- handling method of “and then what?” Driving curvy mountain roads is legitimately scary. I agree with others that you’d be justified in flying separately, or taking meds, or altering your plans. Hope you find something that works!

[jgenie]

I would try driving. I much prefer driving to being a passenger. If that won’t work for you, fly ahead and have your family continue on with the road trip.

[gatorsmom]

We traveled through Tuscany last summer and it's very twisty driving.
I'm wondering if a local pharmacy might have something for you?
Do you have Benadryl with you? I wonder if sleeping through large periods of driving would be helpful?
Putting airpods in and listening to a meditation or podcast for distraction?

There is also a technique called EFT (tapping). You may be able to find it on youtube and tailor it to your situation. Could be worth a try?

I do have Benedryl with me and I’ll try taking some tonight to see how it makes me feel. I’d be happy to sleep through the driving. I’d be THRILLED to sleep through the driving, actually. I’m going to look up the EFT suggestion too. Thank you!

We have researched taking a train but there are 4 train changes from Florence to Marseille (and then we’d need to rent a car in Marseille to get to our house which is a 2 hour drive). We have researched flights but there are almost none from Florence to Marseille and fewer to Avignon which is closer for us. All the flight have a stopover or 2. It’s crazy. There is another road along the coast to go through Monaco and Nice but it’s just as mountainous and winding. We are staying tonight in Siena after walking around and ds1 had requested we stay in Ravenna tomorrow. It’s a 3 hour drive the opposite way but we booked a hotel for that night and he really wants to see the city for the medieval history there. and then the day after that we stay in Turin. Slowly we are getting closer to France so cutting the trip short would mean a longer drive unless we cut out Ravenna and that’s the only city he really wants to see. The trip from Turin to Avignon through the alps is about 5 hours so it makes sense to keep heading that way we are if we can’t get a direct train or flight. Which it seems we can’t.

[erosenst]

I've been on some of those roads - I get it...

Agree with seeing if you can find something at a pharmacy to help medicate/seeing if Benedryl will be enough. If not - would it work to put on a good podcast and keep your eyes closed while listening? Not seeing it helps with my motion sickness/fear of heights. Also - to the extent possible can you sit on the 'inside of the road/closer to the mountain than side of the road' side? That also helps me to a ridiculous extent.

Good luck!

[khm]

I've been on some of those roads - I get it...

Agree with seeing if you can find something at a pharmacy to help medicate/seeing if Benedryl will be enough. If not - would it work to put on a good podcast and keep your eyes closed while listening? Not seeing it helps with my motion sickness/fear of heights. Also - to the extent possible can you sit on the 'inside of the road/closer to the mountain than side of the road' side? That also helps me to a ridiculous extent.

Good luck!

I agree, sit on the "inside" lane, or try the front passenger seat - I get you don't want to kick your son out, but just try it please, it might be the key and that's worth a lot!

Download some calming podcasts, music or movies. Even old favorite TV shows to just listen to.

Visit a pharmacy.

Travel just sometimes amps us up. I had a visceral reaction to a hotel we stayed at once. I've never, ever considered myself very claustrophobic but I almost couldn't catch my breath at this random (nice!) hotel in KC. Something about the lack of natural light in this room overlooking the inside pool area just freaked me completely out. I kept waking up in a panic. Not quite "panic attack" level, but bad enough.

[trales]

This happened to my mom on at trip we took, she ended up taking a flight, it was long and hard and complex but it worked for her. Now she takes a whole lot of Xanax and can go anywhere with us. If you can get Xanax- even ask around for it, take it. If not, try Benadryl. Your fear is legit and you likely can't just will your way through it, but you can knock yourself out until you can get therapy to work on coping strategies.

My sister has the same issue, she does Xanax and calming, repetitive songs that she focuses only on the words and just concentrates on repeating them and saying the words over and over and over. It works for her.

[hillview]

i like the idea of flying ahead but you might have FOMO. Also agree with take a Benadryl or something that will make you sleep. If you have a way to get anti anxiety meds that is also a great idea. I am sorry. FWIW I have found that in perimenopause I have had totally irrational anxiety a times.