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  1. #1
    jgenie is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default Please help me think this through

    One of my DC tried out for a sports team last fall. They had no experience with the sport prior but made the cut. DC tried out for a different team in the spring. Again no experience prior to tryouts. DC didnít make the cut.

    This year DC tried out for the fall team but did not make the cut this time. DC plans to try out for the spring team this spring. I offered outside lessons to develop skills but DC has not been interested. The level of skill of both teams is far above the skill DC has. DC doesnít seem to realize the difference. I hate to think heís going to try out again and be cut. I donít want DC to think I donít have faith in his abilities if I tell him heís not going to make the team. Help me think through which way to go here.

  2. #2
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    elektra is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    If you've already offered the lessons that are probably necessary, and he's declined then I would leave it at that. It was a great way to support him but it's up to him if he wants to put in that extra work.
    I don't know all the details but in general, getting cut from a team can be a great learning experience for the next time he wants to try something.
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  3. #3
    firstbaby is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Is the fall sport the same as the spring sport? I ask bc it will be harder for your DC to make the team if the same kids are playing together for the same sport on the same team, ie harder t break in the older they get. It’s awesome that you are willing to support your child and their skill development.

    I guess I would get more curious with questions and ask my dc what they enjoy about the sport? Do they feel prepared for the tryouts? What isn’t appealing about private coaching / lessons? Is there another way they see themselves preparing for the new season? Try to see what their vision and desire is for making the team.

    One of my kids will put themselves out there really easily and not worry about the outcome, another DC will let their self doubt self select them out before even trying out.

  4. #4
    Kindra178 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Itís super common to make the early years in competitive high school sports but much harder when the kids progress through high school. This is likely because there are more spots for freshmen, such as A and B teams. Most kids on most sports are doing some sort of significant work outside the high school sport, including travel/club teams, private lessons and specialized weight training.

    I think you need to be honest with him. You can tell him that the vast majority of kids on that spring team play club year round, there are even fewer spots than last year, welcome to try out but may be tough to secure a spot.

    I would encourage other clubs/activities and sports that are less competitive.


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  5. #5
    hbridge is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I would explain to him WHY you are offering extra lessons and WHY you are encouraging training for the season. Let him know that it is competitive and he may not make the team but would have a better chance with lessons and training.

    THEN let him decide. That way, you have given him every opportunity to be successful and it's HIS choice.

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