How get over this

[niccig]

So for DS’ grad party some people rsvped yes then just didn’t show or texted last minute they couldn’t make it. Two families in particular I’m still mad about. We’ve attended their kids events or help them out a lot (it takes a village), and half their family (all kids over 18) went and did something else. The parents showed up, but one set only for 20 mins. Prior to the party they said everyone would be there. Don’t rsvp yes and then change your mind. It’s just rude. And yes I know the parents can’t control the over 18 kids. Then both families, one at the party and one 2 days later, asked me for a favor, to go out of my way, to help them with something for the kids that didn’t turn up. I said no I was too busy and couldn’t help out.

I’ve been sick this week and I’m tired. Plus you didn’t support my family for something that was important to us, but now you want me to help you! I’ve told DH I need space so I don’t tell the families how rude I find their behavior. So how to let this go…


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[georgiegirl]

I’m sorry. I can see why you are upset. Hugs.


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[jgenie]

I’m sorry they weren’t there to celebrate with you. Nothing wrong with you setting boundaries that work for you.

[carolinamama]

I'm sorry they didn't make it to your DS's party. I completely understand your feelings and think you should be proud of yourself for knowing what boundaries you need and sticking to them.

[PunkyBoo]

I'm also sorry, I've been there too and it really sucks. Last year for DS1's grad party, it was SIL who did this. The party was at a restaurant so we were paying for all the food based on the headcount from RSVP. She RSVPd that 7 of them would come -her, her H, all 4 if her kids plus the older son's GF. And her 4 kids are BIG kids (3 of which are over 18) who generally eat a lot. The day of the party 3 of them showed up. When I questioned her where the rest of her family was, she said they made other plans. I was SO mad. Frankly I'm still very ticked off by it.
So honestly, I get it and it's ok to be angry and hurt. I'd like to say time will heal it, but it's been a year for me and I'm still mad but it does matter less to me. I find value in knowing who people are and if they really care.

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[DualvansMommy]

Completely valid and ok to feel that way! It’s a huge milestone for your family, and I get it graduations making their rounds is hard. So I would be ticked off at lack of consideration in not giving you a heads up and good on you to keep your boundaries too. It’s how I manage my own expectations; by controlling how i’d react with my own boundaries.


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[Peaches Keane]

I have no advice for getting ver it, but I’m glad you set your boundaries. I imagine you might be seeing less of them with your DS moving on in life.

[niccig]

I'm also sorry, I've been there too and it really sucks. Last year for DS1's grad party, it was SIL who did this. The party was at a restaurant so we were paying for all the food based on the headcount from RSVP. She RSVPd that 7 of them would come -her, her H, all 4 if her kids plus the older son's GF. And her 4 kids are BIG kids (3 of which are over 18) who generally eat a lot. The day of the party 3 of them showed up. When I questioned her where the rest of her family was, she said they made other plans. I was SO mad. Frankly I'm still very ticked off by it.
So honestly, I get it and it's ok to be angry and hurt. I'd like to say time will heal it, but it's been a year for me and I'm still mad but it does matter less to me. I find value in knowing who people are and if they really care.

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I’m sorry you experienced the same. It stinks!
I hope it’ll matter less in time.


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[niccig]

I have no advice for getting ver it, but I’m glad you set your boundaries. I imagine you might be seeing less of them with your DS moving on in life.

I’m too tired and sick this week to go out of my way to help. Give me a bit and I’ll help again as I can. The parents are good friends of ours and were friends before the kids came along. DH reminded me the parents came and they did lend us some items for the party. It’s the 18-20 year olds that ditched us, what’s annoying is we’ve gone to all their events


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[KpbS]

I'm sorry. That just hurts. I get it.

(((Hugs)))