Family and the holidays. Add your b*tch

[bcafe]

I actually see the beginnings of this with a few of DC's friends. We have a few family members who are well into their 50's and never left their parent's home. I always wondered how that could happen, now I am watching the beginning of it, it's heartbreaking. Even DC can see the signs.

I had a great childhood and I still couldn't WAIT to leave for college and be independent. What a head scratcher.

[echoesofspring]

And at 42 years old, I'll still be making them plates of chicken nuggets while they play video games in their underwear in the basement. shudder.

I remember a year or so ago when DS proposed this to me, like, once he's not burdened by the obligation of attending school why would he want to leave? I know he's really pretty young still but I nipped that in the bud.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I once told ds2 that it was my fear that he’d become one with the couch and never leave. I might have mentioned also weighing like 400lbs too (he was just snacking and playing video games like it was his job). He brought it up maybe a year ago? I think it motivated him not to go down that road. But, who knows?


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[StantonHyde]

I made it VERY clear to my children that were expected to LEAVE when they turned 18. Like go to college. Period. Which they both have done and they will not be allowed to move back once they graduate and have jobs. Obviously, if something awful happened and they need a place to land, ok. But--there will be an end date and rent charged etc. I will not make it easy for them to live with us. And they don't want to. Yay!!!! We all love and like each other. But even baby birds leave the nest.

[DualvansMommy]

I never understood that mindset of turning 18; kids are to be out of house forever. Of course there’s the fine line of not wanting them to stay in parent’s home once they hit 30 or older.

The kids generation and younger really do have it tough as far economic times go. They’re saddled with student loans, and this is where I can do by my kids is ensuring they won’t have undergrad student debt.

But yes, better that, wages not really keeping up with inflation, housing costs along with interest rates. Why hurry the financial independence up? I would have loved to have my parents help in my early 20’s while living in Boston and working 2 jobs then. If they can live in my home, while attending graduate studies, pay minimal rent but help out with house I’m ok with that plan if it comes to that.


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[jgenie]

I never understood that mindset of turning 18; kids are to be out of house forever. Of course there’s the fine line of not wanting them to stay in parent’s home once they hit 30 or older.

The kids generation and younger really do have it tough as far economic times go. They’re saddled with student loans, and this is where I can do by my kids is ensuring they won’t have undergrad student debt.

But yes, better that, wages not really keeping up with inflation, housing costs along with interest rates. Why hurry the financial independence up? I would have loved to have my parents help in my early 20’s while living in Boston and working 2 jobs then. If they can live in my home, while attending graduate studies, pay minimal rent but help out with house I’m ok with that plan if it comes to that.


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I’m with you. I put myself through college working multiple jobs along the way. I wish I had support when I was out of college and working for peanuts early on. I would be fine with my kids coming home after college as long as they were saving money and not squandering it.

[georgiegirl]

I never understood that mindset of turning 18; kids are to be out of house forever. Of course there’s the fine line of not wanting them to stay in parent’s home once they hit 30 or older.

The kids generation and younger really do have it tough as far economic times go. They’re saddled with student loans, and this is where I can do by my kids is ensuring they won’t have undergrad student debt.

But yes, better that, wages not really keeping up with inflation, housing costs along with interest rates. Why hurry the financial independence up? I would have loved to have my parents help in my early 20’s while living in Boston and working 2 jobs then. If they can live in my home, while attending graduate studies, pay minimal rent but help out with house I’m ok with that plan if it comes to that.


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The 20-something down the street mostly plays video games in the basement (or at least that’s what I’ve heard. And we’ve lived here for over 4 years.)

I’m totally fine with helping my kids out, but I want them to find some sort of career and desire independence. I’m happy to help out, but I’m not here to do their laundry when they are in their 20s.


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[niccig]

I never understood that mindset of turning 18; kids are to be out of house forever. Of course there’s the fine line of not wanting them to stay in parent’s home once they hit 30 or older.

The kids generation and younger really do have it tough as far economic times go. They’re saddled with student loans, and this is where I can do by my kids is ensuring they won’t have undergrad student debt.

But yes, better that, wages not really keeping up with inflation, housing costs along with interest rates. Why hurry the financial independence up? I would have loved to have my parents help in my early 20’s while living in Boston and working 2 jobs then. If they can live in my home, while attending graduate studies, pay minimal rent but help out with house I’m ok with that plan if it comes to that.


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Rent is so expensive here and wages haven’t kept up. Talking with older colleagues at my work, many kids needed to move back home while working first jobs until got raises/promotions to afford rent. DH said DS would have to get roommates just like DH did 35 years ago. Then DH started talking with colleagues in their 20s at his work, even with several roommates, it’s difficult to afford rent. He’s changed his tune and sees that DS will probably need to live back home after college. There will be expectations for rent and share of house chores. DS already has a part time job as we told him we weren’t paying for entertainment expenses at college. So we help out, but he has to pay too, and with time that amount will increase.


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[georgiegirl]

Rent is so expensive here and wages haven’t kept up. Talking with older colleagues at my work, many kids needed to move back home while working first jobs until got raises/promotions to afford rent. DH said DS would have to get roommates just like DH did 35 years ago. Then DH started talking with colleagues in their 20s at his work, even with several roommates, it’s difficult to afford rent. He’s changed his tune and sees that DS will probably need to live back home after college. There will be expectations for rent and share of house chores. DS already has a part time job as we told him we weren’t paying for entertainment expenses at college. So we help out, but he has to pay too, and with time that amount will increase.


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I’m 100% for helping out so long as your kid is working towards some sort of goal (school), gainfully employed, looking for a job, doing something productive with their lives. I don’t want them to feel like they can not work very hard because they can just move home because the basement is nice and mom buys nice snacks from Costco. I think it’s a fear of mine because DS1 has a lot going on in terms of mental health and motivation and I can see him wanting to stay because it’s easier and he could be lazy. I have zero doubt that my other two will be fine.


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[bcafe]

College graduates can always move to where the standard of living is lower to save on rent but many are unwilling to leave the comfort and status of their parent's lifestyle.