Should DS get a phone?

[Kindra178]

At that age, kids are beginning to make all their own plans without parental involvement. That will begin a little at the beginning of the year and be 100 percent at end of year. This is the most important reason to get a phone now. Also, you are able to control phone usage a lot more now and those rules will stay in place as he ages.


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[georgiegirl]

Subbing in the comment about the Apple Watch with cellular, does that really work? Dd1 will be going to public middle school (7th) and we will be dropping/picking her off daily because there is no bus service but it is 2 miles from home so too far to walk. I don’t think she needs a phone for school hours but maybe this might be the best way to get ahold of her.

For her phone when I activate it we inherited a 2019 iPhone SE from my great aunt who passed away recently so nothing fancy but it will work for her.

The least distractions the better with her TBH.


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DS2 has an Apple Watch with cellular. He’s only 9 but we need to track him (he’s eloped from school in the past). It works well for calls, texting, gps tracking

[DualvansMommy]

Also another thought; I don’t know where you are with managing kid social life.

I was surprised how stepped up DS1 social life gotten since he starts middle school; so the phone was super helpful as I work an intense job so can’t be managing kiddo plans constantly! A lot of texts wouldn’t get answered from me from other moms. So I noticed kids without phones just get left behind cuz it was so spur of moment sometimes.

Not saying it is a reason you’ve to get a phone. But just some things to consider. Also I find parental settings in far better in a phone than Watch.

DS1 doesn’t get apps downloaded without my permission. No social media. It’s mostly used as texting/call, play video games. And I set time limits on his phone. It stays plugged in shared spaces.


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[twowhat?]

Definitely a personal decision.

Our philosophy is that we'd rather our kids have the technology while we have control over teaching them how to appropriately use it. We put a lot of ground rules in place, and I even drafted up a contract that they had to sign. Absolutely ZERO downloads without our permission first. We have access to all passwords, and we can search their phones at any time. We do have a "no social media" policy (no TikTok, Instagram, etc) BUT our kids do use certain apps for chatting with their friends (which I realize can be just as bad). And interestingly our kids have NO desire to have any social media accounts and even tell me that it's scary and sad what TikTok does to their friends (sitting and scrolling at lunchtime without interacting with anyone, for example). We have tons of conversations about online safety, what info is appropriate to put online vs not (even private chats), don't click on anything if there is any doubt, how to recognize scams, ignoring calls from numbers that they don't have programmed into their phones (we've even told them how spam calls can LOOK like numbers they recognize), etc etc etc. There's a LOT to learn and we felt that having a phone and access to the internet would provide opportunities for teaching so that hopefully when they are more independent and it's harder for us to monitor them, they will know how to make wiser decisions. Hopefully.

eta: oh, and YES all social plans are made by phone (messaging) now! They arrange their own plans, checking in with us on availability to give rides or whether it's OK to have a group of X kids over at our house. But they make the plans and we just go along with it, lol.

[jbbhb]

Both my older kids (11 & 12) have Apple Watches with cellular. They also have old iPhones they can use at home on Wi-Fi to text friends. I’m avoiding a phone they take everywhere mostly because I want them interacting with the world rather than staring at a device. The Apple Watches have been perfect for our family and have served their purpose (communication with us and location). Both kids also have AirPods so private phone calls are not a problem.


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[nfceagles]

I think you’re only a year away from every other kid having a phone, so I would probably skip the cost of the watch and go to a hand me down phone. That said, I understand every family is different and respect trying to postpone the phone.


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[gymnbomb]

DS2 has an Apple Watch with cellular. He’s only 9 but we need to track him (he’s eloped from school in the past). It works well for calls, texting, gps tracking

We got one for DS for his birthday when he turned 9 this year. It works great for calls. He has an iPad too, so between the two there is nothing he can’t do that he could with a phone.


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[MSWR0319]

My DS is 11, going into 5th (could be going into 6th but we decided to hold him) and we got him his phone for Christmas. It was getting to the point where he was needing to communicate with us when he wasn't home (at a friends house, needing picked up from practice, running late, etc). In addition to that, he was starting to miss out on socialization because all of his friends were communicating via phones and leaving him out (or texting me and then he wanted my phone all the time). DS is also a screen addict, so I was very hesitant but have been able to control him with apple parental controls just fine. You can lock his phone down so it's nothing more than a phone during school hours if you're worried about that. You can also allow who he texts during those hours if you want him to be able to text a few people in case of an emergency but not his friends for example. DS does not have access to the internet, nor he is allowed to download app without requesting them and getting them approved. We have time limits set on how long he can watch You Tube, etc. He also has been very responsible with it so far.

I'm assuming since he had a Gizmo watch, you're on Verizon. I would look for other providers if you can't find something cheaper than $40 if you do go with the phone. We pay $300 per year through AT&T prepaid. DS1, DS2, and I are all on that plan and I know there are other companies that offer something similar. We bought cheap apple phones through Walmart for both myself and DS1 when we went to that plan. I think they were around $250 at the most. When DH upgraded (his is paid through work), I took his old phone and we gave DS2 mine. Older model, but perfectly functional.

[anonomom]

I don't think he'll look different/be left out if he doesn't have a phone (many kids in my 6th grader's class don't have phones; my son is one of them). That said, if you're going to get him a device anyway, might as well go for the phone. It really does make life easier. There were a few girls in DD's class and girl scout troop this year who didn't have phones (she just finished 8th grade), and it made organizing social events and/or troop things much more difficult. Oh the other hand, DS did make it through 6th grade without one. If he forgot to tell me about a club meeting, he'd just go to the office and call me to tell me when he needed to be picked up.

For some reason, we decided that 7th grade was when our kids get a phone. That worked well with our first kid, but honestly our middle kid could have waited a year. That first year, I consistently had to remind her to bring it with her to practices, social events, etc. She didn't actually start using her phone much at all until this semester.

[zukeypur]

Kids got hand-me-down phones until middle school, and only got new SE's because we switched to Verizon and they were free. We ditched verizon last week and switched to T-Mobile, so they all traded in their 3 year old phones for iPhone 13s. Still not the newest, but free.

My kids have limits on their phones (which I know they can easily go around) and limits on our home wifi network, and they know that I can get access to their phones and everything on them whenever I want, which I do. They know that if I can't get into their phone, they loose it. They are pretty responsible with them, and we haven't had any problems thus far with the younger two. The older one is another story...a long story. Apple ate her brain when she got her first iPod. I think she was probably around 11 or 12. We learned to put strict limits on it with the other two kids.