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Thread: Funeral attire

  1. #1
    PunkyBoo is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Default Funeral attire

    It's been a while since I've attended any funerals and the last ones I attended were family. I will be attending a funeral (cemetery/gravesite, not church/mass) later this week and don't know what is appropriate to wear. For family I always wore a black dress with heels/dress shoes. This is a former co-worker, who retired about a year ago. I don't want to be overdressed (we work in business casual, and post covid life seems a little less dressy) but don't want to be insulting if underdressed. If I wear black pants, should my top be black too? Should I wear a dress instead? Other coworkers attending are all men so I don't have anyone to ask.

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  2. #2
    AnnieW625's Avatar
    AnnieW625 is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Default Funeral attire

    General work attire is fine. I would wear black pants, a top/sweater or top with a blazer and ballet flats since you will be at a cemetery.

    ETA: I usually don’t wear all black. For my grandma’s funeral year’s ago I wore a wrap dress from Boden with a print that reminded me of a dress my Grandma would’ve worn. Of course you don’t have that luxury as it is a co worker but I don’t think all black is necessary and I don’t think you would be underdressed if you wore business attire that wasn’t black or navy blue.

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    Last edited by AnnieW625; 04-15-2024 at 04:59 PM.
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  3. #3
    o_mom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    The funerals I have been to lately have been a mix. Family is usually well-dressed (suit and tie for men, dress or dressy pants for women). Everyone else is a range from that down to jeans with a a button down shirt. The majority of non-family are in the business casual range.

    I would probably go with the slightly nicer side of business casual (dress pants and shoes - does not have to be heels, nicer top). I don't think all black is a hard and fast rule any more, just wouldn't go with something super flashy - think bland/boring/unremarkable.
    Mama to three boys ('03, '05, '07)

  4. #4
    essnce629's Avatar
    essnce629 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I wore a black dress from Amazon to my uncle's funeral 2 months ago. It was chilly and drizzly so I wore booties, tights, and the dress was 3/4 sleeved. My mom had a black dress, but decided to wear black pants and black top at the last minute because of the weather. I wouldn't wear heels if you're going to be at the cemetery, unless they're chunky, since you'll sink in the grass. I'd say dress or pants are fine.
    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
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  5. #5
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I've worn a charcoal gray sweater/cardigan top with black pants.
    K

  6. #6
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I would wear black and not heels.

    I was really surprised lately when I attended a "celebration of life" for a very young person. It was purposefully not called a funeral. When I googled what to wear, it was stated that black wasn't required. I know I've attended one other "celebration of life", albeit it was for a much older person and nearly a year after he passed away. (He died during COVID of natural causes and his widow celebrated him in the summer of 2021 when things started opening back up again). This prior celebration was very casual and no black was worn. I had decided initially to wear a nice dress and maybe even a colorful one, to be joyful rather than somber!

    At the last minute, I decided to wear a dark navy dress. I was so glad that I did. Nearly every single person there was in black. It was at that moment that I decided I'd rather be the overdressed, too somber person than the underdressed person. And I apologize for this wordy reply but that's why I'm sharing! If in doubt, I would go more formal rather than less.

  7. #7
    firstbaby is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I went to a funeral this past weekend and the majority of people were dressed in mostly black. Some men had dark suits on and some women had dresses or blouses with a print on it (on a black background).

  8. #8
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    I wore black pants and a black top to the last funeral I went to. No one was super fancy. (It was very traumatic since it was a 9 year old boy. One of DS2’s friends from cub scouts.)


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